Between the Lines
by NRZWolf 13
Summary: Rick is beaten almost daily by the man supposed to be his father. Kate just wants the pain to stop. Who protects you when your own parents are the monsters? Very AU / OOC / adult themes / Caskett / very dark fic /
1. Stuck in the Dark

**Warnings: graphic descriptions of physical abuse, sexual abuse, eventually consensual sex and very dark thoughts. A lot of angst. ****It's a very dark fic alright?**

**Also, due to a review I received I thought I should make it clear I have not experience abuse nor inflicted it myself. It's probably more fucked up that I'm making this up from nothing but ah well. Everyone needs an outlet and this is mine.**

**Poor Rick and Kate though.**

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><p>Castle:<br>**Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 1:  
><em>- Stuck in the Dark -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

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><p>Rick barely had time to see his father's huge fist swing in an arc towards him before it had made contact with his stomach, throwing him off his feet. If he'd eaten anything in the past twelve hours he would have been sick. As it was, he felt the breath explode out of him as he crashed backwards onto the floor of his bedroom. Darkness shimmered in front of his cerulean blue eyes as he hovered at the edge of consciousness and he had to fight with all his strength simply to breathe again. He felt splinters dig into his face from the cold, hard wooden floor. He needed it. It helped to fight the dark away.<p>

"You're lying to me," Anthony Castle snarled at his sixteen year old son. "You think I'm an idiot? You think I'm not worthy of respect?"

"No…" Rick gasped but he still hadn't caught his breath and he was in too much pain. A coppery taste filled his mouth. He had bitten his tongue when he landed. "I swear I don't know…"

Anthony swung his foot almost lazily and Rick yelled out as it came into contact with his ribs. A new wave of pain seared through his body. For a few seconds, his room went red and, not for the first time, Rick wondered if his father was going to kill him.

"What don't you know?" Anthony sneered. "You don't know why you did it? That's not a good answer you worthless piece of shit. Tell me what you did with MY MONEY!"

He lashed out again. Rick caught the boot coming in the nick of time and was able to ride with it, rolling over and over until his back crashed into the wall. He lay there panting, sweat dripping off of his hair and blood trickling from his nose.

"You shouldn't have done that," Anthony snarled while walking towards him slowly, one step at a time.

"I… haven't… done… _anything… _wrong… I… _swear…"_

"Then who did? Hmm? Was it little Alexis?" Anthony laughed as Rick started violently. "Of course it wasn't. She isn't like _you_. She's our little angel while you came from the pits of hell. Pathetic and worthless and I don't know why I keep you. I don't want to… and I won't. Unless you tell me the truth,"

But what truth could Rick tell? He hadn't stolen his father's money. He didn't even know his father had any money! He couldn't do anything…

Anthony reached out and grabbed Rick's hair. He tugged it so hard that Rick cried out. He could feel the tears being squeezed from his eyes. "Where is my money?" his father asked.

Rick said nothing, just continued to try and breathe normally despite the pain.

"Where is it?" Anthony pulled harder.

"I don't know!" Rick screamed. He was sure his hair was going to be torn from its scalp. Blood trickled out of his nose and out of the corner of his mouth. His mind was reeling and desperately trying to work out what to say. He had to say something – anything – to stop the pain.

For one agony filled moment, Anthony did nothing, simply stood and held his struggling son with no emotion on his face. Then, without warning, he dropped Rick onto the floor. Rick lay where he was, sprawled out on the floor like one of those drawings the police make after there's been a murder. He wondered if a few of his ribs had been broken. His entire body was in pain.

His father dropped down next to him and cupped a hand under his cheek. For a moment he truly seemed like a father consoling his injured son, but every word he spoke dripped with venom and hate. "You mean nothing to me. I only keep you because it's what _she_ would have wanted. That _does not _mean you can do what you want. That _does not _mean you shouldn't be punished for what you did by being born. That _does not fucking mean that I even like you!_" Anthony's voice had risen to a roar by the end. "Got that!?"

Feebly, Rick nodded his head. Anthony let the teenager's head fall and Rick felt another spasm of pain as his head came into contact with the wooden floor. Before he finally left, Rick's father spat on him. "You're worthless. Remember that. And you _better _be at school tomorrow,"

That almost made Rick laugh. Almost. Sometimes it felt like he had forgotten how to smile. It was hard to be happy when he knew his father was right. He was worthless.

For a few moments, the teenager continued to lie there and listen to the apartment creak around him. Pain throbbed through his body and he was so tired. He just wanted to sleep. However, it sounded like Anthony was leaving in order to get even more pissed and that meant Alexis could come out of her room and be with Rick for a little while. If he was passed out, he wouldn't be able to cherish that.

So it was with a great amount of effort – and pain – that Rick dragged himself over to his bed and pulled himself onto the soft mattress. The front door slammed shut leaving the apartment in darkness. Instinctively, Rick curled in on himself, bringing his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and letting his head fall into the dark haven of his arms. It felt like a tiny voice inside of him was whispering to him '_Be small boy' _like he needed encouragement. Sometimes he wished he could simply crawl inside of himself and be done with it.

Alexis wouldn't come out of her room for a few more minutes. She needed to make sure Anthony was really gone. Rick could rest a while till then… just a little while…

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

The rain gently pattered against the window, a soothing rhythm that acted as a lullaby so that Kate Beckett could fall asleep before her step-father arrived home. It didn't seem to be working though.

Kate tossed and turned for a few more minutes before finally muttering, "For god's sake," and sitting up. Her thick, chocolate brown tresses fell in a messy heap around her head, framing her face and making her pale skin stand out even more. Dark circles from lack of sleep rested almost permanently under her eyes and crow's feet reached out from the corners. Her emerald green eyes matched her exhausted his face. In the years that had led up to the hell she lived through every day, something had happened to her eyes leaving them broken, fatigued… _lifeless. _

Quietly, Kate slid out of bed and padded through the apartment into the bathroom. The one thing she wanted to do right now was have a shower but Alex Beckett would be home any minute and she was risking enough by being up as it was. She forced herself to calm down. He wasn't there yet. She just had to do what she always did. Stay cool; bathe her hands in warm water for a couple of minutes and go back to bed relaxed and ready to sleep. Simple.

The only problem was it let the memories come back. They always did.

_Mommy… don't let daddy kiss me._

Kate closed her eyes.

_Kate, don't be silly._

If only Johanna Beckett knew how very un-silly her daughter was.

Katharine Beckett was only four when her mother remarried. It had scared her at first. She had never had a father and wasn't used to him being around. She wasn't used to it not being her mom and herself anymore.

But Alex Beckett was a nice man. He didn't mind that Kate was so wary of him. He let her warm up to him in her own time. Over three years he gained her trust. Johanna was happier than she had been in a long time. Kate, although young, saw this and knew it was because of Alex. So she let her defences down.

And Alex trampled all over her.

Kate was seven when her step-father first began kissing her. Not the nice 'kiss daddy on the cheek' kiss. The 'forcing his tongue down her throat' kiss. She had been terrified. Seven years old, her mother away on a business trip, unable to move or breathe until Alex was finished.

But Kate couldn't say a word. Alex made that clear.

Mercifully, for two years kissing was all Alex could get away with. Kate hated it, but she could deal with it. Then a couple of weeks after her ninth birthday Alex crept into her room and slipped his fingers down her little cotton panties. He invaded a place she was only ever meant to show willingly and did so for a long time.

Then the worst happened. Johanna Beckett died. For so long she had been her daughter's unwitting final defence and now she was gone. A random act of gang violence.

Now Kate was all alone.

She was still nine when Alex made her touch… _him_ for the first time. He had groaned when he made her rub it and Kate could only cry as she was forced to hold his huge, sticky member. It had been one of the worst nights of her life.

The next worse was during the year she turned ten. Alex made her give oral for the first time and he wasn't an easy man to please. Little Kate was sobbing and choking the whole way through and at the end, what was her reward? To be forced to swallow every last bit of his seed.

She was twelve, twelve years old when Alex first forced himself inside of her. Kate had never known pain like it and for weeks after had constant nightmares. He still continued to do it regardless.

When she turned thirteen she had her first womanly period. At first it was a blessing. For one week a month she would be safe from his touches. Then it quickly turned into a nightmare. Alex decided to show his little 'pet' the wonders… of anal sex.

Kate passed out half way through and could only remember waking up, smelling disgusting and covered in filth. From then on, during the lead up to her period Kate would be given a strict liquid diet only.

The sixteen year old felt all of these memories passing through her head for the millionth time as she bathed her arms in the warm water of the sink. So many times and it was never any easier. She missed her mother so much.

Kate felt a tear trickle down from her emerald green eyes as she thought of her mother. How she missed her. To anyone watching, it would seem as though the young girl was about to dissolve into sobs. But Kate Beckett was made of stronger stuff.

Instead, she wiped the stray tear away and emptied the sink before returning to her room. She then climbed into bed, her mind pleasantly fuzzier than before, and determinedly shut her eyes once more. Listening to the drumming of rain on the window, she tried to lose herself in the erratic beat. Sleep was the only sanctuary she had. Alex had never tried anything while Kate was unconscious and if he had, at least he hadn't woken her up.

But tonight it was important. Alex usually wore a condom and if he forgot or couldn't be bothered, he knew Kate took birth control pills. The problem was Kate had run out. While she was broken, while little of her life seemed worth something, pregnancy and unpredictable periods was the only thing she could bring herself to worry about anymore.

Academics, friends (or lack of), jobs, her _future… _it didn't seem worth very much at all.

Maybe Kate was a child of merciful Gods however because shortly before the moment Alex walked through the door of apartment 6A, she fell into a deep, uneasy sleep.


	2. New School, New Friends?

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 2:  
><em>- New School, New Friends -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

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><p>Alexis Castle had been woken by her alarm clock on the first beep and was up and out of bed by the third. As if she had been doing it for months and not the first time in weeks, the thirteen year old pulled on a school-worthy set of clothes and robotically packed her bag for the first day of school.<p>

_I don't know!_

Rick's voice echoed through her head and then she stopped pushing books into her bag. Alexis closed her eyes and took a breath, fighting the wave of emotions threatening to crash over her. She couldn't bear it. She needed to know he was okay. She had checked in on him last night to find him asleep and she hadn't had the heart to wake him. Not when he looked so peaceful for the first time in weeks, despite the blood and bruises.

Abandoning her half-packed messenger bag, Alexis hurried to her door, unlocked it and darted into her brother's room.

Rick wasn't there.

No, that wasn't possible. Alexis scanned the room as though her brother was hiding and she would find him hiding under the covers or in the cupboard if she simply looked hard enough. Panic began to flood her senses as she thought of all the horrible things her 'father' had done to him.

Then she saw the blood.

A dark red stain on the floor gathered in a small pool next to Rick's battered wardrobe and then smears leading out of the room and down the hall.

Alexis didn't know whether to be relieved or start panicking even more so instead she followed the trail of blood into the small bathroom and nearly screamed.

Rick's battered unconscious form, still fully clothed, was half submerged in the pinkish water the bath contained. Alexis hurried forward and almost cried with relief when she saw his head was still held above the water, although it was close to dipping in. Her brother hadn't been that badly beaten when she checked on him the night before which meant…

Anthony had beaten him again last night.

Quickly, she dragged her brother out and laid him on the bathroom floor. She lifted up his soaking shirt and bit her lip when she saw a deep, broad wound on his ribs that looked like it had been made with a knife and was sluggishly bleeding. His skin was ice cold and wasn't warming up like it usually did. Alexis fought not to cry. It wouldn't help.

The sound of a door opening from inside the apartment made Alexis go rigid. Fear clouded her senses as she listened to the footsteps of her father moving slowly around the apartment. _'Of course he'd still be here. Why didn't I check?'_

She didn't know how long she sat in the bathroom, her hands over Rick's bleeding wound in an effort to stop the blood pouring out. She didn't know how long she sat there praying that Anthony wouldn't come into the bathroom to have a shower in an effort to get rid of his hangover. She didn't know how long she silently pleaded Rick not to make a noise.

All she knew was terror. For her and her brother.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

"Sweetie, wake up. It's time for school,"

Kate woke up to the sound she hated most in the world. Alex Beckett's voice. He used to be called Alex Stevenson but changed it when he married Johanna. Kate's mother had loved the name Beckett.

Slowly Kate opened her eyes, the emerald orbs drawn to the rain gently hitting the window with a soft, never-ending _tap-tap-tap-tap. _It was like millions of tiny hands beating on her window, trying to reach her, to help her.

"Katie, darling?"

Kate closed her eyes again and whispered, "Yes?"

"I've made waffles. Make sure you get up soon,"

"Sure,"

And then he left. Kate sighed in relief and reopened her eyes. Today was the first day of school and Kate was never happier than when she was there. She didn't have to spend all day with that monster. Alex worked at home so he could 'take a break' and saunter in whenever he liked. Not today. If he wanted to have his way with her this morning, he would have done so by now.

Despite this, it was with a heavy heart Kate went about her usual morning routine. She was sick of acting as though everything was normal. Sick of the monster she was forced to live with.

She just needed _someone _to help her. But Kate Beckett knew that there was no-one.

At least, not yet.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Alexis could hear Anthony's footsteps getting closer and closer to the closed bathroom door and still Rick hadn't moved. In fact, he had barely even breathed. It was as if he too was waiting for Anthony to come in, see them and then…

She didn't want to think about it.

Still, the heavy footfalls of her tall, well built father trudged towards them. Alexis closed her eyes...

The sound of a handle being turned.

A muttered curse.

Terrified, Alexis opened her eyes.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

The waffles were cooked to what Kate would call perfection. But Alex had made them. That was enough to make the taste go sour, the texture feeling like chewing on carpet and it was almost impossible to swallow.

When Kate had been younger, and still had friends before she went to high school, Alex had allowed sleep overs. Of course she could only go to one sleepover every week. Whenever her friends came round they always complained about how their parents only made them 'boring breakfasts' while Alex lavished them with pancakes and waffles and maple syrup and all manner of glorious things.

Alex Beckett and the Wonderful Breakfast Factory.

That would be the worstmovie_ ever__._

The side of Kate's mouth twitched. That was the closest she could get to a real smile these days. She lay down her knife and fork and looked up at Alex. "I'm sorry… Dad. I don't think I can finish these this morning,"

She couldn't help the hesitation before 'Dad'. It was what he always wanted her to call him. And she couldn't disobey his rules.

But she was so tired that morning she didn't seem to realise she had just broken one of those rules. He gave her food, she ate all of it. The end.

She didn't recognise the tiny rebellious spark the single twitch of the mouth had ignited. She didn't comprehend that inside of her the will to fight was there. It was just buried too deep to bring it out.

"Katie, you'll need your strength for today," Alex coaxed.

Kate bit back the two scathing remarks she desperately wanted to utter. One, her name was _Kate, _not Katie. Two, she was sixteen, not six. Instead, she looked at her step-father and said," I know, Dad. But it's only the first day. They don't usually pile homework on us. In fact, they give us barely any and if they do, I'll make sure to have a formal apology ready for you by tomorrow,"

Alex gave her a long look that many could be mistaken as slightly worried. Anyone new to the situation would think it was unusual that Kate did not eat her breakfast today if Alex was looking at her in such a way. But Kate knew the truth. It was disappointment, not worry. He was disappointed his little pet still wasn't abiding by the rules. The sarcasm in her sentence wasn't lost on him. Of course it wasn't. Alex noticed everything.

But the look changed so suddenly, Kate was put off. The disappointment turned to lust and he whispered, "I'm sure I know plenty of ways to make you sorry, Katie. You don't have to make it formal. It doesn't even have to be an apology,"

Kate shivered and couldn't help looking away from his unnaturally greyish-brown eyes. Not an attractive mix. And he was still staring. It felt as though he wasn't just staring at her, but _into _her, into her very heart. The silence was broken only by the pattering of rain and the ticking of the clock on the kitchen.

The teenager quickly glanced at the clock and pulled herself away from the table. "I'm late for school. I've gotta go,"

The dark haired girl grabbed her bag, umbrella and grey beanie hat she always wore. She was half way to the door when Alex said suddenly, "It's raining. Why don't I drive you up, Katie?"

Kate stopped, closed her eyes and inwardly groaned. Plastering a fake smile on, she turned and she nodded. "Sure thing, Dad. Why not?"

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

The bathroom was empty.

Alexis stared in surprise at the closed doorway, the white tiles on the walls not bearing any creepy shadows, her brother still barely breathing, still bleeding sluggishly, and felt herself go faint.

The dramatic _Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump _in her chest slowed to a more relaxed _Thump-thump, Thump-thump, Thump-thump. _She let out a huge breath she didn't realise she had been holding and looked at her brother again. Was he paler than before?

Anthony Castle must have come in the front door and gone into his own room, the one next to the bathroom. The curse was maybe because he forgot something. Alexis didn't really care. _'Go, Dad, leave…'_

A minute (or maybe an hour?) later, Anthony obeyed his daughter's thoughts and left the apartment for work.

Immediately, Alexis got to work. Her brother was still freezing, unconscious and bleeding. First things first, she needed to warm him up and hopefully wake him up in the process. The red haired girl pulled the plug out of the bath and watched in fascinated horror as the last of the blood stained water slithered down the plug hole. She then stuck the plug back in and began filling it up with hot water. When it was half way full, she dragged her brother in.

Rick gasped as pain shot through his body. He groaned and automatically tried to fight back from the assault. He needed to get away, he couldn't take it. It was too painful.

"Stop it," he moaned.

"Rick! Ricky, it's me, Alexis! You're okay it's just the water,"

"Hurts Lex," he slurred out. Rick heard what sounded like a resigned sigh and a second later was coughing and spluttering after lukewarm water was poured over his face. Blinking through the liquid, Rick struggled to make out his sister.

"You okay?" she asked but the words sounded far off, like they were being spoken from the other side of a window.

"Things couldn't be hunky-dorier," Rick couldn't resist the sarcastic reply. He was glad when Alexis smiled slightly. "Could you shut that water off, Lex?"

Alexis did as her brother asked as he struggled to get out of the bath. Once out he blinked a couple of times before nearly collapsing. Luckily (sadly) Alexis had been expecting something like this and grabbed him before he hit the hard floor. "Maybe you shouldn't go to school today, Ricky. You need to rest,"

"No," he rasped out. "I just… I just need a shower… and some breakfast, okay?"

Alexis knew her brother was lying. She knew that she should make him stay home. She knew that the wound in his ribs was much more serious than he would make it out to be and needed proper medical attention. She knew going to school was the worst possible thing for him right now.

But she was also still the scared thirteen-year old who didn't understand why her father was this way and why her brother was the focus of his rage. She stayed strong for her brother but also understood that without Rick she was nothing but a scared thirteen year old girl. She _needed _Rick to be okay more than she realised.

So Alexis nodded and turned to leave the bathroom.

"Could you also get me some aspirin? And some bandages for my chest…"

"Yeah, I know," she whispered.

"Hey," Rick stumbled over to his sister and hugged her gently. "Everything is gonna be okay. I promise,"

Alexis pulled out of the hug first. She looked into Rick's beautiful cerulean blue eyes and said, "Don't make promises you can't keep,"

And then she left.

Rick watched as his sister left and closed the door. He listened to the sound of her footsteps disappearing down the hall before sighing. It didn't matter what she said or what his dad did to him. He would never go back on a promise he had made to Alexis.

Slowly, he stripped off his clothes and ignored the water in the bath, instead opting for the shower. He couldn't resist a small whimper as the blast of water, as hot as he could bear, pounded his shoulders and back, waking him up instantly. Gritting his teeth, he took care to clean the wound on his chest and any other cuts he had received during the night before.

_Worthless piece of shit! I don't know why I put up with you! You don't deserve to live and yet you're still here! Why?! WHY!?_

The brunette teenager closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. Honestly, he didn't know why his dad put up with him either. He didn't know why his dad didn't just throw him onto the street. He didn't know why his dad even kept him alive. Hell, he didn't even know why _he _didn't just run away.

Of course, this wasn't the truth. Rick stayed to protect Alexis. She didn't deserve a life on the streets or a life in a home. As for why his father put up with him, Rick only had theories. But maybe his mother…

If his body wasn't hurting so much already, Rick would've hit himself on the head. _'Don't think about Mom!'_

With great reluctance, Rick left the shower and unplugged the unused bath water. Having a shower in the morning was always his favourite part of the morning. Sure, most of the time it was painful, but the time spent was his. Five minutes to himself. Five minutes where he didn't have to worry about school or Alexis or his dad. Five minutes to collect his thoughts and prepare himself for whatever the day might throw his way.

He left the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist. When he entered his bedroom, Rick couldn't resist a smile. On the bed were a pair of cargo jeans and a loose shirt along with a box of bandages, a bottle of aspirin pills and a glass of water was on the bedside table. Leaning against the bedside table was his bag and Rick knew it already had whatever he needed for today packed in it.

"Thanks, Lex," he whispered to the empty room. His sister could bitch like a mother with PMS, she could worry herself sick and she could give him looks that tore his heart in two after a particularly bad night.

But she was bloody effing _brilliant _at the same time.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

"Aren't you going to give me a good-bye kiss?" Steve asked in the tone one would use to chat up a slut.

Kate glanced at the man gazing at her with an expectant smile on his face and then around the car park. The school parking lot was empty and all the students were inside because of the rain. Swallowing slightly, she leaned over and touched her mouth to his. Before she could pull away and leave it at that, Steve had her face cupped in one of his hands. She couldn't do anything as his tongue invaded her mouth. She couldn't do anything but respond.

He wouldn't punish her this way.

After what seemed an eternity, Steve pulled away and smiled at his step-daughter. Kate didn't have the heart to spit in his face and rush out of the car. The rebellious spark from this morning was gone. For the rest of the day (unless something unusual happened) Kate would once again be Steve's little pet.

So instead she smiled back and left the car with a scowl on her face. She waited until she was sure Steve was gone then spat on the ground several times in disgust. Why couldn't she just run? Why couldn't she work up the courage to tell someone? Why did Steve have to act so friendly one minute and then start molesting her the next minute?

Because despite the disgust she felt, the tiredness she endured and the constant anger at everything for leaving her this way, Kate was scared. She was still the same scared little girl who stood in her pyjamas and held her little stuffed bear as her step-father shoved his tongue down her throat for the first time.

And that fear had had nine years to work its way deep into her system. All she had now was the memory of her mother to keep her going.

Kate jumped slightly as the bell rang. She sighed and dragged open the door to the hustle and bustle of school life. Kids were laughing, messing around with each other and just generally being ordinary. They were unhappy that the summer was over and waiting to endure another school year.

What Kate wouldn't give to be on of those kids, she had no idea. As she headed towards home room she wondered what it would be like to worry about nothing but homework, who was dating who and finding time to see friends after school. She would obviously be a softer person and she wouldn't be alone all the time either, that was certain.

But she wasn't one of those kids. Sometimes she was sure she never would be. Sometimes she thought that it would never end and she would be Steve's slave forever.

All the time she was thinking she was unaware of the brown eyes following her to home room.

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_(Twenty minutes earlier)_

Rick examined himself in the mirror.

There was a large purple bruise forming over his left eye already, another one on the right side of his head and his lip was split. The cargo jeans and loose black hoodie he wore didn't rub against his other injuries but the wound on his side was throbbing gently and the rain outside meant his clothes would stick to him. Sitting in a sluggishly heated classroom all day was the least appealing thing in the world right now but he knew he was still going to go anyway.

"Yeah, I walked into a door," Rick said to his reflection.

"If that's your excuse I'll be expecting social services to be dragging me out of class at any moment today," Rick smiled and turned to see Alexis standing in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. She was trying to look disdainful but Rick could see the worry clouding her eyes. So he decided to cheer her up a bit as Alexis continued. "I thought you wanted to be a writer,"

He scowled at her and said, "Why don't you think up something better?"

Alexis frowned. She knew her brother didn't mean it so what was he doing? For a lack of a better response, she simply responded, "Tell them you were mugged," and as an afterthought she added, "I wouldn't keep my face like that if I were you. It'll get stuck,"

"Maybe you _should _keep your face like that. It might be an improvement if it gets stuck,"

They stared at each other coolly before laughing. Rick grimaced slightly and put a hand to his side. He didn't miss Alexis' worried glance. He shrugged and said, "I'm fine,"

"Suuure," the red-head replied with a raised eyebrow. Rick couldn't help frowning as she did so. "Anyway we're gonna be late for school,"

With rucksack in hand, Rick followed Alexis out of the apartment and couldn't resist what he said next. "How d'you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Raise only one eyebrow," Rick used his finger to push up one of his own. "D'you do weights with it or something?"

Alexis laughed.

Rick and Alexis had to walk to school since the bus didn't come by the red bricked building in which they lived. It didn't really matter since the middle school and the high school were both side by side and it was only a fifteen minute walk to each, maximum.

But the wound in Rick's side made it harder to walk than he thought it would and the rain wasn't helping. The old, battered raincoat he was wearing kept most of the rain out but was too thin to keep the heat in. Alexis supported him as best as she could but he was still exhausted by the time they finally arrived at school.

"Wait for me at the entrance after school, okay?" he asked. "You know where to go and all that to be registered?"

Alexis looked at Rick as he stood with a weak assuring smile on his face, clutching his side and shivering badly. This was her last chance. She could send him home right now, tell him he needed to rest and find a way to make him do what she wished she had the strength to make him do.

But she didn't.

Instead she nodded, smiled back and said, "Yeah I know, Ricky. See ya,"

She then gave him one last hug and watched with scared eyes as he turned and walked to the ugly, modern looking high school. With a final sigh, she turned and entered her own school and began scanning the crowds for people she could become friends with.

Meanwhile, Rick was still stumbling through the rain and also wishing he had just stayed home. It was much harder to walk without his sister and Rick half wondered if an over concerned teacher would call the cops and possibly even his father if he said he had been mugged. The brunette sighed. It was going to be a long day.

And it was about to be made even longer.

The engine still idling was what made him notice it. A shiny silver Volvo parked in a space right next to an entrance door.

The girl in the Volvo was obviously the one getting dropped off but the man (her dad? She didn't look like him) said something and she glanced nervously around the car park. Rick wasn't ever sure why he did what he did next. Instead of continuing to walk, he ducked behind another car and hid. For a couple of seconds he squatted down, balancing on a bumper which had stickers that actually made him cringe, and wondered what on earth he was doing. Tentatively he peeked around the car and what he saw made him want to be sick.

Right before his eyes he was seeing a sixteen year old girl being tongue kissed by thirty-something year old man with obvious disgust plastered over her features. Unable to tear his eyes away, Rick watched as the man pulled back and smiled at her. Even from the distance he was at, Rick could see the strain in the smile she shot back.

It must have satisfied the guy in the silver Volvo though because he let her leave and drove off. The girl watched him drive off before spitting against the wall several times. Rick wanted to go to her. He wanted to ask her if she was alright but something held him back. If something like that happened to him, he would be vomiting round about now. So if that girl was only spitting, did that mean this had been going on for a while? Did it mean… things had gone even _further?_

Rick knew that if anyone ever saw him being hit by his dad he would shove them up against a wall and tell them to keep their mouth _shut. _He couldn't risk being put into care and being separated from Alexis. He would hate it even more though, if someone came over and offered him pity. And what were the odds that this brand new school held someone abused just like him? That behind the constant learning and noise was someone who would understand him other than Alexis. Someone he could talk to. No, he didn't want to make an idiot of himself because he wanted a friend. He didn't need a friend. He needed to protect Alexis.

So he stayed where he was and only moved when the bell had rung and the girl had gone in. The world spun from a combination of blood loss, pain and what he had just witnessed. He was beaten by his dad nearly every night and had been for six years but what that man did… that was just plain disgusting. It was wrong, it was just… _so wrong. _

The girl went inside and Rick started to follow her. Quickly he realised that he needed to go to get his timetable and everything for the first day so he changed his course, albeit reluctantly, to match the sign that aimed to the main entrance. Try as he might though, he couldn't get the girl out of his head. Who was she? Why would someone do something like that to her? And why was she so familiar?

"Can I help you?"

'_Oops' _Rick had barely noticed passing through the double doors and into the well lit reception area that was too clean and too warm. The office was small; a little waiting area with padded chairs and a baby blue commercial carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls and a big clock ticking loudly. Plants grew everywhere as if there wasn't enough greenery outside. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of paper and brightly coloured sticky notes stuck to the front. There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a small, brown haired woman looking as bored as most of the teenagers in school would be. Still, she seemed nice enough.

"Uh, I'm Rick Castle," he informed her and immediate awareness lit up her eyes which clashed horribly with the confusion in her face. _'She's probably wondering about the bruises' _Rick realised.

"Yes, of course. The new boy," Rick fought to wince at her high voice. "Are you enjoying New York so far?"

No. "As much as I could, I guess… although I got mugged a couple of days ago," Rick responded nervously but she nodded her head satisfied. He watched as she dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents till she found the ones she was looking for.

"I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school," She pushed the papers across the counter for Rick and he examined them. Double English first today. Rick's favourite subject.

For the second time that day, the bell rung to signal the start of lessons and Rick glanced at the door that led to the rest of the school. It was so bland that it was actually slightly unnerving. It could have been the door to anywhere: a plane, a police station… a funeral.

"Will you be okay?" the woman asked sounding slightly worried. Rick wondered what expression he had on his face to make her sound that way. He threw the woman one last glance before plastering a fake smile and waving his hand casually.

"I'll be fine," he said before turning and walking into school.

Despite his earlier decision though, he still couldn't get the girl out of his head. As he clumsily weaved in between other students with one hand clutching his side and the other his papers, Rick couldn't help but hope she was in some of his classes.

So it was with a great amount of relief, mixed with a bit of surprise, that he finally walked into his English class to find the girl sitting alone at a desk at the back. What interested him most however was the little notebook she was scribbling in with a red pen. She didn't look up as Rick tried not to stare at her and she didn't acknowledge anyone else in the class. She simply continued to write and write in lines of red that covered the page all the way down to the bottom like rivulets of blood staining the paper.


	3. Tell Me I'm a Wreck

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 3:  
><em>- Tell Me I'm a Wreck -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>"What happened to him?"<p>

"Who even is he?"

"I heard he was in juvie for _stabbing _someone. That's why his face looks like that,"

"I heard he was dealing drugs and his family had to move so he didn'tget arrested,"

"I heard he stole a police horse and rode it through his old town _naked,"_

For the love of God, where did they come up with this stuff? It took every ounce of self-control Kate had left _not _to smack those kids upside the head and yell in their faces, "And who exactly did you hear this from? Santa Claus? And I suppose the Tooth Fairy was making your bed at the same time, hmm?"

It had always annoyed her when people made up rumours, especially about those who were new to the school and didn't have anyone to find comfort in. It was like a getting a kid a dog and then watching as he abused it because it walked on four legs instead of two. Just because it was a little bit different. Then the dog would alienate itself. It wouldn't come near people for fear of being hurt again and in the end it would end up scared, angry and completely alone.

But Kate didn't say anything out loud. Attention was bad. Attention brought possible friends, possible enemies and possible overly concerned people who would poke into her life and who knew what Alex would do about them? From what he had warned it certainly wouldn't be pleasant. However, she couldn't stop herself glancing to the top of the class to look at the 'dog' in question and felt… strange.

The new boy was talking to the teacher, a charming smile on his face that somehow worked despite the bruises and the fact that it was obviously faked. Mrs Freeman didn't seem to notice though and quickly motioned for him to sit in a seat with her own pleased little smile. Kate fought to not roll her eyes. The boy's eyes were scanning the classroom but didn't seem to register the various hostile whispers and looks, or more likely he was ignoring them, when his eyes suddenly fell on _her._

It had taken years but since she spent almost all of them alone, Kate had long since learned how to first judge a person from their eyes. Or at least she'd learned enough to know that eyes, contrary to popular belief, could always lie. But this boy… instantly Kate found herself lost in eyes as deep and as blue as the ocean. They were calm yet held so much pain and anger in them. They were filled with the want and need of love that happened all around him but he could never be a part of. They were so very, very lonely.

It was like looking in a mirror.

And suddenly Kate wanted to bee the one to rid him of those lonely eyes; those eyes that nobody deserved, except for herself.

But as quickly as he had look at her he turned again away as if embarrassed and headed to an empty desk next to the window, just a couple seats in front of her. For a couple of seconds Kate continued to stare at the back of his head that was covered in a mess of chaotic, amber brown hair and couldn't help but wonder about him. Who was he, really? Why did he have those bruises? Why did he look so nervous when he looked away? And why were his eyes so similar to hers?

It didn't exactly matter though. It wasn't like they were going to be friends or anything so she had no reason to be so intrigued. And really, why would he want to be friends with her? She was nothing more than Alex's pathetic sex toy. No-one in their right mind would want to be anywhere near her if they knew.

The lesson was starting. Mrs Freeman introduced the new boy (Rick Castle, huh?) and began explaining the course. Kate ignored her and continued writing in her book. How long had she had this little book for? Too long, Kate realised as she read the words scattered across the page in red ink.

_I'm worthless. Why am I here? I wish I would die. I'm so unclean I want to be clean. Why don't I just die? Who would care? I wouldn't. Nobody would. I'm a whore. Nothing. Useless. Insignificant. Worthless. Trash. No one will ever love me. Did I do something wrong? I'm horrible. I'm ugly. I'm disgusting. It's all my fault. It must be all my fault. I don't deserve this breath…_

On and on and on it went, stretching for pages, words she'd written in blood coloured ink. Nobody knew about her little book. Nobody knew it was filled with her heart's blood. Kate closed her eyes.

Yes, she had had this far too long.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Home time.

For most kids it was the best time of the day. They were finally free from the confines of the stifling classroom, the stress of thinking too hard for too long and the overbearing teachers ready to shriek at a moment's opportunity. Friends, TV, homework and dinner would fill up the remaining hours until bed and the routine would start all over again and again.

Kate wasn't most kids. She didn't belong here and sometimes, at night when trapped in the dark confines of her mind, she was sure she never would.

So it was with much more trepidation than every teenager around her that she headed to her locker to drop off her unwanted items and head off home for school.

Home. Was that really what she could call it? Wasn't home supposed to make you happy? Where you relax and have fun and have stupid conversations with your stupid friends about stupid things? Where you sleep and have dinner and it becomes a part of you that you always want to cherish? A place you always return to, a sanctuary, the only place you feel you could ever truly belong.

Yeah right.

Johanna Beckett died and took Kate's home with her. All that remained, to Kate's mind, was an empty, dark, silent apartment and behind every door was some new torture, some new 'game' Alex had cooked up that could break her altogether.

Locker 20. That was Kate's locker. It was the year 2000 when Alex had come into her life. Kate sighed as she turned the dial back and forth like she'd been doing it for months when in fact it had only been twice. Why did everything seem to remind her of _him? _She could be doing something completely different, something normal or something _fun. _Then she would notice the tiniest detail and Alex would be in her head. He had wormed his way into her life and now was steadily violating her own mind. God it was never going to end.

So lost in her thoughts, Kate nearly had a panic attack when a hand tapped her on the shoulder and a voice said, "It's Kate Beckett, right?"

For a fleeting – and infinitely perplexing – moment, Kate hoped it would be Rick Castle that was trying to speak to her. The very thought made the prospect of going home… going back to the apartment a little less horrifying. What was it with that boy?

Her hopes were dashed when she turned to see Josh Davidson grinning down at her like he owned the world. He probably thought he did. Quarterback of the school football team, tanned skin, dark brown hair cut short, light brown eyes and a slightly hard, narrow mouth. In short, he was the perfect target for fan girls of all description. Alex had warned Kate what would happen if she ever let another boy even touch her and she wasn't willing to call his bluff. She never would be.

"What do you want?" Kate replied flatly while closing her locker door.

"You don't need that tone, Kate. I was just wondering if you'd like to come out with me and the guys sometime," Josh said while flashing a startling white grin. '_He probably bleaches them' _Kate thought. She was suddenly very aware of the multitude of eyes glaring in her direction. Every girl in the corridor was probably wondering why Josh had picked her. She was nobody, a freak, and she didn't even like him for god's sake!

'_Maybe that's because I don't want to be another tick in his little book of "Girls to Be Fucked This Year"' _Kate thought bitterly. So she looked the boy straight in the eyes and simply said, "No."

From the way his mouth fell to the bottom of his feet, it was obvious he hadn't been expecting that answer. His light brown eyes seemed to darken slightly and Kate could feel something similar to claustrophobia creeping up on her. Josh was so close now. Somehow, without Kate noticing, his arm had stretched out around her so he was leaning on the lockers and effectively cutting off one route of escape. Slowly he leant in, like a cat preparing to pounce. He was so close that Kate could feel his breath against her face. The entire hall seemed to have silenced as everyone turned to watch the scene unfold. Their lips were almost touching. Kate hated the way she curled in to the lockers like they would protect her. If Alex saw this… it wasn't even worth thinking about.

Then Josh's face suddenly slid past hers so his mouth was level with her ear. Whispering so only Kate could hear, he said "You're a wreck Kate Beckett. Trust me, you'll be singing a different tunebefore long,"

He leant back and Kate let loose the breath she didn't even realise she was holding. Her vision seemed to blur slightly with relief while her heart thumped in her ears as though to reassure her she was indeed still alive. Josh flashed another grin at her before sauntering off down the corridor and Kate resisted the urge to strangle him. It was only now she realised that she had been imagining the strange silence that had settled over her ears when Josh had leant into her. People were still staring though.

Coming to terms with the fact that her blurry vision was in fact induced by tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, Kate quickly hoisted her bag further up her shoulder before heading in the opposite direction of Josh.

But what he said wouldn't leave her mind. It ate away at her from the inside and she had to wipe her face more than once to stop tears. However, it wasn't what he had said as much as the tone of his voice. Kate knew Josh wanted her. Her refusal only meant that desire was stronger. Now he would take her, whether she wanted it or not. She was sure of it. Kate turned into a small, and thankfully empty, corridor where she leaned against the wall and tried to control her breathing. Her right arm involuntarily grabbed onto her left and she squeezed it, swapping the pain and fear she couldn't control for a pain she could control, at least to some degree.

Was this really what God had intended for her? To be a sex toy to _every_ person that _felt_ like they had the _**power**_ to fuck her? Kate's finger nails were digging into her upper arms trying to pierce her skin. She took a deep breath and finally wiped away the tears on her face. Crying didn't help. Crying had never solved anything. So steeling her resolve and hoping Alex didn't comment on her red eyes, Kate walked outside to where Alex's car would be waiting to imprison her in a cell of glass and twisted metal once more. Every step seemed to bring another stare and somehow her mind turned to her little red book filled with her red writing.

She was filthy. She was a dirty fucking-whore. The way she looked must have screamed it. Alex knew it.

...and apparently so did Josh.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

The ancient redbrick building was thirteen stories of crumbling blood coloured stone with countless dirty windows. A wrinkly, kind old man sat at the receptionist's desk for most of the day, forever doing crosswords with his glasses sitting on the brook of his sweaty nose and wispy white hair lying in a messy heap on his head. On the opposite side of the lobby was a door with the word 'pool' stencilled over it in fluorescent lights. Although the conditions were mainly grimy, the pool itself was heated, well cleaned and well used.

Kate had lived there her entire life and hated everything about it. She hated the old man who smiled every time she went past, she hated the swimming pool and she hated every stupid person who lived there and didn't give a damn about anyone else.

But where else could she go? She had no other family and she didn't know if she'd be able to live a life on the streets. New York City wasn't exactly known for how safe and clean its streets were. It was likely she'd end up working on a street corner and it would be Alex all over again, only with different people. And she would get paid.

Alex surreptitiously steered Kate towards the elevator. He was far enough away so people wouldn't think oddly of it, but close enough so he could catch her if he ran. It was always like this when they were out in public. Kate didn't know why he bothered.

Once they were both safely enclosed in the elevator though, Alex dropped all pretence and pushed her against the wall. "I missed you, Katie," he whispered before crushing his lips against hers. She resisted the urge to bite down as his tongue invaded her mouth and began inspecting every inch of it. Underneath them, the lift moaned and creaked around them which covered Alex's moans. Kate could feel something long and hard pressing into her lower abdomen and fought the urge to throw up in Alex's mouth. The elevator let off a small 'ding!' as it reached the sixth floor and Alex pulled himself off of Kate with a lust filled grin covering his face. "Let's go," he murmured. It was supposed to be seductive. It made Kate feel even more nauseous.

It was with mixed emotions though that Kate got out of the elevator. One part of her was glad Alex had let her go so they could enter the apartment, but another had wanted the elevator ride to last a life time so they would never reach it. Then again, what would a lifetime in an elevator alone with Alex do to her? Kate didn't want to think about it.

"Why don't we go back to your room, Katie?" Alex murmured as he opened the door to the apartment.

Kate hated the way her step-father said that. It was as though they really were some happy couple or something. It didn't change anything though. She still obediently walked through the apartment that looked colourless due to the bland weather outside. Her mind seemed to have gone blank of its own accord, the rain drumming an echoing beat into her head.

Once they entered the room, Alex didn't wait. He shoved Kate up against the wall and his lips pressed up painfully against the teenager's while his tongue demanded entry. The brown haired teenager reluctantly complied and had to stop herself gagging once more as the taste of smoke violated her mouth along with the probing tongue intent on suffocating her. It was only natural reflex that made her push against him but Alex didn't seem to care. Instead, he released his lips from hers and dragged her over to the bed. The bed she found so much comfort in last night.

She was terrified of it now.

It was stupid. Every time Kate promised herself she wouldn't cry. Alex had barely started and she could already fear hot tears sliding down her cheeks. She hated this. She _hated _this.

"Please, don't!" she cried, unable to stop herself.

"Don't worry, Katie. It'll all be over soon," Alex laughed as he pulled down her jeans and her underpants leaving her exposed to the cold air. Quickly he ripped of his own trousers and before Kate's dazed and terrified mind could tell her to fight back, Alex had pinned her arms above her head and began lining up his rock hard member with her slit.

"No! Stop it! Stop it please!" Kate sobbed. Her cries echoed around the empty apartment before Alex pressed his lips to hers again, effectively shutting her up. He pulled back once more, the tip of his length resting at her entrance and whispered in her ear the same way Josh had at school.

"Don't scream. We don't want to get the neighbours involved, hmm?"

Then he slammed into her.

Kate bit her lip so hard it began to bleed in an effort not to make a sound. Nothing in the world was worse than this. Nothing was worse than being pinned down, violated in the most personal way possible and not even being able to express your agony. As Alex continued to thrust into her dry entrance, Kate felt darkness cover her eyes. It was excruciating. She couldn't help it and let out a whimper. Every instinct in her body screamed at her to fight back, to do something to stop the pain.

But she did nothing.

Sometimes she wondered if the reason she didn't stop him was because she had become used to it in some weird incest way. Deep down she knew it was simply because the rape would be ten times worse if she fought back, if that was even possible.

Kate didn't remember passing out on the bed as her step-father had his way with her. She never did. She only ever woke up feeling used, disgusting and worthless.

Well… she wasn't completely worthless.

She would always be her father's personal whore after all.


	4. Childish Dreams

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 4:  
><em>- Childish Dreams -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>Rick had told himself not to get involved with anyone else. Nobody else would understand and Alexis was more important than what he wanted anyway.<p>

But Kate Beckett… well she was one of those things that once you noticed her, you couldn't stop no matter how hard you tried. Like if you have a bruise on your arm and it isn't hurting that much but you hit it off of something and suddenly you're hitting it off of everyone and everything all the time.

And it was driving Rick crazy.

In English every time she spoke, which admittedly wasn't much, her words seemed to pierce through his daydreams even if it was just a one word answer. In the halls when switching classes, in math she sat two seats over and one seat in front, at lunch she sat on her own, her locker was next to the bathrooms and she had art when he had history, or at least that was the case on Mondays. It wasn't like he was trying to keep track of her but during that very first day of school he seemed to run into her _everywhere._

This might have been the reason he caught sight of her after the final bell had rung and everyone was hurrying through the rain soaked streets to cars, buses or what would be a miserable run home.

Rick was stumbling to the middle school where Alexis was waiting, hand surreptitiously holding his side when he happened to glance around and there Kate was. Her head was leaning against the window of the very same shiny Volvo Rick had seen her in that morning and she looked just as miserable. The car turned the corner and Rick caught sight of the man driving. The man said something and Kate replied with a small smile in his direction. A fake smile? Probably.

But it suddenly struck Rick how… _normal_ they looked. In fact, if he hadn't seen what happened in the car earlier, he probably would have thought they were just a regular family. Was it that easy to hide? Was that what people thought when they looked at his family?

Rick stopped walking and looked around, examining the various faces rushing past him and thinking. None of them knew. None of them knew what his father did every night. None of them knew what Kate Beckett's dad did every night, if he was correct about them. They had no idea he was living with a nightmare, a demon in the guise of a lowly human. Rick had been hiding his entire life but it was only now he realised that everyone he had talked to, everyone he had almost been friends with, every teacher he had been taught by… not one of them knew the truth.

"Rick!" He looked up to see Alexis running towards him. She stopped in front of him and asked, "Are you alright?"

Rick paused and glanced at the direction Kate had driven off in. Then he shook his head, water flying off of his face and hair in all directions, and smiled at his little sister. "Yeah, I'm good. You ready to go?"

Alexis raised an eyebrow. "I was gonna ask you that,"

"Actually I thought I'd wait here a little longer, you know, admire the way the rain slips through even the smallest gaps in my coat and somehow stays freezing despite my warm body," Rick replied sarcastically.

Alexis laughed before grabbing onto him and supporting him the same way she had that morning. His side wasn't hurting as much, but he would still have to be careful with it or it would open again. It would probably do that anyway with his father waiting in the shadows.

Rick sighed. He needed to stop thinking about Anthony every two seconds.

It seemed to take fifteen hours as opposed to fifteen minutes but finally the two siblings arrived at the red-bricked apartment building where they both lived. The lobby's floor was as wet as they were but the heat blasting in from the vents was a welcome relief to the chill outside. They passed the old man who sat at reception and seemed to have no other job other than to finish his crossword. He glanced up as the two teenagers walked across the dimly lit area and raised a hand in reply to Alexis' tentative wave. Rick ignored him. The old man was too nice to Anthony to be worth any kind of acknowledgement from Rick.

Although there was an elevator already on the ground floor, Rick and Alexis ignored it and headed to the doorway marked 'stairs'. Despite the various injuries he had sustained over the years, Rick almost never used the elevator. It wasn't because of the elevator's jerky movements, the terrible creaking that sounded like a monster in pain or the often talked about day that it would break and fall with someone trapped inside. It didn't stop anyone else using it after all. Why should it stop Rick? What Rick couldn't stand was the feeling he got every time he walked into one of those upright coffins. The inexplicable fear, the cold sweat, the stupid notion that the walls were closing in and wouldn't stop until he was crushed and nobody would even here him scream… that's what compelled him to use the stairs. Maybe that was another reason why he forced himself to school every day. Being cooped up inside apartment 7A all day… he wouldn't be able to stand it.

It was a difficult climb nonetheless and Rick was glad to see the end of it. Judging by Alexis' laboured breaths, she was too. They exited the stairwell to emerge into a dank, dimly lit corridor. The doors were all old and peeling paint and the thin blue carpet was coming away at the walls. On the other hand, the walls were thick so privacy was about the only thing the building had.

The door to 7A was the same as every other door. Olive green, old and worn and the dirty brass plate nailed to it showing the apartment number needed replacing. Rick hated the building. He hated how everything had to be the same: the same colour, the same material and the same brand. All that separated them was a number nailed to a doorway and what good was that? 7A… It might as well have said Kitchen Chair. Or Cellar Steps. 7A meant nothing, was nothing, just a means to separate the lonely lives that lived within the apartment from the lonely lives that lived within 7B or across the hall at 7D. In fact, to Rick, '7A' had become synonymous with suffering. It wasn't his home. He didn't have one.

And although his father wouldn't be home yet, the suffering didn't only come in the form of Anthony's fists.

Within the apartment was Rick Castle's step-mother and Alexis' biological mother: Michelle Castle. More often than not she could be found lying unconscious – practically comatose – on their moth eaten couch from a drug induced 'low'. Occasionally though, she would awake and seemingly think that all of this was a dream. Rick had had some weird dreams but he couldn't help but wonder what kind of dreams his step-mother had. One time he had come home to find her burning off parts of Alexis' hair. Another time she had been standing on the fire escape, arms spread like the famous pose from titanic and humming to herself. Rick had left her alone that time rather than risk further injury.

And when she didn't have her drugs she could be more twisted and vicious than Anthony. Why did it feel to Rick like everyone in the world was out to get him?

He glanced at Michelle as they passed, resentment coursing through his veins. She was supposed to protect them. Instead, she was passed out on the couch and wanted nothing but her beloved drugs. The amber haired boy felt his anger rise dangerously high and had to stop himself from marching over to his step-mother and punching her in the face.

But Rick wasn't like that. He wasn't his father. He never would be.

So over the years, as his anger at pretty much everything and everyone grew, Rick had learned a trick. When he started to feel his temper rising, when he felt that shake in the pit of his stomach, that feeling like an earthquake under the planet's crust, getting ready to spew blazing molten rock right up and out into space, he pushed down hard with his mind. He pushed down hard with an imaginary thick metal bin-lid and squashed the angry lava back down into his core. In his head he tried to see his lava cooling down and going dull red and then grey and clunky like in those pictures of the lower slopes of Mount Etna. Eventually he would make it go solid and cold.

The only problem with this was that several volcanos' worth of cold anger was knocking around inside Rick Castle. He walked around with an almost constant stomach ache. Even he didn't realise how heavy it made him.

There was one thing, however, that relieved the heaviness. A thing that he could lose himself in and forget he was Rick Castle. Where he didn't have to have his own thoughts or his own feelings and simply went wherever he was guided.

Books.

So once Rick had towelled off and re-applied his bandages, he peaked into Alexis' room and, with a rare, genuine smile, said, "I'm off to the library,"

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Rick loved libraries.

He loved the way they smelled; like dry paper and dust but with a hint of something else in the air as though the books were somehow leaking an odour of imagination and the need to be read.

The air was always welcoming, not oppressing, and it always seemed to be at just the right temperature to settle down in a chair and lose yourself in a book for a few hours. And yet, his most favourite thing about libraries was when you were hunting for a book through all the perfectly labelled shelves and the carefully organised novels and for no reason at all you would slip a book out of its place. Without knowing how, you could uncover a hidden masterpiece, a story that would touch you deeply or an adventure that would stay with you forever.

But nobody knew Rick knew these things about libraries and that was alright with him.

He didn't have to browse today though. A few days after they had moved to New York Rick had discovered an author called Christopher Brookmyre while looking for books about his favourite British spy. Someone had put the wrong book in the wrong place – and Rick loved it when that happened – and the title caught his eye immediately. Who called their book 'Attack of the Unsinkable Rubber Ducks'? And when it was about ghosts, no less?

Instantly Rick had lost himself in the sarcasm and world weariness the author seemed to carry and found himself wondering if he could write something like that, although less Scottish of course.

Rick had wanted to be a writer for as long as he could remember. He loved the way he could enrapture people just by stringing together the right set of words. He could make people weep, or cry with joy. He could change the way people thought forever.

He already knew he would be a mystery writer. Working out how to make the most ordinary of people into killers and then planning how they would kill their victims, how they would hide the evidence and how the police would dog their every step.

Yes, Rick constantly dreamt his name would be known throughout America one day as _the _Rick Castle, writer extraordinaire. He would buy his own house with his own rules and answer to nobody, only Alexis when she called from a sunny beach somewhere in the Mediterranean.

So with these happy thoughts in mind, Rick ignored the small voice in the back of his head telling him he was being a childish idiot and lost himself in the pages of his book.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

When Rick came home, he was more than relieved to find that the lights in the apartment weren't on. His father wasn't home yet.

Having done so enough times in the past to avoid injury, Rick manoeuvred his way through the almost pitch black living room and headed to his sister's room where a light was visible through the crack in the door. The wound in his side was starting to feel worse and the teenager had a sneaking suspicion the gash had reopened slightly.

Alexis was sitting on her bed and drawing what looked like a cat when he stumbled into her room. At least Rick thought it was a cat.

"Lex?" his voice was soft but easily carried in the almost silence of the apartment.

Alexis looked up and gasped in surprise at his soaking wet, shivering form. "Ricky… couldn't you have gotten a bus home? Jesus, are you- are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm..." Rick took one look at his sister's worried, sceptical stare and sighed. "I think we're gonna need the first aid kit again,"

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"Ah! Mind telling me when you realise that _hurts?"_ Rick gasped as Alexis dabbed at the broad wound on his ribs with antiseptic wipes.

"Just keep still," she replied gently. "All of your jerking around is making this harder than it should be,"

"My sister; tells it like it is," Rick chuckled painfully.

"Glad somebody's in the mood for jokes," she muttered. Rick glanced at Alexis' face and reached out to her. She flinched ever so slightly when his hand made contact and the older boy couldn't resist a grimace at the reaction. He knew his body still felt cold from his trip to the library but at least he was dry.

"Lex, what's wrong?" he whispered.

"What d'you think?" she responded incredulously. "Why… why can't you let me take a hit every now and again? You're already so hurt,"

Rick shook his head violently and had to force the bile that was rising up his throat down again. "No. As long as I'm here he isn't gonna lay a finger on you!"

"But-"

He reached out to his sister's shoulder and forced Alexis to look him in the eye. "They can do whatever they want to _me. _You deserve better,"

"And you don't?" she asked desperately and Rick knew he couldn't answer. No, he didn't deserve better. His father had taught him that at least. But Alexis didn't need to know. She _couldn't _know.

"Well, the way you're talking I think I deserve a softer coffee table," he said evasively with a weak smile that Alexis returned, if somewhat hesitantly. "I'm telling the truth. A softer coffee table and I wouldn't have this," Rick motioned to the wound in his side.

"He threw you into the coffee table?" Alexis stared at him in shock.

"I think he was aiming for the floor actually," Rick replied while trying to remember. "Doesn't really matter though,"

"I guess not…"

Alexis finished bandaging Rick and he lay back onto his mattress wishing he could sleep. But it was worse to be woken from a fist to the cheek than when expecting it and Rick knew his father would be back soon.

A shirt landed on his head and Rick glanced at his little sister. She shrugged and motioned for him to put it on so he obliged. Alexis knew best after all.

Rick made sure his shirt was sitting comfortably on his abused body while waiting for Alexis to ask about his 'okay-level'. She never got the chance. Both teenagers froze as the sound of a key being pushed into the apartment's lock reverberated through the air. Rick jumped to his feet and was on the floor a second later.

"Rick!" Alexis whisper-shouted as Rick fell heavily to the floor. "Don't get up so quickly!"

"Don't worry about me," he rasped out painfully. "Get into your room, lock the door, you know what to do,"

"But-"

"Lex," Rick gave Alexis a look he knew would make her listen. She helped him stand up and Rick watched, using the doorframe to support himself, as she hurried into her own bedroom. He didn't turn away until the audible _click _of the door being locked was heard and he shut the door to his own room.

He stumbled onto the bed and briefly closed his eyes, taking that moment to appreciate that his sister was safe. But Anthony was already in the apartment. Rick swallowed nervously before curling in on himself. It was horrible, but Rick found himself wishing Anthony would turn on Michelle that night. He had loved her for a while, but when the drug addiction started up she just became another one of Anthony's punching bags.

"BOY!" Anthony shouted as soon as the door to the apartment was closed. Rick cringed but otherwise didn't react. So much for that idea. He couldn't help but wonder if he could get out and escape. He knew it was a stupid thing to do though.

If he ran, Anthony would catch him and beat him worse. If he fought back, Anthony would easily overpower him and beat him ten times worse. So instead Rick hoped the beating wouldn't be so bad tonight. But when his 'father' stormed down the corridor and banged his door open with such force it rebounded of the wall with a _screech _from the hinges, he knew it would be so bad.

"You worthless piece of distended rectum," he hissed. Anthony could be quite imaginative. "These hinges still creak,"

Rick didn't reply. He knew the beating would be worse. Everything he _did _seemed to make it worse. Anyway, Rick liked his hinges to squeak. It warned him if someone was coming in nice and early.

"I _said _these hinges still SQUEAK!" the last word was emphasised by a shout. And then he grabbed Rick's arm and threw him across the room as easily as a rag doll.

Pain exploded in Rick's head and he moaned as his back hit against the wall. Before he could recover, Anthony smashed his foot into Rick's stomach and he yelped before curling into the fetal position to protect his wounded body.

But Anthony just kept kicking and kicking, all the while shouting abuse.

As the pain escalated to the peak of what Rick could endure he felt blackness clouding the edges of his vision. He welcomed it. He fell into it.

And within seconds he was plummeting deep into the welcoming abyss of unconsciousness.


	5. Savin' Me

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 5:  
><em>- Savin' Me -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>Rick had English before lunch the next day.<p>

He had chosen a seat at the window because it overlooked the middle school. While he couldn't see Alexis, it was nice to feel as though he was watching over her. Just like yesterday, however, a miniature version of Kate Beckett seemed to be tapping him on the shoulder and drawing his attention to her for. Every. Single. Thing. She did. Thankfully the teacher was demanding attention so he could concentrate on her for a few minutes at least.

"Alright class!" Mrs Freeman called out. She was a good teacher, not to strict but still demanded attention and made complicated things seem simple. It was a rare skill, but a very useful one for teaching. "For your next assessment we're going to do a piece of writing! Fun right?"

The class groaned in response. Mrs Freeman laughed. "I knew you'd say that. So, just to refresh your memories, you can do five kinds of writing: reflective, personal, imaginative, discursive and persuasive. I will give you the option of imaginative, personal or reflective this time. Once you do this essay, there will be two more I will grade you on. You can do another personal, reflective or imaginative but your third piece must be discursive or persuasive – or vice versa - and then the writing part of your English grade is over, clear?"

A general murmur of 'yes's echoed around the room mixed with many nodding heads.

"Good!" Mrs Freeman exclaimed. "Now, because it's the start of the year and you're all brain dead from the holidays, I thought it would be good if this time around we could read each other's essays before we hand them. You'll have to do it outside of class though since we have Shakespeare to get down to,"

A pause of silence then somebody called out, "Can we pick who we work with?"

"Sorry, Don. I don't want people messing around with this so I will pick. Or rather, the register will," Mrs Freeman said, while brandishing a piece of paper with all of their names on it like a knife. She seemed far too cheery for Rick's liking, but on the bright side, she was letting him write two imaginative stories that year. It his old school, the teacher felt they didn't have enough 'experience' with creative writing and prohibited it.

"Right!" Mrs Freeman brought Rick out of his various story ideas and something in his head clicked. Rick Castle. Kate Beckett. The register was being used. Castle. Beckett. Would they be partners? Rick couldn't decide if it was a bad thing or not.

"First two, Jamie Anderson and Danny Baxter," Somebody cheered and Rick glanced over to see two boys high fiving each other. "Alright boys, next two are… Kate Beckett and Richard Castle,"

Rick's stomach did a somersault then dropped out of his body all together. The teacher had already moved on so he glanced back to where he knew Kate sat and their eyes met. He gave her a small, tentative smile. She didn't return it. Instead, she closed the little book he had seen her writing in yesterday and averted her eyes.

When Mrs Freeman had finished her list, she told everyone to get into their pairs and suddenly the room came alive with a flurry of movement. Rick glanced around again to see that Kate was making no effort to move so he swallowed, picked up his chair and headed towards the girl's desk.

"Hey," He said when he reached her. "I'm Rick."

"Yeah, I know," Kate replied and Rick felt his face go red. _'Smooth, real smooth'_

He sat beside her. The awkwardness in the air was almost tangible. Rick edgily glanced around the classroom looking for something to say when Kate blurted out, "How did you get those bruises,"

Rick's stomach seemed to come back but only to make himself feel ill. "I got mugged… then walked into a door,"

Kate finally looked up at him and something inside Rick screamed 'Yes!'

"A door?"

The disbelief in her voice almost made Rick cringe but he soldiered on. "It was a very hard door," he replied with a shrug.

Kate stared at him for a couple of seconds before a small snort escaped her nose and she shook her head.

"What?" Rick asked with a small smile of his own.

"Nothing," the brown haired girl replied. "I just… did the door fight back?"

Rick's grin grew wider. So maybe Kate Beckett did have a playful side. "No. I just walked into it about three times. I'm not very coordinated,"

With this comment, Kate began giggling. It was strained though. Almost as if she wanted to laugh but at the same time she couldn't. Covering her mouth, she stopped laughing and frowned. "Look, Rick… I don't… my step-dad- I mean my dad… he isn't too fond of me hanging around with other boys…"

"What dads are?" Rick asked, his smile disappearing as well.

Kate shook her head. "I don't know to be honest… But my dad will completely freak if he even sees me with you,"

Rick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I don't want to risk my dad seeing us together and seeing as how we have to read each other's essays out of class… is it okay if we don't do this whole partner thing at all?" Kate spoke quickly. It was like she was trying to get a bad taste out of her mouth.

Rick looked at her while biting his lip. If he had any doubts about what her step-dad was doing to her, they disappeared there and then. What was he supposed to do though? What would she do if he told her what he suspected? He couldn't do that to her.

So he nodded his head and said, "Yeah. Yeah, whatever,"

The rest of the lesson passed in more awkward silence where Rick jotted down a few ideas for his story and Kate doodled absently. His thoughts were half-hearted though and he knew none of them would be in the final draft. It was with a great amount of relief that Rick and Kate parted ways when the bell for lunch rang and headed to the lunch hall by separate routes.

Despite Kate's words to Rick, neither of them could have known she would be forgetting them soon due to the incident about to occur.

Like yesterday, Rick saw that Kate was sitting alone at her own table and he wondered if he should go sit with her. He wanted to, but he knew he wouldn't be able to stand the awkwardness they had shared in English so he scanned around to see if there were any other seats available. He didn't bother looking for anyone who might invite him to sit down. But it was while he was looking around that he spotted Josh Davidson strutting across the room like he owned it and heading straight for Kate.

Although Rick had only been at the school for a day and a half, he already knew about Josh. Everyone did. What really peaked Rick's interest was the fact that everything he had heard so far was good with only the occasional whisper of a date gone wrong or a loss of temper in public, but nothing with any real malice to it. Everyone seemed to be on Josh's 'side', like he was always in the right and any other party involved was the one to blame for any mishaps. More than once however, Rick had caught a girl glancing at the group talking about Josh and all she had was disgust in her eyes. Obviously Josh wasn't the perfect student he made himself out to be. So what was he hiding?

Curiosity got the better of Rick and his eyes focussed on the quarterback as he reached Kate's table. Vaguely he registered he wasn't the only one now looking in their direction but he was more interested in Kate. Josh was speaking to her but she wouldn't look at him and her answers were short, only one or two words each.

Josh's body language became subtly intimidating; the way he stood over her, one arm on the table to block her exit spoke of nothing less than ill intentions. Rick seemed glued to the spot with his eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before him. Josh was obviously angry now but Kate continued to stare at the table and appeared completely uninterested in the boy looming over her.

'_It's not my business' _Rick scolded himself. _'You don't need to get involved, somebody else will do something, don't get involved…'_

Despite the mantra echoing around his head, Rick found himself moving towards the two teenagers. Within seconds he was close enough to hear the conversation and the annoyance lacing Josh's every word. Something a random girl had said yesterday came back to Rick as he moved even closer.

_What Josh Davidson wants, Josh Davidson gets._

"Just one lunch time, sit at our table and be somebody rather than a pathetic loner," Josh was saying.

"No," Kate replied, her voice devoid of almost any emotion.

Josh's glare intensified and without warning he grabbed Kate's arm and yanked her out of her seat. Rick saw the way Kate bit her lip as if to stop herself from making any sound of pain. It was something Rick had done himself far too many times. A cry of pain was a survival instinct; a way to let others know that you needed help. But letting people know you needed help also brought unwanted attention.

Kate didn't want saving.

But Rick didn't have time to force his anger down as Josh's next words registered in his brain. "You don't need to fight, Kate. You might even like it,"

Before his mind had caught up with his body, Rick had suddenly grabbed Josh's shoulder and was squeezing it as hard as he could. Josh's head whipped round and he let go of Kate so he could focus on Rick instead. Rick did his best not to waver under the taller boy's gaze and said as boldly as he could manage, "She said no. Why don't you leave her alone?"

Josh raised his eyebrow before jerking his shoulder and making Rick lose his grip. It was obvious the older boy was ten times stronger than him. What the hell was he doing?

"What are you doing?" Josh snarled. Apparently Josh was wondering the same thing, Rick realised with a small amount of amusement. That didn't change the fact the teenager was getting ready to squash Rick like a bug. "Who the hell are you anyway?"

With his mind still reeling from what he had done so far though, it didn't have much control over his mouth. Rick smirked involuntarily and replied, "I'm the new boy. You know the one who was sent to juvie for stabbing someone?" Rick had dredged up the rumour from some obscure part of his mind and had spoken it before he knew what he was saying. _'Fuck, what am I doing?'_

Josh's eyes narrowed. He seemed unsure about the scrawny sixteen-year old in front of him which was a first for Rick. Then again, most people didn't think he had stabbed someone. The quarterback motioned to his face and said, "That's where you got the bruises?"

Rick should have nodded. Rick should have said 'yes' in a menacing tone and Josh, obviously not wanting to have anything to do with a bona fide knife wielding maniac, would have stepped down to find easier prey. Half the student body would be terrified of Rick but it wasn't like he would care. Kate would be safe – saf _er_ – and Josh would hopefully leave her alone.

But Alexis had always told him his mouth would get himself into trouble and he was about to prove her right.

Out of the corner of his eye Rick could see Kate staring at him in shock and… gratitude. Maybe that's what inspired him to say what he said next. "Actually your mom gave them to me last night. Be sure to thank her for a wild night the next time you go home to breastfeed and pick up your allowance,"

Childish? Very. But it was still high school and the more childish the insult, the more effective it would be.

This didn't stop Rick from openly wincing at the fury now etched upon every line of Josh's face. Half of the lunch hall had gone silent and the rest soon followed to watch the two teenagers as they stared at each other. Rick wanted to run but he couldn't move. Every part of his body was screaming at him for being a complete _idiot. 'What happened to not drawing attention to yourself?'_

Rick knew what the real conundrum was though: why was he doing this for a girl he'd barely met?

'_Because we're the same'_

The silence seemed to stretch on for an eternity when really it was only a second or two. During this time, Josh had curled his fist, drawn his arm back and now proceeded to punch Rick in the face.

Rick gasped as he spun to the ground and landed on his back. Black dots erupted in front of his vision. It was like being beaten by a much smaller version of Anthony. Josh stormed over to him and before he could catch his breath or curl in on himself, the older teen had stamped on Rick's abdomen.

The black dots turned to splodges and obscured his vision altogether as pain coursed through his body mixed with confusion. Josh had hit him hard but not that hard, so what…?

Realisation struck Rick like a brick. The wound in his side. By some miracle it hadn't reopened the night before but Josh had hit it dead on. Rick wanted to scream in agony but he needed all of his breath to get more oxygen into his lungs. Instinctively his hands pressed into his side and despite the fact he was barely conscious, Rick could feel his palms dampen against his shirt. Either he was sweating far more than what was healthy, or he was bleeding again. It was probably the latter.

The room began to swim back into his vision and with it came Josh's laughter ringing in his ears. "Oh c'mon! I barely touched you!"

Rick coughed and tried to sit up. He needed to get out of there before somebody saw the blood. He jerked violently when a hand fell onto his shoulder but was surprised to find Kate Beckett's emerald green eyes gazing at him and filled with worry. The same eyes moved down to the wound in his side and her entire body tensed when she saw the sanguine fluid staining Rick's shirt.

His vision was starting to falter again but Rick stayed conscious long enough to see Kate's horror filled gaze before someone started screaming.

And then he passed out.

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Kate sat outside the medical room shivering and with her arms wrapped around her body. She wasn't exactly sure how she had convinced the nurse to let her wait for Rick but she was here now. And she was worried.

Josh had made him bleed, badly it seemed and Kate knew that being kicked wouldn't make you bleed like that. He had to have an injury already. Come to think of it, the last couple of times she had seen Rick he had been holding his side. If it was so bad he had to hold it the way he did, why were his parents letting him come to school? Then Kate remembered the way he had looked at her yesterday with those lonely blue eyes and a thought hit her.

Were his parents the ones who put that gash there? And if so, were they responsible for the other bruises as well?

Kate felt a bubble of joy and relief swelling in her chest and swiftly moved to burst it. It was wrong to be happy about that. And what were the odds that there was another person at the school like her? It was also very unlikely that his father did… _that _to him. Rick wouldn't want to be friends with someone like her if he knew what Alex did to her.

So what was she doing sitting outside of the medical room waiting to see if he was alright?

Kate was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Stewart Wards, the school guidance councillor, coming out of the medical room. A shadow fell across her and she looked upwards while standing up as quickly as she could so she could run if she needed to. She cursed herself inwardly when the councillor raised an eyebrow at her reaction and motioned for her to sit again.

Stewart – he hated it when students called him 'Mr Wards' – was renowned throughout the school for having knowledge of the student body that only another pupil could have. There were some rumours going around that he had snitches, but when asked he simply said, "It isn't that hard to find out what's going on. The other teachers could do it to but it isn't their job to worry about you, it's mine,"

So Kate knew that Stewart would know about Josh and would understand what had happened. It wouldn't be fair if Rick got into trouble.

As Stewart sat down, Kate felt her eyes wander to the scars that ran down the man's left cheek. Again there were rumours about it, but nobody really knew for sure how he had got them.

"Now, Kate," Stewart began, his voice kind and soothing. "Why don't you tell me what happened because from what Josh has been saying – he's in the principle's office right now, don't worry – but from what I hear Rick Castle just wandered up to him and started a fight for no reason. Is that true?"

Kate swallowed and shook her head. Stewart nodded and then asked, "Well what did happen?"

Kate glanced down at her lap and started fidgeting with her hands. As she spoke though, her voice grew stronger. Stewart was a good person, he wasn't going to judge her… she hoped.

"I was sitting in the lunch hall and Josh came over to me… and started asking if I wanted to sit with him. You know what he's like though, right? You know he's just trying to get every girl in the school to prove that he can," Kate said bitterly.

Stewart nodded. "I've hear the rumours. So what happened next?"

"Well I said no and Josh… wasn't very happy about that. He kept telling me that I should just do what he said and stop being such a… depressed loner," Kate glanced up quickly but Stewart was simply looking at her with innocent curiosity. "Well… he grabbed me and… and then Rick appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Josh's shoulder and told him to back off,"

"And Josh wasn't too happy about that?" Stewart asked sounding – weirdly – as if he was amused.

Kate threw him a confused look before responding, "Yeah… he asked who the hell Rick was, I mean Rick's new here and he isn't a girl so of course Josh wouldn't know, but anyway. Rick told him that… well, have you heard some of the rumours?"

"I believe the one Rick used portrayed him as some kind of knife wielding maniac," Yes, Stewart definitely sounded amused.

"Yeah and Josh believed him because… I don't know actually," Kate realised. "I guess the bruises on his face made him look more dangerous than… why did Rick move here? I know it's not my business but…"

"Apparently his dad got offered a new job, a better job, and he took it. Although, why he though being a dishwasher at a local restaurant was better than being a mechanic I don't think I'll ever know,"

Kate frowned at Stewart's tone. "You think he was lying?"

Stewart's gaze hardened slightly and he raised a hand to rub the scars on his cheek. "Yes I do," he finally replied. "But I want to talk about Josh just now. What happened after Rick told Josh about his supposed stabbing?"

"Well Josh asked if Rick got the bruises on his face from juvie and Rick said… well…" Kate was startled to find she was trying hard not to giggle. How did Rick Castle do this to her? "It was childish but Rick said that Josh's mom gave them to him and the implication was that he got them while… you know…"

"Well…" Stewart said chuckling. "We can't say that Josh wasn't provoked,"

Kate bit her lip then glanced at Stewart who seemed to be examining her in some way. It made her feel like a bug under a microscope. A few seconds passed in silence before Kate asked quietly, "Is Rick okay?"

Stewart seemed pleased with her question and nodded before saying, "As good as he could be. He won't need to go to hospital or anything but…" Stewart paused as though contemplating whether or not to elaborate on his 'but'. Eventually he said, "There are some… other bruises on his person that couldn't be from the fight and I'm sure you'll have realised by now that Josh couldn't have made a gash in Rick stomach by standing on him,"

Kate didn't reply. Her voice seemed to be stuck in her throat. A tiny voice in her head was whispering to her _'Get out of there. Now. Get out. He knows, he must know…'_

"I've been meaning to talk to you for a while Kate," Stewart continued. "I understand you don't have many friends?"

Kate shrugged and replied, "There isn't anyone I want to be friends with,"

Stewart accepted her answer with a slight tilt of his head then asked, "Are you becoming friends with Rick? As I understand you're partners for an English project,"

"Mrs Freeman used the register… and I don't know if I'll have time to see Rick anyway," Kate forced her brain to get in working order. She was in dangerous waters then and she knew it.

"It's only the second day of school. You can't have that much homework and your essays aren't due for two weeks," Stewart continued curiously. "Surely you won't be working all the time,"

"My step-dad…" Kate cursed herself and quickly lied. "I do a lot of chores and stuff. And he always takes me out on weekends,"

Stewart sighed and stood up. For a second Kate thought he was going to go but instead the councillor stretched and walked to the other side of the corridor. His footsteps echoed through the small hall where the medical room was situated. There were no classrooms nearby, only a handful of storage cupboards and a toilet in case someone _really _felt sick. It was just Kate and Stewart. Nobody else would come.

But now that Stewart wasn't as near to her Kate felt more relaxed and less like she was being scrutinized intently. She watched as Stewart turned and leant against the opposite wall, his arms crossed and an unreadable look on his face. "Look, Kate. I've been a councillor for a long time now. I've seen bullies, shoplifters, kids who really were sent to juvie and kids who alienated themselves for the same reason you have. Do you know what this reason is?" Kate mutely shook her head and Stewart sighed. "No, you do and I know you do."

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed again. "I can't do anything if you won't do anything but let me give you some advice," he pointed to the medical room door. "Rick is a rare find. I've read the reports from his previous school and the only thing the teachers were concerned about was his lack of friends. Now, bad things happen to everyone, some more than others and different people have different reactions. Some become tough, they take their anger out on others to make them feel like their worth something. Some go insane and many even lose themselves completely,"

"Why are you telling me this?" Kate whispered.

"Because Rick is one of those very few people who see the worst of humanity and all it does it make them kind," Stewart said with a shrug.

Kate shook her head. "What makes you think you know that?" she said. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want anybody. She just wanted to be left alone. How was Stewart being so nonchalant about this whole thing?

"We're the same," Stewart replied. He reached up and ran a finger of his scars again. "My dad this to me when I was thirteen, nearly poked out my eye with a broken beer bottle. But I knew it wasn't my fault because I had friends to tell me so,"

Kate stared at the man. It was all happening so fast. Two days ago Kate was ready to give up on life. Then Rick Castle came along. She didn't even know him, hell she didn't even want to know him. But somehow… somehow Stewart had known there was a small part inside of Kate that was tired of being alone.

"I'm not asking you to become friends with him overnight because that isn't fair," Stewart admitted. "But Rick just needs someone to talk to. Someone who can understand him… someone clean,"

The last word struck Kate like a bullet and before she could stop herself Kate shook her head and said, "But I'm… I'm not…"

"Give him a chance, Kate. Just a small chance," Stewart coaxed.

Before Kate could respond though, the door at the end of the hall opened and Josh came through followed by the principal. Kate glanced at Stewart and saw the annoyed look on his face but she said nothing and turned to look at Josh.

It was surprising to see that, for once in his life, Josh seemed unsure of himself. He approached Kate slowly as though he was afraid she might blow up in his face. Who knew? Depending on what he said next, Kate might just have done that.

"Kate… I'm sorry about what I did earlier," he said while scratching the back of his head awkwardly. He looked about eleven years old. What had the principal said to him? It didn't matter though. Kate knew this was wrong.

So she simply shrugged and with a confidence she didn't realise she had said coolly, "It isn't me you should be apologising to,"

Right on cue, Rick Castle burst out of the medical room and would have fallen flat on his face if Josh hadn't been there to catch him.

Stewart grinned but it was the principal who joked, "Nice catch, quarterback,"

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Rick awoke in an unfamiliar room that was far too white.

He groaned and raised a hand to caress his thumping head while he tried to recall what happened. Was he in hospital? No that wasn't right. He had been at school… it was lunchtime and then…

The memories came back to Rick and he groaned. "You're a bloody idiot, Rick Castle," he muttered under his breath.

"I see you're awake,"

Rick's head snapped round to see a raven haired woman looking at him with dark grey eyes. He removed his hand from his head and was about to ask where he was when he noticed that he was shirtless. "Uh… where's, my shirt?"

The woman raised her eyebrows before turning and picking up the light blue shirt he had been wearing earlier. Rick opened his mouth to ask for it back when he noticed the blood stain on it and slowly shut it. He then glanced down to see fresh bandages around his middle and suddenly felt very exposed. Every bruise, every scar was now open for the woman in front of him to see. It wasn't right. They were his bruises, his scars and he had a right to decide if people could see them or not.

"I'm the school nurse, Ms Petrelli," The woman explained while opening a drawer and taking out a polo shirt with the school logo on it. She handed it to him and waited while he pulled it on. "That's a nasty cut you have on your stomach,"

Rick said nothing as he adjusted the shirt comfortably on his body. He didn't have anything to say.

The nurse sighed. "Rick, the councillor would like to see you. He's outside but he'll be in in a minute,"

"I'm fine," Rick snapped. At the nurse's affronted look Rick painted an apologetic look on his face. "Look I don't need someone poking around my head. I got mugged; it's no big deal,"

"Must have been a very violent mugging," the nurse replied. "Did he have a knife?"

"No… I fell into a coffee table," Rick replied edgily.

Ms Petrelli nodded. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Although, I will have to call your parents if you want painkillers,"

Rick had the weirdest feeling that the nurse was trying keep him there. He just wanted to go back to class. He didn't want to talk to a councillor and risk slipping up. So he swung himself off of the bed he was lying on and stood up without answering her. The nurse stepped forward concerned as he swayed slightly. The world seemed to be swimming around him as his head felt like a beatnik was playing the drums inside it.

"Come on now, Rick. Just sit down for a moment," the nurse said soothingly. It might have worked too if she hadn't put a hand on his arm. Rick started violently and jerked himself away from her. Ms Petrelli stared at him. Rick swallowed and shook his head.

"I-I need to get back to class," he stuttered.

"Rick wait-"

But Rick was already out of the door. He had time to register four people in the corridor before the world seemed to spin in several different ways. He stumbled and almost fell but a strong pair of arms caught him and hoisted him upright.

The world came back into focus just in time for Rick to hear the principal saying, "Nice catch, quarterback,"

Rick pulled himself upright and caught sight of a dark haired man with scars on his left cheek motioning for the nurse to go back into her room. He glanced back to see Ms Petrelli nod mutely and then close the door. There was an awkward silence where the three students tried not to look at each other before the principal clapped his hands and said, "Well, Josh I believe you have something to say to Rick,"

'_They're treating us like we're six-years old' _Rick thought bitterly but he instinctively glanced towards Josh. Judging by the look on the older boy's face he was thinking the same think as Rick. All the same he turned to Rick and said, "Yeah I'm sorry… whatever,"

"Don't worry about it," Rick muttered.

"Well," the principal said with a nod. "Josh you can head back to class and _don't_ miss your detention after school. Stewart, I believe you want to talk to these two?"

The man with the scars on his cheek – Stewart – shook his head. "No. I've already said what I needed to say," Rick frowned in confusion. Stewart hadn't said anything. But then he caught sight of Kate's face and realised what Stewart must have been talking about.

The principal frowned but nodded. "If you're sure,"

Stewart nodded and looked straight at Kate. "I'm sure,"

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Rick was on his way to meet Alexis when school had ended and thanking god that it wasn't raining when he heard someone calling his name. Confused, he turned around to see Kate Beckett walking towards him.

After the principal and the councillor had dismissed them, Kate and Rick had gone their separate ways to class without saying anything. Rick had just assumed that nothing would change. Maybe they would talk, but become friends?

But here Kate was, coming up to him at the end of school. Why?

She reached him and glanced around edgily. "Look I don't have a lot of time. I'm walking home because it's isn't raining but if I'm home too late…"

Rick glanced around as well to see Alexis coming towards him so he said, "Look, it's fine. And we don't have to be partners for the English thing. Just don't mention this to my little sister, okay?"

Kate frowned and opened her mouth to ask something but Alexis interrupted her when she called, "Hey Rick, are you okay?"

Rick smiled at her and asked, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Alexis glanced at Kate and said, "I heard something happened at the high school. Something about a fight?"

"What makes you think I was involved?" Rick asked genuinely confused.

Alexis pointed to a bit of white material showing from under Rick's black hoodie. "You're wearing a different shirt,"

Rick glanced down at it and opened his mouth, waiting for a lie to come to his aid but when he came up empty he simply chuckled softly. "Yeah…"

Kate was still hovering awkwardly at the side so Rick quickly said to Alexis, "Could you give us a moment,"

Alexis glanced at Kate again and a knowing smirk spread across her face. She waved a hand at Rick's questioning look and replied, "Sure, don't be too long though,"

"You have a little sister?" Kate asked and watched her run off. Rick nodded then turned to her.

"You want to ask me something?"

"Yeah…" Kate swallowed before continuing. "Look, I know what I said earlier but… maybe we could be partners for this English thing. We just need to be careful about it, yeah?"

"Careful how?" Rick asked.

"Well, my step-dad is going to a meeting tonight and won't be back until late so… maybe we could get started? I could come over to your place-"

"That's probably not a good idea," Rick interrupted. Sensing another bout of awkwardness approaching, he quickly added on, "But there's a library a couple of streets away from where I lived. I could tell you how to get there,"

Kate nodded and a small smile crept across her face. She looked… excited. And Rick started feeling excited too. "So," he asked. "Where d'you live?"

"It's this red-bricked building, thirteen floors high and… why are you looking at me like that?" Kate asked when Rick's shocked expression appeared. Her own expression turned shocked when Rick continued her sentence.

"And there's a pool and a really old guy at reception who just sits and does crosswords all day?" Kate nodded mutely and Rick almost began laughing. A smile spread across his face and he asked, "What apartment d'you live in?"

"6A," Kate responded with her own smile. Rick really did begin laughing now. "What?"

"I live in 7A," he responded with a crooked grin. Kate shook her head.

"That's way too weird,"

Rick shrugged. "Maybe it's fate,"

Kate's expression darkened slightly. "I don't believe in fate," Rick's own smile disappeared. For a second they stood awkwardly before Kate said, "So, the library?"

"What? Oh, yeah of course…" He gave her directions, they set a time and then they quickly parted ways. Rick sighed as Kate hurried off and shook his head. How did things always end up awkward between them? But at least they were talking. And now he was seeing her tonight. It was nothing more than an English essay but Rick felt elated all the same.

It was only as he was walking to get Alexis and he stepped on it that Rick noticed a little red notebook on the ground. Rick picked it up and opened the first page. Surprise coursed through him when he saw Kate's name written in red ink on the first page. He instantly wanted to read it but at the same time he knew it wasn't his business. He could just give it to her when they saw each other tonight.

But the entire walk home Rick could feel the notebook burning a hole in the pocket he had placed it in.

**I live in Scotland and I don't know how American schools work. We have to have a folio for English. In the folio we have two writing pieces: a W1 piece, and W2 piece. A W1 piece must be a discursive or persuasive essay. A W2 piece must be personal, reflective or imaginative. Pretty sure nobody gives a damn but there you are.**


	6. Just Friends

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 6:  
><em>- Just Friends -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>Rick slowly stood up, testing his body and making sure the world wasn't going to start spinning again. Doing nothing but lying on his bed for a couple of hours had done him some good though. While the wound in his side still hurt, the nurse had properly treated and bandaged it far better than Rick or Alexis ever could. The rest of his body was sore, but he could walk and he could breathe. As long as he didn't overdo anything he could be fine within a few weeks.<p>

Unfortunately he didn't have a few weeks.

The teenager sighed as he stretched his muscles and carefully rotated his shoulders while pacing around the room. It was nearly half five which was when he and Kate had agreed to meet. That's what he should have been concentrating on.

But the little red notebook that was still in his jacket pocket, the jacket that was hanging on the cupboard, the cupboard that was about three feet away from him now… Rick shook his head and angrily turned to walk in the other direction. It wasn't his business what was written in that book. More importantly, if he read it he could ruin what was happening between him and Kate. Sure he had originally though that he didn't need friends, but now that the prospect of one was sitting right in front of him? Rick knew he wouldn't turn it down. He wouldn't be able to.

So why would he want to risk that by reading a stupid little book that could contain anything?

Rick groaned when he found himself in front of his jacket again without even realising he had been heading in that direction. What really irked him was that he knew the answer to the question without even thinking about it. He wanted to understand Kate Beckett. He wanted to know her hates and fears, what made her happy, what made her sad and what was so _gorram _important that she had to constantly write in that little notebook of hers.

Alexis was in her room getting her homework finished nice and early as she always did, his step-mother was still on the couch – although Rick had noticed needles on the coffee table that hadn't been there before – and Anthony was at work. No-one else would know. Rick found himself staring at the pocket with the notebook in it and clenched his teeth. It was wrong. He shouldn't read it. He shouldn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't…

Rick swore before reaching into the pocket and bringing out the notebook. He sat down on his bed again and held the offending item in front of him while breathing heavily. For a few seconds he stayed like that, perfectly still, while a battle raged inside of him. Finally, he swallowed, bit his lip and opened the notebook.

०౦ംഠ०҆'˚'҅०ം◦∙ × ∙◦ം०҆'˚'҅०౦ംഠ०

Kate glanced around nervously as she entered the library. Fortunately there was no-one there that she knew. Unfortunately, there was no sign of Rick.

For a couple of seconds she hovered awkwardly in the door way and wondered what she should do. She could go outside and watch for Rick, but the warmth of the building was too comforting to turn down so she moved further into the large room. Rather than stand or sit at one of the tables and feel awkward, Kate instead headed towards the shelves that were packed full with books. She ran her hand over the signs – some rough, some smooth – and pretended to be looking for something when in fact her mind was on Alex. As always.

He hadn't appeared as if he suspected anything when he left just after she came home. Kate hadn't exactly acted differently. She was inexpressibly glad that he hadn't taken advantage of her though. Kate knew she wouldn't have shown up at the library if he had. All the same, her step-dad had made it perfectly clear what he was planning to do tonight.

Kate mentally reprimanded herself. That wasn't why she had come here. She had come here to… what? Work on an English essay? Get out of the suffocating apartment for a while? Risk Alex seeing her and suffering his wrath?

No. She had come here because she missed it. She missed having someone to talk to. She missed having someone to laugh with. She missed having someone to confide in, to cry with, to have fun with, to be there for her, to reassure her, to do things with, to look forward to things with, to reminisce with, someone to _know _her. She missed having a friend.

She missed real life.

"_Rick just needs someone to talk to. Someone who can understand him… someone clean,"_

How was it possible that she could be so interested in a boy she had only talked to for a day? It defied logic and reason and all those other stupid things that people make up to explain things. Maybe that's why she needed to do this. She'd been given a chance, a chance for human contact and no way was she going to let it pass by. She couldn't stay stuck in Alex's web forever.

Kate's finger came to a stop on one particular book her mother had read to her: 'Alice in Wonderland'. She smiled as she remembered her mother's soft voice, the way she would alter it to match the characters or the mood just to make it all the more exciting.

If Alice could get out of her rabbit hole, maybe Kate could too.

०౦ംഠ०҆'˚'҅०ം◦∙ × ∙◦ം०҆'˚'҅०౦ംഠ०

Rick entered the library with two hot cups of coffee held in his hand. He had seen the coffee shop as he was walking and decided it would give them something to do if their conversations broke down into awkward silence again. Obviously he didn't know what kind of coffee Kate liked, so he had simply guessed and hoped for the best. He reasoned he could always go and get her another cup anyway.

He quickly scanned the library and smiled when he saw Kate sitting in one of the comfy armchairs with her head buried in a book. As he drew closer, he snuck a peak at the cover. _'Alice in Wonderland'_? He wouldn't have guessed she'd read something like that.

"Hey," he muttered softly as he reached her and resisted the urge to smile when she jumped slightly. When she saw who it was however, she noticeably relaxed before looking inquisitively at the cups in his hand.

"You bought coffee?" Kate asked with a raised eyebrow. "You don't even know if I like it,"

"…Yeah?" Rick replied hesitantly before setting her cup down on the table in front of her and sitting down in his own chair. "Just try it,"

So she did. The look of surprise that crossed her face when she took her first sip wasn't exactly the reaction Rick had been expecting. He'd been expecting her to look disgusted or, worse case scenario, spit it back into the cup.

"Alright, you're either really lucky or really creepy," Kate stared up at Rick and for some reason he wasn't able to fathom, the look of slight suspicion mixed with surprise struck him as inexpressibly funny. Before he was quite sure of what he was doing he was giggling like he'd just heard the funniest thing in the world. Kate was looking at him like he'd gone mad. Maybe he had.

"S-sorry," he managed to choke out. It was fairly difficult seeing as how he was trying to keep his laughter silent at the same time. "It's just the look on your face,"

Rick tried to imitate the look but failed miserably. He achieved on thing though. Kate began giggling herself.

It was a while before they stopped and a small part of Rick seemed to understand the laughter had been slightly due to hysteria but he pushed the thought away and grinned at Kate. She smiled back, though somewhat hesitantly.

"So… about our essays..." She started hesitantly and Rick sighed.

"Can't we just have fun today?" he asked. While he _did _want to start writing, a larger part wanted, for a little while at least, to just have a friend. Out of nowhere the words from Kate's book came back to him and he bit his lip guiltily. He wanted to talk to her about it but what was he supposed to say? 'Oh by the way, I found the notebook you use to insult yourself constantly. Did I also mention I've worked out your step-dad is sexually abusing you?'

In his head it sounded like the most stupid thing in the world. He wouldn't dare say it out loud. But if Kate didn't want to talk to him about it, which was a no-brainer, then the least he could do was try and give her something solid to hold onto while she struggled to pick up the broken pieces of her heart. A bit like with Alexis.

"I don't know…" Kate looked uncertain and as Rick looked closer, he noticed she was actually a little bit afraid. Afraid of what? Her step-dad catching them? Why was that such a big deal? Did he not let her have friends or something?

"We don't have to leave the library," Rick coaxed. "Besides, the essay isn't due for like two weeks. We have time don't we?"

She still looked uncertain. Rick cast his mind around for something to convince her but drew up on a blank. With a sigh he shook his head and simply said, "Kate, I just want to be friends. But I can't if you don't want to be either,"

He half considered leaving just for dramatic effect but decided against it. It probably wasn't the best course of action for now. Kate looked at him in desperation and said, "It's not that I don't want to… it's just… I don't…"

"You don't really remember how?"

Kate stared at him in surprise. Rick looked away uncomfortably. He had simply said what he himself was finding so difficult about this. He sure as hell didn't expect her to be having the same problem. Maybe Kate was right. He actually was pretty lucky.

"Yeah… I just need some time to get used to it," she admitted quietly.

"It's not like I'm asking you to come back to my house and bake cookies with me," Rick shrugged. "Just hang out for a while,"

"'Bake cookies'?" Kate raised her eyebrow again. "That's your idea of friendship?"

"No," Rick smiled mischievously at her. "That's my idea of _best _friendship,"

And to his immense delight, Kate burst out laughing.


	7. Hello Again Darkness

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 7:  
><em>- Hello Again Darkness -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>Alex had done it again when he arrived back at the apartment. Kate had just come back herself from being with Rick and was surprised when Alex had come in just a few minutes after. For a couple of heart stopping moments, she thought her step-dad might have seen her and Rick together, but to her relief, he hadn't.<p>

He still… _took _her again.

Kate looked out the window at the darkening sky while she sat in her favourite spot on the windowsill. All she could think about was Rick Castle. It was strange. She had to admit he was handsome, like some of the other girls at school had, and he was the first person in a long, _long _time to make her even smile, let alone laugh. But he was a boy. That was the problem. And if Alex ever saw her with another boy, he would go ballistic.

All the same, Kate already knew she would try and see Rick again. The time she had spent in the library today was just too good to pass up, especially if Rick was willing to see her again.

With a small smile on her face, the emerald eyed teen slowly got off the window sill so she could get ready for bed. With any luck, Alex would be done for the night.

But Kate's hopes were dashed when Alex came to her again, flouncing into her room while she was changing into her pyjamas. She stopped buttoning buttons, knowing what he was there for, and slowly lowered her hands.

He cupped her buttocks from behind and then slid his hand between her legs, touching her sensitive slit. Then, without further ado, he pulled down her bottoms, baring her creamy ass and pink private cunt. He pushed her onto the mattress and spread her outer lips with his thumbs. She whimpered, clutching the sheets, as he drew a long slow lick across her snatch.

"You smell so sweet," Alex murmured and then delved his tongue into her. "You were so good when I came home that I thought I'd give you a little reward."

"You don't have to," she gasped, gripping the blankets as he pushed a finger into her. "Please…"

"Don't worry, we'll get to it. Just let me pleasure you," he whispered.

He put his thumb on her clitoris and rubbed it, sending spikes of unwanted pleasure through her body. She didn't want to, but she moaned and felt herself getting wet. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and put her face into the sheets, smothering her sounds. Alex gripped her hair, pulling her head back.

"No, no, scream for me. I want to hear you," he whispered against her skin.

He stroked her deftly, swirling her clit and pumping his fingers in and out of her moistening snatch. His belt jingled as he undid his pants and stepped out of them. She felt his dick pressing through her folds and then probing her entrance. With one powerful thrust, he filled her to the brim. He cupped her breasts, feeling them jiggle as he thrust into her, ploughing through her body. Since he had already had her once today, she was looser and it didn't hurt so much.

It almost felt… _good._

She made a small sound and he reached around to touch her clit, offering her more stimulation and pleasure.

"Go on, Katie. Scream for me…" Alex said breathlessly.

"R…" Kate gasped, curving her spine.

He kissed the back of her neck, nibbling at her earlobe. "Say my name," Alex gasped.

"Ri…"

"Say it," he whispered. "Say it's _so_ good. Scream!"

"Rick," she gasped out.

She felt his muscles seize up, turning to stone against her back, and knew she had done something terribly wrong. The last thing she remembered picturing in her mind, as she always did as a distraction when Alex took her, was beautiful cerulean blue eyes and the very person's name she had uttered.

"What did you just say?"

"I… don't know," she whispered honestly.

"Wrong answer."

That was the first time Alex had ever struck her so brutally. Once her face was swollen and red and her eyes were filled with tears, he let her fall to the floor. She shivered in a half-naked heap. When she finally pushed herself into a sitting position, he forced her mouth around his dick and fucked her throat. He finished, cumming on her face, grabbed her by her wrists, and tossed her onto her bed before leaving.

It was then Kate realised her notebook was missing. She supposed it could be a form of self-harm. It certainly made her feel less like she was going to explode from emotion when she wrote in it… but now it was gone.

Kate found herself sobbing, struggling to breathe as she pulled on clothes before practically tearing her room apart in an effort to find it. It wasn't anywhere. Where was it? When could it have gone? Who had it?

The questions tore at Kate all night as she finally fell onto her bed and cried herself to sleep.

०౦ംഠ०҆'˚'҅०ം◦∙ × ∙◦ം०҆'˚'҅०౦ംഠ०

The next day, Rick only glimpsed Kate. She avoided him constantly but refused to tell him why, refused to even talk to him. In English they once again sat in silence despite Rick's constant attempts to talk to her. He tried to sit next to her at lunch but she got up to go to the toilet. After school, he tried to find her and maybe talk to her with Alexis around but she was picked up by her step-dad.

Lying on his bed, Rick tried desperately to work out if he had done something wrong the day before. They'd slowly settled into a steady conversation about everything and anything pointless and for a while everything had been fine. Of course there was the huge elephant in the room bellowing in both their ears constantly about the one thing neither of them wanted to talk about. Their parents.

But that was to be expected Rick supposed. It wasn't supposed to come up in idle conversation. All the same, he couldn't think of anything he'd said nor done that had made her seem uncomfortable. They'd even left the library well before her step-dad was due to be home according to Kate, so it wasn't like he had found out. So what was it?

Rick sighed and buried his face into his pillow. This whole thing was so confusing. First she pushed him away, then she opened up just the tiniest bit, and now it felt like every time he tried to talk to her he was running head long into a brick wall. Was this what friendships were usually like? Rick doubted it.

Something must have happened. Something bad, or at least something worse than usual. He shifted slightly on the bed, suddenly aware of the little red notebook safely hidden under the mattress. He still wasn't sure how to tell Kate he had it. But after reading everything inside, what could possibly have happened to make things _worse?_

The brown haired teenager closed his eyes and tried to relax. His dad hadn't beaten him last night, simply grunted a warning that Rick needed to return that money he stole _soon. _Rick was at a loss for what to do. It wasn't like he actually stole it in the first place. But that didn't matter right now. He had a little bit of his own money saved up from before they had moved to New York. It wasn't quite enough pay back everything his father needed but if he was lucky, maybe Anthony wouldn't notice.

As for Kate… there was still Thursday and Friday. Hopefully he could talk to her again.

So even though it was only five o'clock or so in the afternoon, Rick allowed himself to fall into a much needed sleep.

०౦ംഠ०҆'˚'҅०ം◦∙ × ∙◦ം०҆'˚'҅०౦ംഠ०

Unfortunately for Rick, Kate didn't speak to him again until Saturday.

To his immense relief, his father had been forced to work much later than usual due to one of the employees being ill. Out of this came two things Rick would always be thankful for. One, Anthony got paid overtime for filling in, so much in fact that he almost completely forgot about the whole 'Rick stealing his money' thing. Two, his dad had ended up working late enough that by the time he got home he was too exhausted to do anything except fall asleep.

So for the past week Rick had been able to heal without interruption. The only real drama had been when his step-mom had woken up on Friday evening and decided throwing glass bottles at the walls was a good idea. When she had finally calmed down enough for Rick to tentatively ask what she was doing, she had simply looked at him like he was stupid and said," Redecorating,"

Needless to say, Rick and Alexis hadn't gone near her since.

But it was on Saturday evening that it happened. Rick had been leafing through Kate's book again, not really reading it but simply trying to work out how to tell her he had it, when he heard the apartment door slam open and then slam shut. His step-mother shrieked, but he heard his father's heavy footsteps pounding down the hallway. Quickly, Rick shoved the notebook back under the mattress and then rolled himself into a tight protective ball. His door crashed open on its squeaky hinges, slamming into the wall.

"Boy!" his father screamed. "You worthless little shit!"

Rick had no idea what he had done to anger his father so, but at that moment, it didn't really matter. His shoulders trembled and he put his hand over the wound on his stomach. He could get away tonight. Alexis was safe in her room behind her locked door and he wasn't so injured.

Taking a deep breath, Rick leapt to his feet and barrelled past his father down the hall. Anthony took a swipe at his son, grabbing a fistful of soft amber hair and getting off a clean blow to the side of Rick's face. Luckily, Rick managed to pull away and charge from the apartment. He dashed down the stairs, slamming into the walls when his feet skidded on the tile. He knew his father wouldn't follow him so, for now, he was safe.

When he finally got outside, the night was clear and cool. Above, thousands of stars shone merrily above while pieces of fluffy white cloud danced in the wind. The moon was full and round, casting its light onto the streets below. From almost every apartment he could see, warm amber light shone forth, eradicating the darkness that tried to reach in. The air was cold, but smelt of flowers and soil.

The world seemed clean. It seemed quiet. It seemed safe.

Putting his hands as deep into their pockets as they would go, Rick slowly made his way towards the park that was just down the road from the red-bricked apartment building. He only had a t-shirt on, but at least when he had come home the library earlier he hadn't bothered to take off his trainers.

The grass beneath his feet crunched slightly as he entered the play park. It was eerie, coming here at night. The climbing frames cast long shadows that, with just a touch of imagination added, looked like monsters reaching out to grab their prey. Rick ignored them. It was stupid to be afraid of imaginary monsters when the real one was at home.

It was as he was reaching the swings that he noticed for the first time someone else was sitting on them. Someone wearing a jacket as dark as the sky above, light blue jeans and had long, beautiful brown hair.

"Kate?" He whispered incredulously.

She looked up and their eyes met. Her emerald eyes were full of tears, shining with moonlight. He was sure his own were bright from running and his skin felt shiny with fear-sweat. She jolted to her feet suddenly, stumbling backwards away from him.

"Don't… please don't…" she whispered.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Rick replied softly. "I'm… I'm here to escape too,"

"…Escape…?" Panic entered Kate's face and she shook her head violently. "You don't know…you can't know!"

Rick sat heavily down on one of the swings and wondered what to say. Kate was still standing there, looking at him like he was going to suddenly attack her or something. In the end, he simply replied, "I'm just here because… bad things happen at home. It's safe here,"

Kate frowned and slowly approached him. When Rick didn't move, she came closer and hesitantly sat down on the swing beside his. "Bad things happen to you?"

"Bad things happen to everyone," he replied softly.

Kate looked at the ground, burying her toes in the sand under the swing set. It was only now that Rick noticed she was barefoot.

"Can I ask how that happened?" he ventured. Kate shook her head.

Rick sighed before leaning back against the chain and staring absently at the sky.

Timidly, Kate whispered, "Your face is bruised,"

Rick reached up instinctively to touch it. The skin under his fingers was warm where his father had managed to land a blow. "Yeah…"

"How did it happen?" she asked quietly.

Rick didn't answer for a second. Eventually he shrugged and muttered, "Being stupid,"

The wind rustled through the trees and unexpectedly the crickets began to sing. The two abused teenagers sat in silence for a while, Rick looking up at the stars and Kate staring down at the sand.

"Are you angry with me?" Rick asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

Kate pushed back and let the swing glide to and fro. She bit her lip as long strands of brown hair tickled her cheeks and stuck to her lashes. "Why would you think that?"

"You avoided me all week," Rick replied, unable to stop the hurt from entering his voice. He heard her inhale sharply but continued to look at sky.

"I… I wasn't," she whispered.

Rick sighed. "Okay, so you're just not speaking to me,"

Kate's feet dragged across the ground slightly, slowing her down but she still continued to swing. "I'm sorry," she said quietly and Rick believed her. "I just… I lost something… I'm scared of what might happen if someone finds it,"

Rick immediately snapped his head in her direction. She had acted the way she had because he had her notebook? Rick knew it was the perfect and yet the very worst time to tell her the truth, but he also knew he had to. So he did.

"Do you…" he paused slightly before finally asking. "Do you mean your… notebook?"

Kate dug her feet into the sand below, stopping herself swinging abruptly. "You mean… you didn't read it did you?"

The blue eyed teen said nothing but he knew his silence answered her question. He was still shocked when the sound of sobbing reached his ears however. He looked at Kate as tears spilled down her face and she began taking in great gulps of air.

"You do know…" she whispered. "Shit, shit, shit! You do know!"

"Kate-"

"Shit!" she yelled out and Rick glanced around nervously to see if anyone was looking to see what was going on. Kate jumped to her feet so forcefully the swing swung back and chains rattled. Rick got to his feet as well and watched warily as the girl in front of him paced back and forth, crying all the while. He wanted to reach out to her, he wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how.

Then all of a sudden her sobbing turned into hysterical laughter. Rick stared as Kate practically doubled over in laughter, her mirth bursting out of her in gasps and giggles before once again turning to sobbing.

"Kate," he tried again, not sure what else to do as the addressed girl broke down in front of him.

And then to his shock, she began undressing.

At first she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, and when he heard the zipper on her coat he became even more confused. It was only after she began unbuttoning the thin blouse she'd been wearing under her coat that Rick realised she was taking her clothes off.

Taking them off for him. The very idea made him feel sick.

"Kate," Rick said desperately. "Kate, what are you doing?"

"You know," she whispered and kept whispering it like a mantra while her cold fingers struggled with the buttons on her blouse. "You know, you know, you know…"

"Kate," he said louder this time.

"You know what I am," she was still sobbing as Rick moved towards her. "You know I'm nothing but a worthless cheap whore-"

"Kate!" Rick grabbed a hold of her thin shoulders and openly winced when she practically screamed in fright. He kept a tight hold nonetheless. She stared up at him while terror swam in her eyes. She had stopped trying to undress but Rick knew she'd unbuttoned enough to allow a lot more cleavage than needed show. He didn't look at it though. He didn't want to. He simply stared back into Kate's emerald green eyes and realised something. Despite her burst lip, despite the tears running down her face and snot bubbling from her nose, Rick realised how beautiful he thought Kate Beckett really was. Not in the way her step-father saw her. Rick saw passed that. He saw the beautiful broken angel Kate was.

And it almost broke what little of his heart he had left.

He also realised he didn't have a clue what he was going to say to her. Telling her it was going to be okay would just be plain stupid seeing as how it obviously wasn't and probably never could be. So Rick simply said the next thing that came into his head. "It's not your fault,"

Surprisingly enough, it seemed to be exactly the right thing to tell her. Kate's shoulders relaxed underneath his grip and her face turned hopeful. "R-really?"

"Yeah," he murmured. Her eyes, big and innocent and sparkling with tears, held his for a moment longer before she buried her face in his chest and hugged him with all her strength.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he held her gently as she cried, the sound reverberating around the park. For a few seconds that felt like an eternity, the two teenagers stayed like that until Kate pulled away. Rick watched her sit down on the swing while furiously wiping her face and picked up her coat for her. She started slightly when he placed it around her shoulders and he shrugged. "It's cold out,"

Kate smiled slightly before biting her lip. "Sorry…"

"For what?" Rick replied softly. "There's nothing wrong with crying…"

"I don't like people seeing me cry," Kate admitted still wiping her face.

Rick was silent for a moment before quietly beginning to speak. "Sometimes we need to cry. Knowing fear, anger, happiness… love. Getting into trouble, running away and crying… that's how people grow up. It's okay for you to cry,"

Kate looked over at the other teen and was suddenly struck by how old he sounded. He didn't sound like a sixteen year old boy struggling through high school. He sounded like…

"Rick?" Kate said hesitantly. "What happened in the nurse's office on Tuesday? You looked scared when you came out…"

"…She asked how I got the gash in my side," Rick said almost emotionlessly. "I told her I fell into the coffee table but I didn't really fall and I think she knew I was lying. It was my dad… he pushed me…"

Kate trembled slightly. "How?"

"Coffee tables have sharp corners," Rick replied dully.

Kate glanced over at Rick, taking in the moonlit curve of his face. "How could he…?"

"He's… a drunk," Rick admitted. It was so… _weird _talking about this to someone else other than Alexis. He felt almost emotionless, like he was talking to someone he didn't really like about the weather which was of course further than reality than it could possibly be. The teen supposed it was his way of coping with it. Kate broke down and Rick… he shut himself off.

"Doesn't your mother try to stop him?" Kate asked and Rick openly winced at her question.

"It's my step-mother actually," he corrected. "And no… she's a drug addict,"

"So your dad… hits you and your mum… what does she do?" She sounded almost afraid to ask but Rick didn't blame her. He'd be nervous too if it was the other way round.

"She doesn't really do much to be honest. She has her fair share of… incidents I guess, but she doesn't hurt me or Alexis," Rick shrugged while idly doodling in the sand with his foot.

"And Alexis isn't… she's okay?"

Rick licked his lips, tasting blood. "I protect her,"

They sat in silence for a while, occasionally broken my Kate sniffing while she stared at Rick and he stared anywhere and everywhere but her. He was completely unaware that she was thinking again of what Stewart had said. About how Rick needed a friend, someone he could talk to, someone he could trust, someone _clean_. She wasn't clean, but she needed someone too.

"Rick, you're…"

His posture tightened, tense with fears and insecurities. "Please," he whispered. "Please don't say something cruel…"

Kate felt tears pool at her eyes again and this time she simply let them fall. "Rick, you're really wonderful. I don't know how anyone could hurt you,"

He looked at her and took in the way she stared at him while clutching her jacket as tears fell from her eyes. Most of her face was hidden by the deep brown tresses sticking to her wet cheeks. Her back trembled, rising and falling jerkily. Rick swallowed hard and shook his head.

"I don't know how anyone could hurt you either," he whispered back and Kate smiled softly. For a while, just a little while, the two broken teenagers simply looked at each other and pretended that things weren't so bad. They pretended that the world wasn't really a cruel place and that reality wasn't such a terrible place to be. Just for a little while.

Eventually however, Kate bit her lip before slowly getting to her feet. "I need to get back," she admitted sadly and Rick shrugged.

"S'okay," he replied. Kate hovered for a couple of seconds, waiting for Rick to rise with her. When he didn't move, she finally voiced her thoughts.

"Are you coming?"

Rick shook his head. "No, I like it out here. It's quiet… besides, if I go back now…"

Kate realised what he was talking about and her heart reached out for the boy in front of her. "Are you going to be alright?"

Rick flashed a smile at her but she knew it was fake since it didn't reach his cerulean blue eyes. "I'll be fine. You need to go in,"

Kate waited for a moment longer before nodding and heading inside, leaving Rick outside alone to think about what just happened.


	8. Coming Clean

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 8:  
><em>- Coming Clean -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>Kate felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.<p>

As she leant against the elevator heading up to the sixth floor she allowed herself to breathe for what seemed like the first time in years. It was like her life had turned on its head in the space of about twenty minutes.

When she had come down earlier it had been because Alex had decided to visit her in the shower, violating time she thought was meant for _her _and only her. Ever since she had accidentally said Rick's name however, he had been far rougher than he ever had been before. In the end she was so upset, she had snuck out as soon as she had put on jeans and a blouse which was the reason she wasn't wearing shoes. In the elevator on the way down she had been practically hyperventilating and she hadn't missed the slightly concerned look the receptionist had shot her on the way out. It wasn't the first time this had happened however and he had, wisely, chosen to leave her alone.

She had made her way almost blindly to the park where she had simply sat down on the thing closest to her, the swings. It was also where she allowed the panic of losing her notebook, the pain of Alex's abuse and the confusion of saying Rick's name to pile up on her. She supposed the small breakdown she had when Rick had admitted he knew was partly due to this.

But the fact remained. Rick knew. And it felt wonderful.

He hadn't pushed her away, he hadn't been disgusted by her and he hadn't tried to _use _her himself. Instead he told her it was okay to cry, he had held her as she sobbed into his chest and he had told her that it wasn't her fault.

"It's not my fault," Kate whispered as the elevator doors slid open, allowing the words to slide around her mouth. Was it really not? But could that be true? She never fought back, she never reached out and she never even hinted anything was wrong. How could it not be her fault?

"_It's not your fault,"_

Slowly Kate entered apartment 6A. She didn't want to, now more than ever. She knew the moment she stepped inside she would be trapped under Alex's gaze once again. She knew he would be mad at her, even if she had done this before.

But Rick knew.

"I saw you,"

Alex's voice went through her like a knife.

She froze as she shut the door before finally gaining the courage to turn around and look at her step-father. Although she hadn't noticed him when she came in, Kate certainly noticed Alex now. He was sitting in his favourite arm chair, both feet firmly on the floor, back ram-rod straight and his eyes as cold as ice. He looked like he'd been waiting for a long time.

"You've destroyed you're body, haven't you?" Alex's voice was dangerously calm.

"No," she shook her head wildly. "No, he just a friend!"

"Don't LIE TO ME!" Alex stood up suddenly, his anger exploding out of him making Kate back away in fear. He glared at her for a second before once again returning to his unnaturally calm voice. This, if anything, made Kate even more afraid. "Just a friend? _Just _a friend? I told you I _saw _you. I saw you hug him. I saw you _kiss _him!"

"What?" Kate couldn't answer that. Yes she had hugged him, but kiss? When…?

And then it hit her. When Rick had been holding her shoulders, just before she cried into his chest her back had been facing the building. From Alex's vantage point he could easily have mistaken their closeness for a kiss. And seeing as how her step-dad had been so angry with her since Tuesday, Kate had a funny feeling that this anger was also making him believe what he wanted to believe.

"He didn't!" Kate insisted quickly. "I swear! Please, listen to me. I didn't do anything!"

Alex approached her, towering over her and making her back into the wall behind her while covering her chest instinctively. Her hair was sticking to her damp face again. Alex didn't stop moving until they were almost toe-to-toe.

"And you lie straight to my face, bitch," he snarled as Kate shook. "I saw him kiss you. I saw you let him, you little whore. I _saw _you from the window. I watched the whole – _fucking _– THING!"

Kate shoved her face in her hands, muffling her sobs and hiding her face. "Please, this isn't…"

"Isn't _what_?"

"Isn't what it looks like," she finally managed to say. "I'm telling the truth. He's just a friend,"

Alex made a harsh sound in his throat that sounded like a dog growling. Kate whimpered in pain as he grabbed a hold of her long brown hair and yanked her head out of her hands, forcing her to look at him. There was no pity in his face for the tears spilling from her emerald green eyes.

"_It's okay to cry,"_

"I bet it was his name you said, wasn't it?" Alex hissed.

Kate sobbed harder, her hands gripping her hair just below his fist.

"Tell the truth!"

"Yes!" she cried out. "But I didn't…"

"You said his name while I was inside you!" Alex roared. "What else is that supposed to mean!?"

"But I…" she whispered.

"You _what_?" His spit speckled her face. Kate closed her eyes.

There was nothing she could say. Nothing could save her.

"Well?" Alex said impatiently.

"I'm sorry," Kate whispered and instantly knew it was the completely wrong thing to say. Apologising more or less confirmed that she had done something wrong.

"DAMMIT!" Alex screamed before throwing her to the floor. Her back slammed into the arm of the sofa and she pitched backwards over it. He advanced on her, face reddening, eyes bugging, and veins bulging from his flesh. "Maybe I should just start selling you, whore! Would you like that? I bet you would you little slut,"

"No! Please!"

Alex fell on top of her, gripping her breasts through the jacket she still had on with his big hands. He quickly pulled it off before resuming his groping. Kate tried to push him off, turning her head away from his kisses. The warmth of Rick's body heat around her still lingered, at the very least in her mind, and she didn't want to forget that feeling so soon. She had felt safe and warm for the first time in years. She didn't want Alex to touch her.

"You're turning away from me, bitch?" Alex sounded like he wanted to laugh. "After everything I've done for you?"

"No! I don't want this!" Kate cried.

"You don't WANT this?" Alex roared back. "Will you only spread your legs for your new toy-boy, is that it?"

"No! I haven't done anything with Rick!"

"Rick?" Alex paused and Kate felt every part of her body go cold. "So that little bastard _was _the one… Don't worry; I'll make sure I punish him _very _thoroughly. But first…" Alex smiled maliciously at her and said in a far too cheery voice, "It's time to cleanse our little Katie!"

She struggled against him but Alex was too big and too strong for a sixteen year old girl. Kate had the slight advantage of panic induced adrenaline, but Alex had his own adrenaline fuelled by rage. He dragged her into the bathroom by the hair while Kate struggled all the while. Once there, he turned the water in the shower on to its maximum temperature and then its strongest force of spray. He then manoeuvred the shower head out of its holder and shoved it in front of Kate's mouth. Desperately she tried to pull away as the boiling hot water began to pound her face. Instinctively, she cried out and the water immediately rushed into her open mouth. After a couple of seconds, Alex pulled the shower head away and allowed Kate a moment of relief to spit out the water and let her skin cool. Then he repeated.

If Alex had done it more than twice her face might have been burned but that was the least of her worries. Her step-dad let the shower head fall to the floor, turned off the shower then dragged the soaking girl back to her bedroom As if she was a ragdoll he threw her on the bed while she sobbed the whole time. The cleansing wasn't over yet.

Cleansing… or rather… stretching her body to its _absolute _limits.

It was the worst word in Alex's vocabulary. Usually Kate was cleansed once a year as an 'annual event'. She didn't often require cleansing however seeing as how she never tried to speak with boys when Alex was around. As the years went by, she more or less stopped interacting with them all together. In fact, this would be the first time Kate was cleansed twice in the same year.

"Get on your hands and knees," Alex snarled and Kate knew better than to disobey. Her step-dad was in her wardrobe and she knew what he was getting. The box of toys he brought out when he was feeling _especially _creative. And Kate also knew he had a whip in that box.

He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back, curving her spine into a painful C-shape. Then, he fitted a bondage ball gag into her mouth, choking off her whimpers, pleads and sobs. The rubber scraped against the inside of her slightly burned mouth making her cry out in pain that was only muffled by the gag. Alex then used a knife to neatly cut off her clothes, humming as he did so. Finally, he tied her arms above her head to the headboard, but loosely so that he could adjust her position whenever he pleased. She would have whimpered and begged him to stop but the gag effectively silenced even the smallest peep. She could only silently take it while tears slid down her pale cheeks.

"How many did we manage last time, Katie?" Despite the fact he addressed her, Alex almost sounded like he was talking to himself. "I think four. Two in each hole, yes?"

She was silent, shaking with cries. He ground his teeth, found her clit, and gave it a harsh twist, forcing a sound of agony out of her even around the gag. Then, trembling, she nodded.

"Now, was it so hard to answer me? You could learn to enjoy this, sweet cunt," he grunted. "Let's try to make it to six tonight, okay?"

She couldn't answer him. _Six_ things inside her… More tears ran down her cheeks, dripping onto the towel below.

He gripped her hair, pulling her head back sharply. "Okay?" he snarled.

She nodded, sobbing.

For the innocent accidental meeting with Rick, for being safe in his arms for just a moment… six things would tear her body apart. Strangely, she didn't regret going to see him that night, not even in the morning…


	9. Contact

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 9:  
><em>- Contact -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>The sun came out on Monday morning inspiring kids and adults alike to where shorts and t-shirts while planning trips to the beach. School felt more like prison than normal as the impatient teenagers listened to the teachers who, for once, sounded as bored and impatient as their students. For Rick, the morning had actually started out fairly well.<p>

New skin was finally growing over the gash in his side and the stitches the nurse had put in had been taken out by Alexis. It barely even hurt anymore. Although most of his bruises remained an ugly purple, a lot of them had greenish-yellow tints to them signalling they were healing and his split lip was also holding together.

Then everything started turning _bad._

It had begun before school when Rick, hoping to talk to Kate about Saturday, had waited for her after dropping Alexis off. Unfortunately, Kate's step-dad had driven her to school. Rick had ducked out of sight before the man could see him, but he had stayed long enough to see Kate's face behind the glass. It was so different compared to Saturday evening.

Where before it had been hopeful - happy even - today it was meek, miserable… defeated. Rick realised then and there with a horrible prickling sensation across his skin…

Something was _wrong._

He tried talking to her in English at the end of the period when the teacher gave them twenty minutes to work on their essays. Without a word he had simply slid her notebook across the desk towards her and waited for her reaction.

For a moment too long she did nothing, but finally she slowly picked it up and placed it in her bag. There was no 'thank you'. No look of gratitude. No real outward reaction at all. She remained the same for the remainder of the lesson, not talking and not even looking at Rick.

Something was very _wrong._

At break between second and third period he had cornered her at her locker. Instead of trying to pull away from the arm Rick placed on her shoulder, Kate tensed up so violently he let go almost instantly. She didn't move away though. Simply continued to survey the inside of her locker as though Narnia would suddenly pop out.

"Kate…" Rick said softly. "What the matter?"

"Please," Kate whispered almost… _brokenly. _"You have to leave me alone. I can't talk to you,"

Then she closed her locker and left. Rick didn't try to follow her. He simply stared hopelessly at the spot she had been standing previously.

Something was very, _very _wrong.

०౦ംഠ०҆'˚'҅०ം◦∙ × ∙◦ം०҆'˚'҅०౦ംഠ०

By the time lunch finally rolled around, Rick was just about ready to slide out of his skin with worry. His shoulders were bunched tense and hard as stone. His stomach was in too complicated a knot to consider eating anything. Worst of all, his nervous habit was acting up. Rick had realised his 'nervous habit' was rubbing the back of his neck a couple of years ago and now he'd rubbed his neck so much he wouldn't be surprised if it was raw.

Now he couldn't find Kate.

Rick wondered where the hell she could be while once again unconsciously rubbing his neck. The moment he realised what he was doing he scowled and shoved the offending hand deep into his pocket before continuing to think. The only problem was, whenever Rick had seen Kate at school it had been in class, at her locker or in the cafeteria. He had no idea where she might be hiding and no idea where she _could _hide. He hadn't been at the school long enough.

Obviously the thought of her being in the girls' bathrooms had crossed his mind but he dismissed it. He convinced himself it was because if Kate didn't want to be near him, she didn't want to be near anyone and the bathroom wouldn't give her the privacy she wanted. Deep down he knew he couldn't bear the thought of not being able to talk to her. So he continued to wander around the school and rub the back of his neck while trying not to worry about the time too much.

There were only twenty minutes left of lunch when he found her. She was sitting under a stairwell and completely hidden from view unless you were actually looking under the stairs. The only reason Rick had found her was because he'd been so desperate to find her.

Kate was sitting with her back against the wall and the same notebook Rick had given back to her this morning on her lap. She was writing in it again. Carefully, Rick manoeuvred himself so he was sitting beside Kate and could also see what she was writing. But it wasn't the same words of self-loathing as before. It was one word over and over and over again.

_Cleansed._

"Kate," he murmured. The pen stopped its furious movement as its holder took a breath and closed her eyes. She almost looked as if she was in pain.

"Just leave me alone, please," she whispered in reply, her shoulders shaking.

"I'm sorry… but we need to talk," Rick carefully put a hand on her arm. It was so pale and fragile, but he knew it wouldn't shatter under his hold. He wouldn't let it.

"There's nothing to say," Kate whimpered. Kate didn't _whimper. _

"Kate, _please,_" Something in his voice made her turn towards him and their eyes met. For a second an emotion flashed in those emerald green eyes but it was gone too quickly for Rick to know what it was. Just as quickly, Kate once again averted her gaze.

"Just leave, Rick," she replied.

But Rick wasn't going to leave. He _couldn't_ leave. What was he supposed to do? What did he do when Alexis was upset? He called her by her nickname. But technically 'Kate' was a nickname. Short for Katharine. So what else could he use?

Then it came to him.

"Becks?" he was surprised at how smoothly it came out. He remembered her saying her surname was her favourite thing about her name and… well, it just sort of worked. Kate jolted slightly at the nickname and once again looked up at him. It was like he had been using that name forever. Like they had been close forever.

"Please," he continued. "Please don't push me away." His hand was still on her arm and he slowly moved it down to her hand, pushing the pen out of her grasp and threading their fingers together.

For a long moment Kate stared at their intertwined hands. Just as Rick was daring to feel hopeful, she suddenly pulled her own hand free and hid her face behind her hair. "I have to…" she replied quietly, sadly.

"Why?" Rick felt his voice crack slightly and he allowed his head to fall against the wall behind him with a satisfying thud he felt in his skull. Desperation, fear, unbearable anguish and something else… something he didn't quite want to name were all rushing through his system. How could Kate do this? What was wrong? What the hell was so _wrong_?

Kate looked up at him and felt something deep inside her break when she saw the sadness in Rick's beautiful cerulean blue eyes. Tentatively, not even sure why she was doing it, Kate reached out a hand to cup his face. His eyes fluttered closed at her caress and she relished the ability to just _touch_ him. His skin was as soft and warm as living velvet. She stroked his cheeks, fingers resting beneath his eyes. His lashes were long and thick, like twin fans lying against his porcelain-pale cheeks. Gently, she put her fingers through the cool of his amber hair, relishing the feather-soft tresses sliding through her hands.

Then, abruptly, she pulled away and wrung her hands in her lap.

His eyes slid open, profoundly sad and hopeless. Somehow, seeing his eyes like that made her want to cry.

"Please," she whispered. "Don't look at me like that."

"Tell me _why_," he begged. "Is it… because I _know_?"

She sucked in a breath, feeling faint.

"I'm not… going to say anything," he whispered, "I promise."

She bit her lip and looked at the words on the page.

_Cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed…_

She didn't want to go through that again.

She looked at him again, looked into his heartbroken cerulean blue eyes. They were still so lonely, so full of pain and Kate still wanted nothing more than to rid him of those emotions… yet now she was adding to them. So without answering him, she picked up her pen and began writing again.

_Cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed, cleansed…_

"What does that mean?" Rick asked desperately. "You don't… it's not because… you don't feel dirty because I… touched you?"

Kate looked up at him in shock. How could he think such a thing? The memory of warmth and safety she had felt when he had let her cry into his chest that night was all that was keeping her going. And he thought…

"No," she said a little forcefully. Rick winced slightly at her tone and she quickly amended it. "No, it was… my step-dad… he…"

But she couldn't tell him.

Instead she stared at the words on the page. She hadn't been able to use her red pen so she had opted for black instead and she wished she hadn't. The dark ink looked ready to come out of the page and swallow her up. If it hadn't been Rick beside her, she might have let it. He was still looking at her, confused and afraid of losing his only friend and probably the only person he'd ever told about his father. What kind of horrible person was she?

"I told you… he doesn't like me talking to boys," Kate explained lamely. She risked looking at him and instantly wished she hadn't. He looked so lost and afraid like a wounded puppy at the side of the road. Kate closed her eyes as she felt them burn and swallowed hard. "Please… I just can't…"

Rick didn't answer. Instead he once again reached out for her hand, curling his own around it and this time keeping the pen as well. He then guided her hand over the page and began to scribble out every word she'd written in lines upon lines of black ink. Kate felt strangely detached as she watched, like she was watching it from another person's body. By the time Rick had finally stopped, the entire page was ruined, awash with ink blotches and even a couple of tears where the ink had simply gone through the paper.

"Why did you do that?" His hand was still on hers.

"Because you're clean,"

She shivered. She'd never, in her entire life, felt more hideous, more dirty, more disgusting. It was almost as if some invisible filth clung to her skin and the longer Rick held her hand, the longer he was exposed. She could almost see it, crawling across from her skin to his, darkening his cerulean blue eyes and seeping into his very heart.

Yet his hand still felt so warm and innocent wrapped around hers. It was so nice and comforting.

"Becks…" There he was using that name again like he'd used it his entire life. "You're crying,"

She was. Kate quickly wiped the tears away but more fell. She was drowning in her pain.

All around them, above the small staircase they huddled under, just outside the walls and even underneath them, life went on. Nobody knew of these two broken-hearted children. Nobody cared.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. Rick gently rubbed his thumb back and forth over her hand but continued to say nothing as she finally wiped away the last of her tears. It felt like she had cried more in the past week than she had in the past few years. But she could feel his eyes on her and it made her heart beat against her ribcage so fast, so strong. She actually _felt _strong… he made her strong.

Then, brokenly, Kate whispered, "The cleansing… he fills me…"

"F-fills you?" Rick couldn't keep the tremor out of his voice.

"With _things…_" Just the way she said it made him shudder. "He puts them anywhere he can't be… more and more each time…"

Rick felt his voice break. He didn't care. "How many?"

It took a long while for Kate to answer. The memories took hold of her, mocked her, danced out of her reach then came back when she least expected it. It was torture. But finally she managed to choke out, "…Six…"

Rick felt himself recoil as if he'd been hit but his mind was reeling at far faster a pace. "Why?" he whispered horrified. "Why would he…?"

"…I fouled my body," She hated saying it. Like Rick was dirty when he was really so pure and good.

But Rick didn't think that way. Instead he quickly let go of Kate's hand and shifted away from her as guilt crashed over him. "Because of me," he forced out.

She nodded and had to take a breath so she wouldn't cry again. "He saw us… he saw me touch you and he thought…" Kate couldn't finish. She could only gently touch her lips. Rick didn't seem notice as he was too busy raking his hands through his hair.

"Oh god… because of me he… Kate, I'm _so _sorry," Rick understood why she wanted him to leave now. Hell, even _he_ wanted _himself _to leave. Before he could however, Kate placed a hand on his shoulder and made him turn towards her.

"I still would have… I still would have gone. Even if I had known that he would see, even if I had known about… the cleansing… I still would have run to the park that night… I'd still go…" she whispered honestly.

"Why?" he asked desperately, his beautiful blue eyes widening.

"I… I don't know," she admitted quietly.

Then they were quiet again. But Rick didn't leave and Kate didn't write.

Instead he gently removed her hand from his shoulder and then simply held it in his for the third time. Kate closed her eyes as the warmth from Rick's hand transferred into her own and allowed the feeling to flow through her body. She wanted to speak again, she wanted to hear his voice but she didn't know what to say…

Then his suddenly his voice jolted through her, powerful and a little bit angry. "That notebook… you should get rid of it," he said.

"What?" Kate gasped, while protectively covering it with her free hand.

Rick shook his head and replied. "Why do you keep it? I've seen what's inside and it's… horrible,"

"I… I need it…"

"Why? To torment yourself with it?"

Kate looked at the back of Rick's hand. It was pale with a few scars standing out against the skin. His nails were chewed, but short as though he cut them to make sure they stayed neat. Nothing like her own jagged ones.

Finally she confessed. "Yes…"

Rick reached around her shoulders with his other hand and then hugged her too him. Her breath rushed from her lungs with the impact and she found herself cradled in his protective embrace. She melted into him, inhaling the scent of his skin. It was similar to the one in the library. Old, papery but with something deeper ingrained into it. Imagination.

Then, against her ear, his voice all husky, he whispered, "Becks, please. Don't do that anymore."

Both his arms went around her, tightening and he breathed into her hair. Her hand was still resting on her notebook in a defensive manner but then she felt his warm fingers on hers and allowed him to pull it away. He leaned back and looked into her face, into her eyes. She gave him a nervous smile and tried not to look at the book of hateful words.

Then, she watched him tear it in half.

He was _so_ strong.

For some strange reason, once the pages went into the trash, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her chest felt lighter, her skin thinner, and she smiled at Rick gratefully.

It was… _amazing. _For almost a year now Kate had believed that notebook had been the only thing keeping her going. It was a present from Alex which was why her name had been written in the front when she got it. Maybe a small part of her wanted somebody to find it, to realise she was hurting so much. Only now she realised that notebook had been part of the pain.

Rick gently cupped the side of her face, stroking it gently, cradling the side of her jaw. Their eyes met and Kate thought she saw something deep and wonderful and glowing in his. Like the first ray of sunshine after a terrible storm. His breath was light and sweet on her face, on her lips, tickling them, warming them. She raised her own hand to touch the bruise around his face and his split lip. Their noses brushed ever so slightly.

She remembered Alex's accusation, that she had kissed Rick. Then she found herself wondering what it would feel like…

Abruptly, the thought scared her. What if Alex found out? She would be cleansed again, that was certain. And what if Rick was simply pretending, as her step-dad warned that all boys did?

But then she allowed herself to really _feel _Rick's trembling touch against her face and she realised she could never believe this was a lie.

"_Rick is one of those very few people who see the worst of humanity and all it does it make them kind…_ _Give him a chance, Kate. Just a small chance,"_

"Becks," he whispered but she could hear the hesitant question in his tone. She wanted to lick her lips but they were so close she was worried she'd lick him too.

"Is this okay?" There. The faintest brush of lips as he spoke. A warm tingle went through her, pooling in her belly.

She whispered, "Yes…"

And then Rick gently touched his lips to hers.


	10. Beginning of the End?

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 10:  
><em>- Beginning of the End -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>When Rick's lips touched hers, an explosion of fireworks went off in her body. Heat rushed through her, starting at her lips before coursing down her spine. The warmth pooled in her stomach, curling through a part of her that suddenly felt very empty. The place Alex filled with himself was emptying of him and the warmth gathered there, filling her with Rick and pushing out the horrible used feeling that always burned in her blood.<p>

She let her breath out against his lips, breathing into him. His lips parted and, for a moment, icy fear tingled across her skin. She was suddenly afraid that Alex _was _right, that Rick only wanted her for her body. She feared the entry of his tongue.

Kate pulled sharply away, but strangely she didn't put much space between them. Her forehead remained pressed to his, noses brushes while her nervous breath brushed against his face. It would take the barest of movements to kiss him again.

His trembling fingers on the side of her face threaded through her hair and gently pressed his lips back to hers. This time, Kate didn't feel any fear, even when once again parted his lips and deepened the kiss without putting her tongue against her.

Rick was so gently, almost timid, shy…

It was wonderfully different to the way Alex usually ploughed through her.

Rick didn't even crush her against him. He was barely touching her at all, just the hand on her face and the other threaded through her hand. Her free hand was resting on his sharp stabbing hip, cupping the bone where it protruded the waistband of his jeans. They were standing close in the deserted hallway; the bin where her little red notebook sat ripped apart a couple of paces away while the sun shone in through a nearby window. It felt like they kissed forever, but in reality it must have only been a few seconds

Neither of them pulled away. They just… stopped kissing.

Rick's hand was still holding the side of her face gently, fingers threaded through her deep brown tresses. He put a few inches of space between them and gazed into her eyes. His cerulean eyes were dark, barred, guarded. He was very afraid of how she would react to his touch. Would she run from him? Slap him? Scream?

Kate was breathless. Her heart was beating so fast and her entire body felt hot. She met Rick's eyes and saw deep fear in them. Why… was he afraid? She started to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip on her hand desperately.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Please, don't… run from me."

Her emerald eyes widened. "I wasn't…"

She gazed into his cerulean eyes and realized he was afraid of her. He feared her reaction. Kate glanced at his lips, moist and petal-pink, parted slightly. She realized her kiss still lingered there, still burned on his skin. Then, she looked back into his beautiful eyes and smiled at him.

"Rick," she whispered and there must have been something in her voice because the tension melted from his tight shoulders.

"I was so afraid," he murmured.

Kairi didn't know what to say.

He looked up into her face and smiled nervously. Then, he confessed, "I've never kissed anyone before…"

She put her fingers to her lips. A first kiss… She had lost her first kiss to Alex when she was seven. She tried not to think of it. For Rick to say it, though, made everything crash back over her. Her eyes filled with tears and his skin paled with panic.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and quickly dabbed at her cheeks with his sleeve. The place where his hand had been was suddenly cold. "Did I say something wrong?"

Kate shook her head, sniffling. "No, it's just… it's your first kiss and mine is–"

To her surprise, Rick cut her off by pressing his lips against hers again with such tenderness it took her breath away. When he pulled away, he whispered, "This can be your first kiss too, if you want it to be."

She nodded, smiling through her tears at him. "You're so…" she hesitated, looking at him. "You're wonderful. I've never been around someone like you." She bowed her head, resting her forehead on the top of his shoulder. "Is this a dream?"

"No," he whispered and wrapped his arms around her back. "I'm here…"

Kate gripped him tightly, feeling warmth and hard planes of sinew and bone beneath his clothing. She inhaled the scent of his skin, pressing her cheek against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, as fast as hers but stronger.

Then the bell rang making both of them jump. Kate looked at Rick regretfully who returned her gaze, but both had to separate and make their own way to their respective classes. Kate could feel her lips tingling all the way to class and the warmth circulating her body remained as though it had been ingrained into her very flesh.

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Kate didn't see Rick for the rest of the day. She didn't share anymore classes with him and, despite the warm weather, Alex was insisting on driving her everywhere. Ever since Saturday…

She shuddered and tried to push the memories from her mind. Almost instantly, they evaporated from her conscious thought and she let out a sigh of relief mixed with surprise. It wasn't usually possible for her to simply let the memories float away. Maybe it had something to do with the warmth from Rick's skin still nested inside her body, or the way her lips would tingle every time she thought of their kiss. Their first kiss… _her _first kiss.

It took all of her willpower not to press her fingers to her mouth as she remembered. Alex was staring at her however, and the intensity with which he was gazing at her could only mean one thing.

He wanted her.

Swallowing the bile that threatened to rise up her throat, Kate slowly trudged towards the car. She didn't notice the cerulean blue eyes that followed her worriedly every step of the way.

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"Get on your knees, slut,"

Kate closed her eyes as she complied. Ever since Saturday, Alex had been treating her worse than he ever had in her entire life. It was as if he really did see her as nothing more than an animal to be played with, as a slave to tend to his every need. Before he had respected her privacy and needs enough to let her survive through her everyday torture, but if kept things up the way he did now… Kate didn't know if she could stand it.

His hard length entered her reluctant mouth and she had to breathe hard through her nose to keep herself from choking or being sick... or choking on her own sick. Without giving her a moment to adjust, Alex slammed into the sixteen-year old's mouth and groaned at the friction it created. Kate whimpered slightly but knew there was nothing she could do. So she started to suck as Alex continually forced her to deep throat.

_"This can be your first kiss too, if you want it to be."_

'_Rick…' _Every part of him that had washed off onto her was being torn away by Alex as he pounded into her and she tried not to cry. His ball sack slammed into her face and she gasped through her nose.

"_Please, don't… run from me."_

Rick Castle… He was just upstairs.

"You like that, don't you whore?"

Apartment 7A… just one floor away…

"Suck harder!"

Trying not to sob, Kate obliged, but all the while her mind was going a mile a minute.

Could she do it? Could she really run away? She never had before because she had nowhere to run to. Now she had Rick. But what if Rick's dad was there? What if his mom was there? Was she willing to swap one monster for another?

"Keep going!"

No. She wasn't.

"_I'm here,"_

But she was willing to risk the monsters for the sake of her angel. For the sake of Rick Castle.

And so Kate Beckett did something she had never done before, something she knew her mother would be proud of. She bit down. _Hard._

Alex screamed as her teeth sunk into his length. As the older man pulled back desperately, Kate thought she felt a little bit of skin come off in her mouth but she spat it out quickly before running as quickly as she could to the door of her bedroom. To freedom.

However, at the last second, Alex managed to recover enough to reach out and grab her long hair. Kate gritted her teeth and willed herself not to give up. Instead, she lashed out with everything she had and somehow managed to get a direct hit to Alex's exposed area once again. The man yelled out and fell backwards, crashing into her wardrobe and onto the floor. Kate didn't see this. She was too busy running out of the apartment, tears streaming down her face as she went.

Too scared to wait for an elevator, Kate slammed the door to the staircase open and climbed them as fast as she could while her breath hitched painfully in her throat and she spat out the taste of Alex. When she reached Rick's floor a moment later, she stopped, waited and listened.

Around her the building creaked and groaned under the strain of being around for so long. Sounds echoed unnaturally in the stairwell and Kate hugged herself, but she neither heard nor saw any sign of Alex.

Forcing herself to calm down at least a little, Kate bit her lip and carefully opened the door to that led to the seventh floor apartments. The hallway was exactly like the one downstairs and every other stupid hallway in the building. Kate hated it. What was the point in making everything the same?

Instead of her fear lessening as she approached apartment 7A, it only grew stronger. What if it was the wrong apartment? What if Rick's dad was in? What if Rick's dad answered the door?

For almost a full ten minutes, Kate stood outside apartment 7A shivering and wondering what to do. In the end, she realised there was only one thing she could do. She couldn't go back after all. Steeling herself, Kate took in a deep breath and knocked twice on the door.

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_Knock. Knock._

Rick's head snapped up from his position on the living room floor to look at the old door that led to the outside world. He had been sitting in the living room so that he could keep an eye on Michelle. She had really been acting weird lately, going so far as to start screaming at the fridge because it didn't have any low-fat yoghurt. Since when did she start eating yoghurt anyway?

Now someone was knocking on the door. Rick resisted the urge to ask who it was and slowly got to his feet. He had just reached the door and was warily putting his hand on the handle when Alexis hissed at him from her room, "Wait, Rick! It might be Anthony!"

"I hate to consider myself an expert, sis," Rick whisper-shouted back. "But I don't think Anthony _knocks_,"

Then he opened the door.

Now, Rick had been imagining all kinds of things to be waiting behind the door. His writer's mind had been going haywire imagining secret agents, police, god botherers who thought he was possessed and even the thought of an old lady who was actually an alien in disguise crossed his mind. What he most certainly didn't expect to find was the shivering form of Kate Beckett standing there, still in her school uniform with her hair in a tangled mess and her eyes shining with tears. They stared at each other for a moment until Rick decided to convey his confusion in the most intelligent way he could think of at that moment.

"Huh?"

Kate smiled nervously and began playing with her hands. "Hey, Rick. I know this is sudden but could I, maybe… I mean… could I come in for a while?"

Rick blinked for a couple of seconds as he tried to untangle the words the brunette had spoken in his dazed mind. Eventually his blue eyes widened and he instantly moved aside while saying, "Of course, sure,"

"Thanks," she muttered as she warily slipped passed him and into the apartment. Rick couldn't resist inhaling her scent as she went by before mentally berating himself. What was he doing?

"Kate?" Alexis' confused voice echoed across the room as Rick shut the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Umm…" Kate, now that she was there, seemed to have no idea what to do. She stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room while doing her best to focus on anything but the unconscious woman currently occupying the sofa.

Noticing how uncomfortable she was, Rick quickly said, "Let's go into my room,"

Kate smiled gratefully at him, making his heart jump, before following Alexis into Rick's room. The youngest of the three teens jumped onto the bed as if it was her own and patted the space next to her. Kate nervously sat down while Rick pulled up his desk chair and sat in front of her. Without even thinking about it, Rick moved his hand to hold Kate's and was slightly surprised when she allowed him to. Alexis watched the whole thing with a knowing smirk before repeating her earlier question. "What happened, Kate?"

"I… I ran from my step-dad," she admitted while looked at the hand that was holding Rick's. Said teen was currently staring at her with concern.

"What d'you mean 'ran away'?" Rick asked. When Kate and Alexis shot him a confused look, Rick elaborated. "I mean, did you just run away? Or did something else happen?"

Suddenly very aware that Alexis had no clue Kate was abused the way she was, Rick felt nervous as to how Kate would answer. Kate was the thinking along the same lines however and replied carefully, "I… I might have bit down on something I wasn't supposed to…"

Rick resisted the urge to grin while his younger sister looked on confused. Turning to her, he asked, "Could you get Kate a glass of water?"

Alexis raised her eyebrow before nodding slowly and heading out of the room to do just that. The blue-eyed teen waited a moment to make sure she was really gone and then turned back to Kate who was still shivering. Rick frowned. That wasn't right.

"Are you okay?"

Kate's emerald green eyes met Rick blue ones but she didn't speak. Rick's worry grew as his grip tightened on her hand.

"Kate?"

Before he even knew what was happening, Kate had suddenly thrown her arms around him and was sobbing in his shoulder. He hesitated for a second before quickly wrapping the crying girl in his warm embrace. He gently whispered comforting words in her ear, letting her cry and allow her emotions to roam free.

"H-he's gonna kill me when I go back!" Kate sobbed and Rick just hugged her tighter. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know what he _could _say. He could only sit and hold Kate and hate himself for being so useless while his shoulder slowly dampened more and more.

"Kate, you don't have to go back," Rick whispered.

"But where else can I go?" She asked, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

"You can stay here,"

Rick barely held back a wince as the words left his mouth. Why did he just say that? Of course Kate couldn't go back to her step-father after what she had done, but she couldn't stay in 7A. Obviously she could just stay locked in with Alexis when his father came home, but he didn't want her to hear what happened to him. He didn't want her to see him right after a beating.

But Kate didn't seem to realise the regret Rick was feeling right now. Instead, she looked up at him with hopeful, if slightly wary, eyes and said, "Really?"

The teenager knew he couldn't say no. Saying no had suddenly become synonymous with signing Kate's death warrant, or at least her insanity warrant. If Kate went back, Alex would show no mercy. She did bite his dick after all. Rick allowed a small smile to cross his face at the thought before nodding to Kate. "Really really,"

That was when the screams began.

Rick jerked his head towards his door as Kate yelped in fright. That voice… Michelle was up.

And Alexis was right there with her.

Rick felt as if some part of him had suddenly disappeared as he heard Michelle Castle screaming at her own daughter, "Get away from me! Get away from me demon child!"

Without hesitating, Rick pulled himself away from Kate and rushed into the living room, Kate close behind.

"Mom! Mom it's me!" Alexis screamed frantically as Rick entered the living room and saw the start of a scene that would be cemented into his memory forever.

First, there was the innocence of the apartment. It was as bland as ever, the night outside calm and the lights low. Second was Alexis, backed up against the wall, water spilled all over her and tears of terror streaming down her face. Finally, there was Michelle, standing over her daughter, a crazed look in her eyes and a knife in her hand.

A knife. All Rick could see was that knife.

"You aren't my child!"

It felt like he had frozen. He could only watch as his step-mother grabbed his little sister and dragged her upright. Dragged her towards the knife.

"You're the devil!"

Then the knife came crashing down.


	11. Numb

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 11:  
><em>- Numb -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>A strange feeling came over Rick Castle as he watched the knife plunge into his little sister's chest. It was as if suddenly everything he was experiencing was just a dream, like he was just watching all of this unravel as a stranger. He <em>knew <em>he should be horrified. He _knew _he should be doing something rather than just watching. He _knew… _

But he couldn't feel a thing.

It was strange, he mused idly, but he had always hated slow motion scenes in movies. They were a total waste of time when the action would look so much cooler at normal speed. So why was everything around him suddenly doing just that? It must have taken Alexis at least a minute to fall to the floor. It looked like gravity had decided to stop working for a moment, but that couldn't be right because then they would all be floating. A strange urge to giggle overtook Rick as he pictured them all floating around the apartment.

The urge disappeared after a minute however, after the strangely small part of Rick's mind that was actually processing the severity of the whole situation kicked in and made him realise on a near unconscious level he needed to get over to Alexis and help her. It took a monumental amount of time but finally he managed to get his feet working (when did they become so heavy?) and walked over to where his step-mother was standing over his little sister's slightly twitching form (the word 'body' seemed to slip his mind rather conveniently). Michelle turned and said something to him, or maybe screamed something, but Rick couldn't hear her. In fact, he couldn't hear anything. Huh… it was strange but… it was actually kind of peaceful…

The knife.

Suddenly his entire being was focussed on that knife. His eyes could see nothing else except for the thing clutched in his step-mother's hand. Except… it wasn't really a thing was it? A knife was something you did. Yes or no, cut or not, die or don't. The moment the knife was in Michelle's hands the decision wasn't hers. Her choice was cast out into the world, never to come back because the knife made it for her. Within his strangely empty mind, this explanation made far more sense to Rick than it could if he was thinking straight.

Still his eyes were trained on the knife. He watched as it moved towards him and he, for some unknown reason, continued walking toward it. He watched as it reached him. He watched as it swung toward him. Just in time he brought his hands up instinctively to defend himself but he didn't have time to step back as well. So he watched as the knife plunged into his hand.

And that's all.

He didn't scream, he didn't widen his eyes, he didn't gasp, he didn't step back, he didn't lower his hands, he just… watched. It should have hurt, he knew that, but it didn't. It was just… there…

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Wait, when did he get outside?

Confused, Rick looked around him, and as if he had suddenly surfaced from being underwater, noise washed over him. Sirens, cars, yelling, talking, crying and so many other sounds all jumbled together until they filled his empty brain. It was too much. He tried to clamp his hands over his ears but someone he didn't even know grabbed him and said something. Rick heard it but he couldn't make sense of the jumbled words. He stared around him and realised dully that he was being packed into an ambulance. The man trying to communicate with him was a paramedic. Rick glanced down at his hand. The knife wasn't there. His hand looked bad. He shivered and suddenly he couldn't stop. Shouldn't his hand be hurting? Why didn't it hurt? And why did he feel like his hand was really not the thing he was supposed to be concentrating on…?

Where was his little sister?

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Again, Rick woke up without remembering blacking out.

The first thing he noticed was the steady _beep _of the machine beside him. The next thing he noticed was how white everything around him was. Finally he noticed what had really been bothering him. He was in hospital, he got that much, but _why _was he in hospital? Thinking back, he remembered doing homework in the apartment, a knock on the door and then Kate coming in but after that… nothing. Just a great big empty hole of blackness so big he was surprised he didn't fall into it.

Swallowing, Rick focussed more on his surroundings and finally realised the only thing giving him privacy were the curtains on both sides of his bed. He obviously was in a room with other people because it wasn't like his dad would ever bother to pay for a private room. Actually, his dad wouldn't let him go to the hospital at all. The only time he ever did was for a broken arm and even then the doctor's had wanted him to stay so they could examine the other bruises on his body. Ever since, Anthony wouldn't even let them go within one block of a hospital.

So what would he do when he found out Rick was in one?

And was it just him, or were the curtains closer to his bed than they were before? He frowned, his gaze flicking from left to right as fear began to make his stomach do somersaults. He needed to get out of there, hospital staff be damned. It was too white in there. It made his head hurt and as if a barrier had been broken his hand started aching too. Ignoring it for the time being, Rick struggled out of the sheets holding him down and planted his bare feet on the cold hospital floor. The ward around him was silent except for the noise of the machines steadily monitoring the life of everyone in the room. It must have been night.

There was a chest of drawers beside his bed. Opening one, he was relieved to see a set of clothes in there that he recognised as his. He didn't want to run around in nothing but hospital pyjamas. Steeling himself, Rick pulled out the wires hooking him up to the machine and winced as the heart monitor's beeping turned to one flat tone. It didn't matter. He needed to get out. He was going to suffocate, drown in the white that surrounded him and closed in on all directions…

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Rick had meant to leave. He really had. But something far more important than Anthony's wrath stopped him before he could. Well, that and the hospital staff running around in a panic. He managed to avoid them however and ended up on the roof with once question filling up his head until he didn't even notice the pain or the cold anymore.

Where was Alexis?

He felt sick and dizzy every time he tried to remember. It was almost as if he wasn't _allowing_ himself to remember but that was stupid because if he was, he would be able to turn that around and _make _himself remember. But still nothing came. And Rick was scared. Terrified. And his hand bloody fucking _hurt._

He gasped and clutched the injured hand in his left. What the hell was wrong with it? It had been hurting like this for a while and as the pain grew, so did his nausea. It felt hot under the bandage like it was burning and every time he pressed down on the palm the pain turned to agony. Needless to say, he hadn't done that again since the first time. It was distracting him though. He needed to dredge up the memories evading his conscious mind so he could work where his little sister was.

That was when the door to the roof slowly swung open.

Rick's head snapped towards it and watched as someone timidly stepped out, someone he never expected to see and suddenly felt like dirt because he hadn't even spared a thought for her since he woke up.

Kate Beckett stepped out onto the roof.

Rick couldn't help the weird noise that escaped him as he saw her in all of her beauty: her clear skin, her chocolate brown tresses, her emerald green eyes and her perfect figure. As soon as she appeared, a switch was thrown and Rick remembered her coming into the apartment, he remembered her in his room and uncontrollable laughter rose up in him as he remembered what she had done to her step-father.

The laughter, of course, drew Kate's attention and she quickly ran over, worry painted all over her face. Rick had never been much of an artist though. What would it look like if he had painted that expression on? The thought made him laugh harder until tears were pouring out of his eyes and it took him a second to realise he wasn't laughing. He was sobbing.

Kate had wrapped her arms around him and was holding him in a way no-one had ever held him before. Just in her embrace he felt safe, like the safest thing in the world. That feeling circled through him until his sobs died down leaving him wondering why the hell he had been crying in the first place.

"I'm so sorry, Rick," Kate whispered into his ear and he shivered slightly as her breath tickled his neck.

"What for?" He didn't mean for those words to come out. They just sort of… did. Kate quickly pulled back and frowned at him.

"I mean… for what happened… back in the apartment?" She looked sick just thinking about it.

"Becks, I don't… I don't remember what happened," It felt weird admitting it out loud and Kate's expression only made things worse, but confessing it to someone made him feel better. So did the way Kate's nickname just rolled off his tongue.

"How can you not remember?" Kate almost sounded angry.

"I just…" Rick looked down at his injured hand again and shook his head. "Don't remember."

"You don't remember your step-mother stabbing your little sister?" The way Kate said those words it was like she had vomited and the way she covered her mouth afterwards merely strengthened this assessment. Rick frowned as he struggled to fit the words together. In the end he didn't need to. His mind simply gave him the memory to see for himself.

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Why did she say that? Why the hell did she actually blurt that out loud? Kate wanted to beat herself over the head with a rusty guitar (her mind was a little bit haywire at the moment) but she couldn't because Rick was currently falling apart in front of her. The moment she told him what happened, his eyes had glazed over and Kate knew he was remembering what she herself hadn't been able to forget for the past seven hours.

Alexis being stabbed, Rick being stabbed, somebody screaming, Michelle screaming back, then a commotion as for once in their lives the people in the other apartments actually gave a damn and were suddenly in the apartment, restraining Michelle, calling an ambulance and trying to see if she and Rick were okay. Rick wasn't saying anything though. He looked like he was in shock and Kate wouldn't have been surprised if she was too.

After that there was a tangle of bodies surrounding her, leading her downstairs and out into the cold night air where a paramedic asked her some questions and people she hadn't even seen before quite happily answered for her. She wanted to scream at them, but she didn't do anything. She simply allowed herself to be led into a police car (or was it a taxi?) and for about an hour didn't let a single noise escape her lips. A policeman asked her some questions after that and without thinking, Kate answered, telling him what happened in the apartment as best as she could in a voice she wasn't sure was her own. Did she tell them about Alex? She didn't think so. She did remember the name of the man who questioned her, comforted her and brought her a hot chocolate to calm her down. Mike Royce. She made a mental note to thank him when all of this was over.

Whatever she had said seemed to have done the trick though, because instead of being taken back home afterwards she was taken to the hospital and allowed to see Alexis. Through some miracle, the young girl was still alive although the doctor made it clear he didn't have very high hopes. Kate hadn't answered. She simply sat with Alexis for a little while and tried not to think about how much of an intruder she was on Rick's family. Why was she here and he wasn't?

Eventually, she worked up the courage to ask to see Rick, only to find out that he had disappeared from his room. While the medical staff looked everywhere, Kate thought about that day in the library and from somewhere dredged up a memory she never thought she would use in a situation like this. Rick was claustrophobic. He had told her he liked going to the roof of his building if Anthony was out and Alexis was safe so he could just sit and watch the world from above. But she also knew Rick would never leave the hospital if Alexis was here, so she headed for the hospital roof and prayed he would be there.

She never expected Rick to not even remember what happened.

Kate took in a shuddering breath and wrapped her arms around herself. Rick had lowered his head into his arms and was sitting with his knees scrunched into his chest. It looked like he was trying to crawl inside of himself. Only the shaking of his shoulders told Kate what was really happening. Rick was crying again, only this time it wasn't the hysterical sobs of before. It was silent and made Kate want to hit him just so he would make some noise, so he would scream and let his emotions out in some way other than just tears because tears never solved anything. So she was slightly surprised when Rick lifted his head and asked, "Do you know why my dad hurts me?"

"Wh… what do you mean?" Kate swallowed.

"Where's your mother, Kate?" Rick's voice sounded nothing but tired. "You never told me where she was."

"She… she died when I was younger," Kate whispered, too confused to do anything but reply.

"But it wasn't your fault was it?"

Kate stared at the boy in front of her. The boy who had told her she was clean. The boy who had her laugh. The boy who she loved and she knew 'love' was the only way to describe how much she cared about Richard Castle. The boy who told her it wasn't her fault. So why was he asking her if it was?

"No," She answered after an eternity. "They said… they said gang violence… and one day I'm going to find the person who did it and make them pay."

"I… I killed my mother." Kate felt all of her breath leave her as she stared at Rick. He hadn't lifted his head any higher as if it was too heavy, as if the effort alone would make it fall off of his neck.

"How?" It was the only thing she could ask.

"She died at childbirth. She died giving birth to me," Rick murmured. "Alexis is only my half-sister. Michelle is her… her real mother. Dad brought her home because she looked like Mom."

"He… beats you because of that…?"

Rick nodded. "He's always seen it as my fault. Why should I live while she died? He hates me… he _hates _me just for being alive."

Kate shivered, teeth chattering. That was unimaginable and horrible beyond belief.

"Sometimes," Rick whispered and paused as though unsure of his next words. "I think my dad is right and I wish… I wish I died with her. Or that she died instead of me."

Kate reached for his hands but he denied her the touch. Instead his left hand fiddled with the bandages on his right, wincing every so often as more pain came through. Kate saw blood on the bandage and swallowed.

"Why?" she whispered unable to stop a sob from escaping her.

"Because… for her to have died for me… I should be doing something to honour her sacrificed life, but I'm not. I'm just… being stupid…"

"Rick…"

Suddenly he staggered to his feet and gripped the chain-link fence surrounding the hospital roof for support. Kate wondered why the fence was there and yet there wasn't one on her the red-bricked building.

"I need to see her," Rick spoke through gritted teeth and Kate knew from experience he was in pain. But how could she deny him his little sister?

"I… I know where she is," Kate spoke hesitantly but Rick didn't seem to care how or why. He just nodded and offered his uninjured hand to help her up. She took it and was about to walk when suddenly the grip on her hand became painful and she turned to look at Rick. His head was turned towards the ground, his eyes covered by his amber brown hair.

"It's okay… that you know," Rick whispered.

Kate didn't know what he was talking about. "Rick?"

"It's okay that you know that I'm… worthless," He replied softly. He then let go of Kate's hand and headed towards the door that led back into the hospital, leaving Kate standing alone and shocked at what he had just said.

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Rick stared at his little sister from around the curtain to her bed. Kate stood beside him, close enough that their arms brush but not too close. Rick decided this was a good thing. He already felt like he was in a furnace and he didn't need the heat radiating off of Kate to add to it.

Still, what he really focussed on was how _wrong _this was. Alexis shouldn't have been lying there, tubes sticking out of her, oxygen mask over her face and completely motionless except for the steady rise and fall of her chest. Rick was sure even that was wrong. Was Alexis really breathing on her own? He didn't know…

Anthony was there too. He hadn't noticed Rick and if he had, he was ignoring him. That was wrong. Usually Anthony ignored Alexis and hurt Rick. He wasn't hurting Alexis but it still wasn't right. Weren't visiting hours over or something? How late was it?

Then there was the pain in his hand. It had steadily moved from his hand until it seemed to take over his whole body. He felt sick, dizzy and there were black spots hovering at the edges of his vision. He swayed on his feet and only Kate kept him from falling over.

"Rick-"

"Richard Castle?" Rick turned his head but it took far more effort than he was used to. There was a doctor at the entrance to the children's ward, a mixture of panic and anger on his face.

"I wanted to see my sister," Rick spoke without even meaning to. It seemed to be the right thing to say though because the doctor's expression softened.

"I'm sorry about what happened," The doctor said as he moved to stand beside them. Rick resisted the urge to snort. This man didn't really care. Anthony didn't bother to hide his own snort.

Rick's legs were feeling weak again. He frowned and forced himself to focus on the pain coursing through his system. That would keep him awake. Who knew what his dad would do if he passed out in hospital.

"Rick, are you okay?" Kate asked. When did she become the only thing holding him up?

The doctor sighed and it seemed to echo around the room. "He needs to get back to bed. The antibiotics haven't had enough time to enter his system. His hand will get infected."

"He'll be fine," Anthony didn't even look round. Rick glared in his direction. He cared less than the doctor.

"Sorry Mr Castle but he really needs-"

"Rick!"

Rick only had a brief second to wonder why Kate was calling out because the pain had become too much. His entire body was on fire except for the black pit opening up inside of him and he couldn't fight it. He didn't want to.

So he fell into it.

He never even remembered hitting the floor.


	12. Black Truth

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 12:  
><em>- Black Truth -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p><em>Beep… beep… beep…<em>

The noise echoed around Rick's head steadily like a beacon trying to lead him home. He wondered when he had gotten lost. The expanse of darkness he stood in offered no direction and no place to go, but Rick started walking anyway. What else could he do?

_Beep… beep… beep…_

Except he wasn't really walking in the darkness anymore. He was standing outside of the school staring at all the people walking past, their faces black and the world silent. He realised nobody knew him. Nobody knew who he was and what happened to him at home. Nobody ever would…

Then a hole opened up beneath him and before he could even called out he was being dragged into the darkness again with only the sound of his heartbeat to guide his way.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

"Rick?" A voice. It sounded far away. Then again, all voices sounded far away in this nightmarish world he was locked in. "Please wake up. You have to get better… _please…"_

It was a girl's voice. Alexis? No that couldn't be right but Rick didn't really remember why it wasn't. He recognised it though. It pulled him out of the darkness slightly, giving him light to see his way, but it wasn't enough to find him. Nothing could penetrate the darkness that held him in place.

"Please, Rick…"

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

"Can I talk to him yet?" a voice said. Rick wondered where it was coming from.

"Of course not. He's unconscious you idiot." was the sarcastic reply.

"Any idea when he'll wake up?" the first voice enquired. It was a long time before the second voice answered. So long that Rick was sure he'd never hear another person speak again.

"…We don't know if he even will wake up. He's so young too…"

"…Well, call me when he does. I need to speak to him about what happened." The first man's voice was strange. He spoke like he was sneaking up on the words, ready to club them from behind.

"Make sure to ask about the bruises too," The second man's voice was also weird. He spoke like his mouth was pushing the sounds into shapes, telling them what to say. Rick wondered why he was noticing these things.

"Aren't they just from the attack?" The gruff voice sounded surprised.

"No, they're much older. There's a gash in his side that is at least a week old. Honestly, I think it's the father's doing,"

"You got any proof?"

"The man has barely left his daughter's side since she was admitted but didn't even blink when the boy passed out right in front of him. He hasn't even bothered to visit him either," the second voice sounded angry. Rick wondered why. It wasn't like he knew they guy and the guy certainly didn't know him. A feeling in the pit of his stomach told him he should be worried about the direction the conversation was headed but the silence and the darkness closed in before he could.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

He was in the library again. He often came here. For a while he wandered the bookshelves humming quietly to himself, the only noise breaking the silence as a hurricane of pain and noise and cold battered the library walls trying to get in. He knew it wouldn't though. In the library it was warm and safe. It always was.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

How long had he been in the darkness? It felt like so long. He was completely and utterly alone except for the distorted voices drifting in and out of his head. None of it made sense. Only sometimes when-

"…miss you. You're here but you're not and I can't…"

There! Just like that! Sometimes there it is in the middle of the darkness, in the middle of the memories, in the middle of the dreams, in the middle of wherever he was and whatever he was doing, even in the middle of a million voices creating the ground he walked on, he would hear her.

"…don't care but you've missed the essay deadline. You wanted to be a writer didn't you…"

Her voice would break through and everything else would fall silent as if even the darkness itself was holding its breath.

"…Please Rick…"

Rick… Rick… That was his name, wasn't it? And that voice-

"…You need to wake up…"

It was Kate's voice. He could hear Kate's voice. He willed her to keep talking, to keep breaking through because she was his light. Her absence kept him in the dark and kept him from fighting through because he needed her. She was his missing piece. What he had looked for all these years, all these years of loneliness…

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Words. Voices. Noise. Just noise. Rick preferred the darkness and the loneliness to the noise battering him from all sides.

"You're lying-" "You okay?" "Just shut up-" "What did you-" "You know-" "I didn't mean-" "Remember-" "We've got-" "I'm worthless-" "I don't-" Ri-" "Wait!" "Please don't-" "I'm not lying-" "Who are-" "Cleansed-" "You're really wonderful-" "Die" "Ric-" "The other side-" "There never was-" "You can't keep-" "Becks-" "Take care-" "I know-" "Do you think-" "Why did-" "You never will-" "Rick-" "I promise."

The words jumbled together making no sense. He clutched his hands over his ears but still the voices came. They didn't stop. Rick didn't think they'd ever stop.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

"You'll never know now,"

Rick frowned into the blackness. That was his father's voice. He never heard that voice. Even when he wandered through his memories Anthony's mouth moved but never made any noise. Why then could he hear it now?

_Beep… beep… beep…_

Did Anthony sound regretful? Sad? Angry? Probably angry Rick decided. His father had never really sounded regretful or sad in Rick's presence.

"I'm sorry kid. You probably don't believe me…" A snort. "Why would you? _I _wouldn't believe me… but I am…"

Rick wondered if there was a way to shut his father off and return to the darkness. The man was telling him sorry? Of course he didn't believe him. Anthony couldn't say 'good morning' without lying twice.

"Your mother used to be an actress, y'know?"

His mother? His father snorted again.

"Here that? I said 'used to be'. Can't say that… not when she still is…"

What the hell was that supposed to mean? How can you be an actress when you're dead? Unless she was pretending to be dead and in that case she was doing a pretty damn good job.

"Thing is, I lied to you… again. I always do right?" Anthony sounded tired. Not angry, not sad, not anything. Just so tired he could go to sleep and never wake up. "You're still the reason she isn't here but… she's still alive…"

…What?

"Kind of wish you could hear this kid, but she's still out there. She's probably waiting for you too…"

What?

"Suppose if you were awake you'd ask me why I was telling you this…" A very long pause. "…Honestly, I don't really know. Guess it took something like this to happen for me to realise… Look I don't know, alright kid?"

_What?_

"You just… you would have found out eventually and I'm not going to be around to tell you anymore…"

_WHAT?_

"Like I said… sorry kid. I can't really call you my son with the way I've treated you but… well you deserve this much. It's the only thing I'm ever going to give you so take it."

_Beep-beep… beep-beep… beep-beep…_

"…Maybe you can hear me…" The sound of a chair scraping back. "In that case… goodbye kid…"

No. No fucking way. He couldn't do that. Rick wouldn't let him. There was no way… no fucking way…

"I'm sorry…"

And Rick remembered nothing more.


	13. Unbroken Tone

Castle: **Between the Lines  
><strong>Chapter 13:  
><em>- Unbroken Tone -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>The room was about fourteen feet by seventeen. It had three blue walls and the fourth wall was dedicated to windows which showed the busy afternoon New York was becoming as it had an uncountable amount of times before. In the middle of the room was a table big enough to fit fifteen people – at least. The corner was home to a water cooler that had run out of plastic cups and the carpet was an uninteresting brown colour with little yellow starbursts randomly placed on it. Uninteresting. Boring. Ordinary.<p>

Kate Beckett had repeated these facts in her head more times than was probably healthy, but she still didn't feel any less nervous.

Fidgeting, she sat in one of the chairs that surrounded the table and grimaced as she nearly sank into the leather never to be seen again. Kate knew she was small for her age, but she liked to think she wasn't _that _small. So she stood back up and resumed pacing. She must have been in there for at least an hour by now. Mike had said he would only be ten minutes, so where was he?

The dark-haired teen paused beside the window and rested her head against it. Honestly, all she wanted to do there and then was curl up in a ball and sob. Rick was in a coma from the infection in his hand and had been for nearly a week now. Alexis was stable for now but there was no sign of improving. Anthony was nowhere to be found and Kate knew sooner or later she would have to go back to Alex. Mike had told her as much. She couldn't hide in the hospital forever.

Which of course was the reason she was here today, stuck in one of the conference rooms in the 12th precinct of the NYPD, waiting and praying that no-one else decided they needed to use this room because Kate had no idea what to say if they did. She supposed she could always hide under the table and try not to touch anybody's leg if somebody did come. Yes, under the table was a good idea.

A small smile found its way onto her face. That was the kind of the thing that Rick might say…

While Kate was thinking about this – fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it - Mike Royce chose that exact time to enter the room. So instead of coming in to what he expected to see, namely Kate cowering in a chair and trying not to look too scared, he entered the room, started slightly when a small 'ah!' of surprise burst out of Kate's mouth and she dived under the table. So, like any police officer or manly man would do in this situation, Mike did the only thing he could.

He blinked.

An awkward silence fell over the room as Kate slowly raised her head over the table, smiling sheepishly while her face turned three different shades of red in embarrassment. "I was just… uh…"

"Hiding?" Mike grinned at the teenager before closing the door behind him and shaking his head. "I won't mention it if you don't."

Kate giggled and mentally hit herself over the head when she did. She hated giggling. It made her feel hysterical, insane or eight years old which was never a good combination in any situation.

Mike sat down, placing a folder in front of him and Kate quickly followed suit. She shifted uncomfortably as he sifted through the papers, examining a couple intently before moving on. It felt like he was going to deliver a speech or something. Finally, just as Kate was on the verge of speaking, Mike looked up and smiled softly. "I don't bite, y'know,"

She shrugged and averted her eyes, the momentary awkwardness fading as thoughts of Rick and Alexis once again dominated her head. "I never said you did,"

"You look like an animal that's been cornered, kiddo," Mike observed, his stare boring into the side of her head. Kate, on the other hand, simply admired what a nice shade of brown the table was compared to the floor. "Kate…"

"Why am I here?" Kate steeled herself and finally met the police officer's eyes. He was a good person and had been nothing but kind to her, but there was something she had to remember. Mike, no, _officer _Royce was still a cop. She didn't want to find out what Alex would do if he found out she'd been talking to one. He was going to murder her when she went back anyway. And besides, she'd already decided she was going back. It was all her fault anyway.

"Kate, you witnessed an attempted murder. Of course we'll want to talk to you," Royce's voice was smooth and controlled. Kate forced herself to hate it. She didn't want to listen to it.

"You already did, remember? After it happened? What makes you think anything will have changed?" Her own voice sounded so bitter and cold. It was easy to hate that.

"Things have changed, Kate," Royce had nice blue eyes. Not as nice as Rick's though. Rick's were so full of warmth and hidden pain. But they were always closed when she went to visit him now. "We have reason to believe that this is not the first incident to happen in this family. In fact, we're pretty much certain we have a child abuse case on our hands. And then we have you."

Kate swallowed and looked away again.

"You aren't family are you?" Royce continued. Kate felt like she was being interrogated. But didn't they have special rooms for that or something? "Yet you always seem to be at the hospital when we look for you. You haven't been home in a week and I have to ask myself, is there another reason you don't want to go home? Or did you think we'd believe it's just because Rick is your friend, Kate?"

He kept saying her name. Why did he keep doing that? She bit her lip and played with her nails. Why couldn't she think of anything to say?

"I talked to your school councillor, Kate," That was never a good sentence to hear. "He had some interesting things to say, particularly about you."

"Should I be flattered or worried?" Kate managed to blurt out and inwardly groaned. _'Really Becks? That's the best you could come up with?'_

Royce sighed and shut the folder. Kate wondered why he had brought it in the first place. "Kate, don't act stupid. I know that something is going on between you and your step-dad and I _want_ to help you… but I can't do anything if you won't let me."

There was a long pause as Kate thought. She wanted to let him. She wanted to be helped the same way Rick had helped her. She didn't want to feel the way she felt anymore. But… that was the thing. It was _Rick _who had helped her. It was _Rick _who had told her it wasn't her fault. _Rick _had torn up her notebook. _Rick _had been her first kiss. Now he was lying in a hospital bed while his little sister slowly died and there was nothing anyone could do. And it was all _her _fault.

If she hadn't gone to their apartment, Alexis wouldn't have had to go into the living room and Michelle wouldn't have done anything. Alexis wouldn't have been stabbed, Rick wouldn't have been stabbed and things wouldn't exactly be perfect, but at least no knife would have been involved.

Rick was the most wonderful person who could ever exist. Alexis was the light in his darkness and the only thing that kept Rick going. And she had ruined both of them.

Finally, Kate looked Royce in the eyes, tears pooling at her own, and whispered, "You can't do anything because there's nothing to do," She stood as Royce stared at her in disbelief. "You're right. I need to go home."

"Kate…"

She walked past Royce as he sat there in shock, not understanding why she was doing this, why she walking back into the place that had been her own living nightmare for so long. He didn't need to. If she wanted help, she would have reached out for it long ago.

She didn't deserve to be saved. She deserved to have everyone watch her burn in hell.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

_It was late. Very late. The kind of late where you look at the time and think 'What the hell am I doing up at this time?'_

_Except Rick knew why he was awake at two in the morning on a Thursday night. His dad had hit him again. There was a throbbing feeling in his stomach where his dad had put his fist earlier in the evening, and even at the young age of ten Rick knew it wasn't going to go away any time soon._

_He turned around in his bed nervously, trying not to irritate his side. His room felt so small and hot. The covers he usually slept with were lying discarded on the floor of his disorganised room and if it hadn't been so wet outside, he probably would have opened the window too. It was too hot…_

_A knock on the door broke him out of whatever reverie he was sinking into and Rick bolted upright, afraid his father was at the door. Did he know Rick was up? Was he angry? After a beat of silence, the door quietly opened and Rick sighed in relief as his seven-year old sister poked her head around the door. The relief quickly turned to worry however, and Rick reached across to put on the lamp on his bedside table, blinking as the light cut into his pupils._

"_Ricky?" Alexis whispered quietly in a scared tone and for the first time Rick noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks._

"_Lex, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Without prompting his mind instantly turned to the worst case scenario. Was Dad hurting her too?_

_Without answering, Alexis ran across the room, literally jumped onto his bed and buried her face in the pillow Rick's head had been occupied mere moments ago. Rick bit his lip, unsure of what to do. His little sister was holding her favourite teddy bear like her life depended on it as she cried into his pillow._

"_Lex…" he murmured in a gentle tone, ignoring the stab of pain in his gut as he reached across to stroke her hair. "It's okay. Please tell me what happened."_

_Alexis stayed where she was until finally raising her head, sniffing and rubbing the tears out of her eyes. "I-I had a nightmare," she answered, obviously scared._

_Rick forced a smile onto his face. "Hey, aren't you too old and brave for them?"_

"_But…" Alexis' face crumpled and she wrapped her arms around Rick, burying her head into his chest. "You and Daddy were fighting and then Daddy hit you and you fell to the ground and didn't move anymore! I kept yelling at you but you didn't move…"_

_She was sobbing now, clutching him so tight it felt like his stomach might tear in two. He didn't move away though. He hugged her closer instead and wished he could tell her what she dreamt was ridiculous. That nothing even remotely similar to that would ever happen. The bruise on his stomach angrily convinced him otherwise._

"_It's okay," he whispered. "I'm here now, aren't I? I'll always protect you from your nightmares."_

_Alexis sniffed again and looked up at him. "Promise?"_

"_I promise," Rick smiled softly and held up his pinkie. Finally, Alexis smiled too as she raised her own pinkie and hooked it with his. Rick didn't let her go for the rest of the night. He simply held her in his arms as she slowly drifted off to sleep. _

_It didn't seem so small or hot in the room anymore either. It felt comfortable, safe and warm, and when Rick himself drifted off to sleep he did so with a smile on his lips._

_He would always protect Alexis. Always._

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'˚'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'˚'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

It was a strange sensation to wake up after a week of dreaming.

At first it was slow, like floating up through water, but the closer he got to the surface, the faster it became until one moment he was still half-dreaming and the next he was wide awake in the silent, dimly lit hospital ward. Blinking, Rick glanced around him and tried to push down the sense of déja vu assaulting him from all sides. The colour of white everywhere, the curtains, the bed, the machines… yep, he was still in hospital. But how long had he been asleep? Was Alexis still there? What about Kate? And where was Anthony…?

Rick frowned and sat up. It felt like there was something trying to work its way in and out of his head at the same time. A memory he didn't want to remember but he knew he had to. Something to do with Anthony and… being sorry? He pressed the heels of his palms and worked them into his eyes. What was it?

"_Thing is, I lied to you… again. I always do right? You're still the reason she isn't here but… she's still alive…"_

Rick didn't need the heart monitor to tell him his heart was beating far faster than was natural. Biting his lip, he forced himself to calm down lest a nurse came to see what all the fuss was about. It was only a dream, right? It had to be. Anthony had said he was sorry. That was so unbelievable it was like travelling to the North Pole and finding Santa Claus. But…

What if it _was _true? What if his mother really _was _still alive somewhere, living her life out as an actress? Rick didn't know how to feel about that. On one hand he was elated at the prospect of meeting his mother, on the other he just felt angry. More than angry, in fact: furious. Furious that she had upped and left him without even a goodbye, without even letting him know she was still there. No birthday cards, Christmas cards, hell a firework thrown into his room on the fourth of July would probably have left him with first degree burns for the rest of his life, but at least he would know she was alive.

He couldn't just sit there. He needed to see Alexis, he needed to see his father… and then he needed to find Kate.

Grimacing as for the second time during his stay in hospital the heart monitor flat lined as he ripped the cords off of his chest, Rick pulled on his own clothes before sneaking out of the ward, thankfully waking no-one else, and heading off down the corridor just before a group of nurses ran in to find an empty bed. Tying his sweatshirt around his waist as he walked, Rick skittered down the hallway like a stray alley cat, keeping an eye out for hospital staff all the while and noticing for the first time his hand didn't hurt anymore. Twice he got lost. He didn't bother keeping count of how many times he nearly got caught by worried staff, usually slipping away just in time to avoid being taken back to bed. Just as he was starting to panic however, Rick finally came across the hallway he recognised and headed onwards more confidently. He was painfully aware the hospital staff would still be searching high and low for him. Time was of the essence.

But when he finally entered the ward where Alexis was… well, that was just it. She wasn't there.

Rick checked the ward number and mentally replayed in his head where Kate had taken him before. The room looked the same, but then again, so did all hospital rooms. This was definitely the place though, Rick was sure of it.

So where was Alexis?

He scratched the back of his neck as he stood in the middle of the ward wondering what to do. As far as he could see, he had four choices. Go back to bed, which was stupid and something he knew he was never going to do. Search the entire hospital for Alexis' room in case she had been moved, also stupid and too time consuming. Go back to the red-bricked building and look for Kate and Alexis at the same time, something which was pretty unlikely and Rick never really wanted to consciously make a decision to go back to that building without a _very _good reason to anyway. So that pretty much left him with the last option. Find a nurse, bite the bullet and simply ask.

It was better than searching the whole hospital he supposed.

Finding a nurse, as it turned out, was far easier than avoiding them. Just down the hallway and around the corner was a desk where a young nurse – only in her mid-twenties - was intently staring at the computer in front of her. Security cameras, Rick guessed. His guess was proven correct when the nurse glanced to another screen, widened her eyes, and glanced up to look directly at him.

"Umm… hi?" Rick said rather pathetically. The nurse narrowed her eyes and didn't answer, instead opting to pick up a phone. "Wait!"

Rick had no doubt that that phone would activate some protocol and before he could say anything he would be whisked back to his bed with a slap on the wrist and probably some sleeping pills to boot. So to his relief, the nurse paused when he called out.

"You need to be back in bed," the nurse replied softly.

"I know," Rick hurried over desperately as the nurse made to speak into the phone again. "I know and I will. Just answer me one question, please?"

The nurse, the plastic nametag on her shirt said she was called Cleo, held his gaze for a moment before putting the phone down slowly, her gaze softening. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Resisting the urge to grimace at her official tone, Rick made a show of rubbing the back of his neck and biting his lip. The action seemed to work as Cleo's expression became more genuine and a lot of the tension disappeared from her shoulders.

"There was a girl in the ward back there," Rick again did his best to look as nervous as possible, hating that he was so good when it came to acting nowadays. "Her name is Alexis Castle. I'm her brother, Richard Castle, and I need to know where she is. I'll go wherever you want me to then, honest."

Cleo hesitated, but only for a moment. She gave him a pointed look, said, "Straight back to bed," and then began tapping something into the computer. "What was the name?"

"Alexis," Rick glanced around in case somebody else decided to appear. "Alexis Castle."

"Give me a minute…"

Rick's fingers danced nervously across the counter top in front of where the nurse sat, but he quickly stopped them when she gave him a look. Did it really take this long to find one patient? Eventually though, the nurse leaned forward and automatically, Rick did to. He never caught sight of the computer screen, but Cleo's face was enough. She looked at him, her dark brown eyes shadowed slightly by her dark hair, and opened her mouth to speak.

"No." Rick cut her off without even meaning to speak. "Where is she?"

"…I'm very sorry, Richard," Cleo looked more uncomfortable than Rick had ever seen anyone before in his life. "Alexis Castle-"

"You're lying."

"-passed away a couple of days ago," the nurse openly swallowed. "The damage done by the knife was too great. You were in a coma for a week and… I mean, I'm very sorry for your loss."

But her words meant nothing to Rick. _'This isn't happening. It can't be happening. Alexis is fine. She's fine. She can't be-'_

"Wait! You need to go back to bed!"

Rick ignored the voice calling after him. He simply let his feet carry him off in whatever direction they saw fit. He was going to find Alexis. She had to be there. She couldn't be gone, she couldn't be de-

"_Alexis Castle passed away…"_

Rick put a hand to his chest. It felt like someone was trying to wrench out his heart with a broken bottle. Years from now, when he was finally brave enough, Rick would relive this moment and use the shards of its details to slice away at himself. He would call himself every unspeakable name under the sun and know every breath he took belonged to Alexis because what had he been doing instead of being there for her? Sleeping.

Right then however, as the hospital hallways flashed passed him and he ran without even knowing where he was going, there was nothing for Rick to do but disbelieve.

'_I promised her. I was supposed to protect her.' _These two facts had been his north and south. Now he was in free fall. Now he was lost. Now his little sister – who always stood so tall despite the hell she lived in, so tall she blotted out the sun – had fallen and, to Rick, the whole sky collapsed with her.

'_It can't be, she's lying, they're lying, there's no way, not Alexis, not my sister, no, no, no, no, no no no nonononononononoononono…'_

But the horrible truth came crashing down like waves against high cliff, crumbling his denial and thundering around his head until it became a mantra repeating over and over…

Alexis Castle was dead.


	14. The Cold and the Knife

**Well what the fuck another chapter. For those of you read this story before a certain time, I'm no longer going to be rewriting this for reasons that are my own. So I'm going to finish this one. I don't know how long it will take or when I'll next update but that's what is happening.**

* * *

><p>Castle: <strong>Between the Lines<br>**Chapter 14:  
><em>- The Cold and the Knife -<br>_By NRZWolf 13

* * *

><p>It was raining a fine mist as Rick's feet finally carried him out of the hospital and into the night air. How he managed to avoid the hospital staff he didn't know and frankly he didn't care. Still wrestling with his sweatshirt because somehow he managed to turn it inside-out in his haste to pull it on, Rick vaguely realised he didn't care about the moisture falling from the dark sky. The gloomy weather suited his mood.<p>

The night air was actually surprisingly chilling compared to the oppressive warmth of the building he had just escaped, and a cool breeze coming from the direction of the river quickly raised goose bumps on his exposed arms. He couldn't stop shivering, although he would have much preferred to blame it on the cold rather than the way his heart was slamming wildly in his chest, spurred by pain and guilt-based adrenaline.

Honestly, Rick had no idea where he was going but he didn't care as long as he kept moving. It felt like the whole world would crumble around him if he stopped, and although he couldn't escape the thoughts swirling relentlessly around his head, at least it felt like he was going somewhere if his feet were moving. Maybe it would have been better to simply let the doctors put him back to sleep, but as soon as the thought crossed Rick's mind he knew that wasn't true. It was far better out on the open streets where he was surrounded by space and the open air and less likely to bump into some well-meaning doctor who knew what had happened to his sister and would look at him with pity and guilt-filled eyes.

That was what really annoyed Rick. What the hell did these people have to feel sorry about? This whole damn mess was his fault anyway. It felt like his entire life had just been made up of one shit decision after another, starting with his refusal to tell anyone what Anthony did to him for so many years and ending with sending his little sister out to get a glass of water for Kate when he _knew _their crazy bitch of a step-mother was lying in wait to-

'_You should be glad _you _weren't killed in the apartment. Kate's safe too, isn't she? Both of you could've been stabbed just as easily as _she _was'_

Which was entirely true but Rick still had to do everything in his power to stop himself banging his head off the nearest wall for a couple of hours. No matter what thought crossed his mind, he would never stop blaming himself.

It wasn't like he _asked _for this to happen though, right? Just like he never asked for his father to hit him. Or for his mother to die. Or did his mother leave? The teen bit his lip and shook his head distractedly as he walked. As much as he would like to sort out the whole farce with his mother, a small part of him knew all too well he just wasn't ready for that. It was slightly stupid and pathetic, he realised, that after sixteen years he could barely even think about his mother let alone consider she was alive.

That didn't matter right now anyway and Rick had always hated talking about things that didn't need to be said, which was probably why he was such a mess in the first place if he was honest with himself.

'_People tried to help you, but you didn't listen, and look where you've ended up. You should have done some actual protecting like you promised your little sister- promised her- promised Ale-'_

Rick stumbled on an uneven part of the sidewalk that he didn't even notice because he was momentarily blinded by tears. It hurt like hell because he stubbed several toes and for the first time it dawned on him that he had forgotten his trainers and was travelling the streets barefoot, but he was far too caught up in his thoughts to care.

If he'd just swallowed his goddamned pride and simply asked someone for help. If he'd spent less time worrying about Kate, who was obviously safe at the time, and focussed on the rest of the apartment. If he had been there when his little sister needed it most instead of passed out in a coma because of his stupid hand.

If he hadn't just watched while Michelle stabbed his little sister in the chest, moving only to get stabbed in the hand while she lay on the floor, her blood spreading out around her…

Michelle was gone. There was no way she didn't get arrested for what happened in the apartment, especially with Kate there as a coherent witness to tell the police what happened. But while his step-mother was gone, she sure as hell wasn't forgotten and while his initial concern for his little sister kept most of his feelings tightly rolled up in a ball and thrown to some obscure corner of his mind, now Rick just felt cold and empty and haunted.

As he was passing dark windows in what was obviously a more residential area of New York, his eyes caught sight of the unexpected and unwelcome view of a child being held by its mother through one of the few windows with a light on. The sight startled Rick so badly he almost ploughed face-first into the streetlight he was passing, eyes focussed on the woman gently rocking the child. While the remorse and sadness was fully expected, he was caught completely off-guard by the pang of pure longing that lanced through his chest, shortening his breath and sending his stomach into cart-wheeling nausea.

Before he was aware he was even moving he was stumbling towards a nearby alley, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle as he dropped to his knees and vomited bile onto the ground, his abdominal muscles straining forcefully enough to make him continue retching even when he had nothing left to throw up.

'_Urgh… at least it's the middle of the night' _He mused weakly, gasping for air and shuddering when every movement, no matter how miniscule, sent another wave of nausea rolling through him. _'There's nobody around to watch you puke your guts out in the middle of the street'_

Granted, even if someone was watching from a window or a doorway nearby, they'd probably just have mistaken him for some dumb bastard who couldn't hold his alcohol. But he wasn't drunk, although he was starting wish he was.

'_Don't even think about that. You know first-hand just how much more violent alcohol can make people. Do you really want to be running around like that?'_

There was a fountain nearby, a ridiculous ornamental piece with mermaids and water babies springing out of the middle, but all Rick really cared about was the running water. He limped his way over to splash some on his face and rinse the foul taste from his mouth, a spasm shuddering through him from the cold.

Standing there with his eyes closed, clutching the edge of the bowl and struggling to catch his breath, Rick suddenly realised from where he stood now, he was no longer within sight of that stupid woman and her kid. At the same moment, he became rather acutely aware that the circulating water sounded like babbling laughter. Whose? He didn't know. One moment his disconnected mind mistook it for children giggling hastily murmured secrets and the next he swore it sounded like a woman's teasing voice. Either way, he was dry heaving again a moment later and clamping down on the rim of the fountain so forcefully it felt like his fingers might break. Instead, they slipped on the wet stone and before he could stop himself he fell face first into the basin. Water sprayed into his eyes, momentarily blinding him. When he finally staggered upright again, pawing sluggishly at his face, he was face-to-face with one of those god-awful stone mermaids.

The thing was all flowing hair and full, pouting lips and as a woman's high, insane laugh echoed through his ears, Rick reacted without thinking and slammed his fist into its leering smile.

He found out a moment later the stone was actually incredibly hard. The mermaid's face remained as it was, but Rick was forced to bite his tongue to hold back a strangled cry of pain and dismay. He'd punched the fountain with his right hand, his injured hand, and the impact had jarred it so much it started throbbing as badly as it did when it had been infected.

Fortunately, the pain also helped drive off the confusion in his head. It was just a stupid fountain, nothing more. Slightly dazed, Rick finally manoeuvred himself out of the basin, clutching his aching hand all the while. The skin on his knuckles had broken and the damaged skin looked black and somewhat surreal, but the pain assured him he wasn't dreaming.

'_You aren't in a coma anymore. You're standing in the middle of New York somewhere and you just tried to kill a public fountain'_

A small noise escaped his throat that sounded suspiciously like a giggle and he bit his tongue hard enough to taste copper, reining in his hysteria before it could burst out of him in peals of neurotic laughter.

'_Get a grip, idiot, before you crack up and wake up the whole neighbourhood! If you didn't already, that is'_

He needed to start moving.

Again, Rick realised he still didn't actually know where he was going. A small part of him was beginning to forget why he was out there in the first place as his mind twisted in endless circles. As he thought about his life, it didn't really surprise him to discover he didn't have a clue where he belonged anymore. The only thing he'd ever returned to was his little sister. His mind continued down this track of thought and before long he had also realised that he had begun to hope a little while ago that Kate and his little sister's presence would salvage the little bit of sanity he had left. It would give him something concrete to hold on to while he picked up the scattered fragments of his heart, but his step-mother had effectively put an end to that and Rick had never felt so alone. Always it had been other people before him.

For days – weeks and months and _years _even – he'd been skirting around the issue, but tonight he finally found the reason he'd kept quiet all these years about the abuse he suffered at home.

'_I really am beyond help'_

Rick sat on a low wall he had been passing and it took a moment before he realised where he was: the park right next to the red-bricked building. He closed his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. It was strange to admit to himself how truly, for want of a better phrase, fucked up he was, but at the same time it was almost a relief. He didn't have to pretend to everyone, even himself anymore.

He opened his eyes as the sound of drunken yelling and laughing entered his ears and he watched silently, unnoticed, as a group of teens only a couple years older than him staggered past. Would that have been him in a little while if he'd been brought up like a normal kid? What if his mother had stuck around? What would he be like then? He continued to watch as the teens walked off out of his sight, his mind spinning once again.

'_You don't have to stay here anymore, do you? It'd be so easy to leave. Just go up to 7A one last time, grab your stuff and then hitchhike to wherever you want to go. Start over somewhere else, where you don't have to search through the crowds constantly for one last glimpse of your little sister'_

So easy… he could do it tonight.

'_Yeah right' _A sarcastic voice came from the back of his head and Rick frowned. He'd never talked to himself in his life in case he really did lose his mind but then again… did it really matter at this point? There was no-one he could confide in now. He was truly and utterly alone. _'Where do you think you're gonna go?'_

'_Anywhere. Anywhere but here. I don't care as long as it's somewhere I don't have to think about-' _Rick bit his lip and shook his head. _'Somewhere I don't have to think about what's happened'_

'_So what, you'll just leave Kate too?'_

'_I'll work something out okay!' _Rick retorted angrily.

'_You do know you're having an argument with yourself right now, right?'_

"Well, duh," he muttered. "I'd like to think I'm not _that _far gone."

'_Except now you're talking to yourself out loud, kiddo'_

"Whatever. It's less confusing that way."

'_Suit yourself. Anyway, do you really think you could leave Kate behind just like that?'_

"She could come with me, couldn't she?"

'_She has a life too y'know'_

"I'm not stupid."

'_Never said you were' _the voice told him soothingly. _'And I know it's not much of a life, but it's still a life and people _will _miss Kate if she's gone, despite what she believes. Not to mention you're confused and hurting right now so you aren't exactly thinking straight. I'm just glad you're not thinking throwing yourself off a building or something'_

"Can't say the thought never crossed my mind, but it's…" Rick frowned slightly as he tried to find the right words. "It'd be too easy, offing myself and making Kate deal with losing me too. Besides wherever A-Alexis is going I'm sure as hell not following."

Speaking his little sister's name, even to himself, hurt far more than Rick expected.

'_She's gonna lose you anyway if you don't pull yourself together. Why don't you just go back to the hospital and-'_

"Fuck that! I'm not- I can't-" Rick abandoned his seat in favour of moving again, running both his hands through his hair as he did so.

'_Okay, NOW you're being stupid. I know you're pretty messed up right now but you're still sick. Besides, Kate visited you every day while you were in hospital so if you want to find her, just wait a while. Or do you think she's gonna run away screaming when she finds out you're insane-'_

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

'_Alright, alright, settle down before you give yourself an aneurysm. Look, I won't talk about Kate or Alexis-'_

In desperation, Rick slammed the heel of one hand into the side of his head to silence the voice… then froze, suddenly aware that he just crossed a very distinct line. No voice, inward or otherwise, responded to this and for a few moments Rick found himself debating whether this was a good thing or not.

For the first time since he had arrived, Rick looked at the red-bricked building. Was Kate in there? If she was then… what? What would he do? Would he do anything?

He didn't know.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'****'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'****'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Kate Beckett woke up.

For a moment her eyes registered nothing but a deep darkness. Panic gripped her before a sudden epiphany reminded her where she was. Then she just felt empty.

Slowly the room came into focus, aided by the light of her bedside clock which glowed slightly in the dark. Silently, the face told her that it was 3:15am.

Tentatively, the teen sat up. Her body screamed in protest, fiery pain shooting through her, and her head felt heavy, swollen and foggy, throbbing every time she moved it. She forced herself to stand all the same, her legs threatening to give out beneath her. Quickly, she leaned against the wall and turned on the light. Pushed by desperation, Kate went over to her closet and pulled out a towel. Then she made her way to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Misty steam quickly filled up the small room, and Kate slowly, carefully peeled off her clothes. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror before it misted over. Her face had turned purple and blue, her nose and cheek were swollen, and there was a small cut on her burst lip. Her back and body itself were covered in small bruises from where she'd been thrown into various things and the floor, and a large flowering bruise had appeared on her stomach. She touched it gently, tracing the outside. It hurt even to breathe. Now she knew why.

The mist in the mirror finally took over, making her reflection an indistinct blur, so Kate turned towards the shower, steeling herself as she stepped into its heat. The water stung as it hit her back and face, but Kate gritted her teeth and washed herself as thoroughly as she could, scrubbing especially at her thighs, but unable to go much higher as the pain increased. As soon as she had finished, weakness crashed down on her and she lowered herself gingerly into a sitting position. The way she sat, manoeuvring herself so that the weight was taken on her hip rather than her backside, felt strangely good. It was nice to have the water hitting her bruised back and running down her face. She leaned her head against the white shower wall, eyes closed and face drawn.

She felt empty and exhausted. A fire she'd never been aware existed within her was gone and it felt… well it didn't feel like anything. It was just nothing. It had been since a couple of days ago, since she'd snuck out to go to the hospital, since she'd found out that Alexis…

Kate didn't know how long she sat in the shower, staring at the back of her eyelids. All she knew was that she didn't want to leave. Leaving meant moving, moving meant _thinking _and the teenager wasn't sure she wanted to do that yet. It was much better to simply sit there suspended in time, no feeling, no good and no bad. She was so _tired…_

A floorboard creaked.

Kate's eyes snapped open and she pressed herself in to the corner of the shower, straining to catch any shadow of movement beyond the shower curtain that would announce Alex's arrival. For a moment that lasted eternity, she sat like a trapped animal, barely breathing, watching, waiting for the inevitable. But no other sounds followed and eventually the teen relaxed as much as her body would allow. The fear had shot adrenaline into her system and the tiredness was gone to be replaced by trembling and what was soon to be another sleepless night.

Alex had not been pleased when Kate had returned to him.

Murderous was probably a better term.

It had always been bad, but the abuse had been at least durable. She could survive it and wait for the day she could leave this hell hole. Now she wasn't sure if she would last the night. He refused to let her leave the apartment, even for school. He took her at any time. He got off on her screams of pain, penetrating her completely dry.

How was anything supposed to make sense when her dreams were safety and waking up was entering the nightmare?

Slowly she stood, the water feeling like falling needles and unseen dirt still clinging to every pore. Not even thinking about her actions, she turned the shower off, wrapped herself in her towel and returned to her room. She made no noise as she moved through the apartment, just another shadow stealing through the night. No-one would notice if she disappeared forever.

A moment of actual thought made her carefully dry off then pull on a pair of sweatpants and an old hoodie. They were slightly too big for her, baggy and shapeless, but she could curl up in them and not feel so aware of her aching body.

Rick had never made her feel bad about her body.

Kate had to hold back a sob as an image of the boy she loved appeared in her mind. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved him, and it made the one in her mind even more torturous to imagine: cerulean eyes bright and warm, hair soft and wavy, smiling her favourite crooked smile as she envisioned his arms around her with such clarity she could practically feel them.

She missed him so much.

And she was never going to see him again.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'****'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'****'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Rick stood outside apartment 6A.

He wasn't entirely sure how he'd arrived there. One minute he'd been thinking about Alex hurting Kate and the next thing he knew he was on his feet and walking without any conscious decision to do so. Now he was here and, to be perfectly honest with himself, he had no idea what he was going to do.

The incident with the knife had shown well enough that Rick wasn't capable of saving anyone, so why was he standing outside Kate's apartment? He was no knight in shining armour. Even if the hospital stay had left him feeling stronger and healthier than he had in weeks, he was still a small teenager in all dimensions and had no hope of fighting off a full grown man. Then there was the much more obvious problem staring him in the face.

A locked door.

Groaning quietly, the leant his head against the door and wondered what time it was. Wondered what would happen if he knocked on the door and asked to see Kate. Wondered if Kate was even in there. Something told him that she was but that was ridiculous. It wasn't like he could sense her or something. That was something you'd find in a book—

"Are you alright, lad?"

Rick spun round so fast he nearly fell over. Standing there was the old man from reception, a genuinely worried expression in his tired eyes. Rick felt his face heating up and he made a quick show of looking awkward while desperately trying to come up with an excuse for being here.

"I saw you come in. It's awfully late isn't it?"

"Uh… I uh… I forgot my key," Where the hell was he going with this? "I was… out with friends and I thought I had it but I don't and now I'm locked out."

The old man gave him a funny look. "I thought the lock was broken?"

"Uh…"

"I haven't seen Mr Beckett leave for a few days," The man continued in his Scottish accent. Rick clenched his jaw and fists so tightly it hurt. He knew exactly what Alex was doing. It made him feel sick. "What does he even do in there all day anyway? I hardly ever see him leave your apartment. Does he have a job?"

"He said he'd gotten it fixed," Rick almost-but-not-quite snapped as, in a moment of recklessness, he reached out and turned the handle to apartment 6A. It opened. Rick turned back to the man. "I guess he's a liar."

Then, before the man could ask any more questions and before he could lose his nerve, Rick entered the apartment.

Holding his breath, he stood in the darkness, hardly believing what he had just done, what he was currently _doing. _He knew he was insane but he wasn't so insane that he'd do _this _was he? Evidently he was.

Besides, what did he have to lose?

The thought gave him courage just as the lights were turned on and Rick found himself staring at a rather dishevelled Alex Beckett who had obviously just gotten out of bed. The man was looking at him in shock which quickly turned to rage as Alex snarled at him.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?"

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'****'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'****'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Kate woke up to the sound of voices without realising she'd even been asleep.

Blearily she looked around her dark room and tried to put a source to the sounds, panic rising up her throat as shadows of Alex hovered on the edge of her vision at every turn. Eventually her sleepy mind realised that the voices were not, in fact, coming from anywhere nearby, but from somewhere else in the apartment.

Curiosity filled her as she heard the voices begin to get louder as the two people talking began to shout. She still couldn't make out what they were saying. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she slipped out of bed and tiptoed to her door. She hesitated before it, her hand on the knob and she berated herself for being too afraid to even open her door. She was stronger than this. She was.

Her teeth nearly tore through her lip as she bit it and violently shook her head. No, she wasn't. She was a coward. So she put her ear against the door and instantly flinched away as a familiar yell tore through the night.

"You aren't hurting her ever again!"

Kate's eyes widened. Her breath quickened. Her heart thudded in her ears. Her entire body began to vibrate. For a few precious seconds she stood there, trying desperately to process what she had just heard. It couldn't be…

Fear thoroughly pushed down underneath hope, she threw open the door and ran down the short hallway to the sitting room, sliding to a stop as the lamp light illuminated the scene before her. One word escaped her mouth before she could stop it, filled with a hundred different emotions she could never name and her favourite sound in the world.

"Rick!"

There he was. In her apartment, standing there, facing Alex, eyes wild, hair flattened to his head by rain, skin pale, hand still bandaged and in that hand was a knife.

Kate's eyes widened as the stainless steel edge glinted in the low light, winking at her as Rick's grip tightened around it, pointing it at Alex.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, kid?" Alex spun round to look at Kate and she instinctively took a step back. "This is him, isn't it? This is the bastard the tainted you!"

"Shut up!" Rick snarled before Kate could stutter out a reply. "She's not _tainted_. You're the one who keeps hurting her!"

Alex laughed and shook his head. He was only wearing boxers and an old t-shirt, but somehow he still looked threatening. He was the tallest person in the room and the shadows seemed to reach out around him, threatening to drag anyone in to his darkness if they got too close. But that wasn't why Kate was terrified.

Because the teenager standing there holding a knife didn't look like Rick. With his hair hanging across his eyes, his dishevelled clothes making him look bulkier, the way he was standing with that knife still stretched out in front of him and his eyes… his eyes… They weren't Rick's. They were Anthony's.

And for the first time Kate was afraid, truly afraid, of Rick Castle.

"Rick…?" She choked out, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Alex's eyes flicked to her but he didn't move, obviously wary of the weapon and unsure of what Rick might do. Rick swallowed heavily and slowly turned his head to take in Kate. She heard his small intake of breath, saw his hand tightened around the knife.

"You _bastard_!" He roared and started towards Alex. Alex backed away but Kate did the opposite. She ran to Rick before she even processed what she was doing. All she knew was that she had to stop him. Not for Alex's sake. Never for Alex's sake. But she knew Rick would never live with himself if he ever hurt someone the way he had been hurt, regardless of what they might have done.

"Rick!" She was crying now. She felt the tears as she reached him and grabbed onto his arm holding out the knife. His furious gaze turned on her and Kate fought not to look away. The image of Anthony flashed into her mind but she shoved it away. This was _Rick. _There was no reason to be afraid. There never had been and there never would be.

"Kate, he—" Rick was trembling. Her own body was shaking as she interrupted.

"No. Please," she shook her head, the jerking motions looking more like spasms. "This… this isn't you. You aren't like _them. _You don't hurt people."

Rick's trembling got worse. The knife shuddered in his hand as he did and for the first time Kate realised he had been crying. "It doesn't matter anymore," he whispered, broken and alone.

"Of course it matters." She glanced at Alex but he hadn't moved. He was simply watching the scene with unconcealed confusion and wariness.

"No," he replied quietly. "She's d-dead Kate. I don't have anything." His hand once again tightened on the knife and he straightened at Alex who took a step back. "But I can make sure he never hurts you ever again."

Kate flinched at the hatred in his tone. "You have me." She whispered and Rick nodded before taking in a shaky breath.

"Not while _he's _alive." He snarled.

Kate didn't know what to do. Her tears flowed freely as sobs began to rack her chest. As Rick made to move towards Alex, she did the only thing she could: she threw her arms around the teen, crying heavily into his shoulder as she gripped his sopping wet sweatshirt and pleaded with him, barely aware of the words coming out of her mouth.

"Stop it please, this isn't you, you're scaring me, stop it, he deserves it but you _can't _it's not _right, _please Rick, don't do this, come back to me, _please_…"

She didn't know how long this went on for. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, an eternity. But, finally, she heard the sound of something clattering to the hardwood floor and both of Rick's arms wrapped around her as he whispered non-stop apologies into her ear.

When she pulled away, she laughed in relief (although it sounded more like a strangled sob). Rick was staring back at her, _her _Rick, the one who had kissed her, the one who had ripped up her notebook, the one who had told her it wasn't her fault.

But their eye contact only lasted a second as once again Rick glared at Alex. The man still hadn't moved and Kate wondered what was going through her step-father's mind. His face was unreadable.

"We're leaving now," Rick voice was quiet but firm. "And we're not coming back. If you ever go near Kate again…"

The threat was left hanging in the air as Rick steered Kate towards the door. Kate didn't resist. She couldn't believe what was happening. She half expected to wake up and find herself still in her bed. This all had to be some sort of strange dream.

But she didn't wake up as Rick opened the door. She didn't wake up as Alex stood there, still unmoving, not saying a word. She didn't wake up as she took one last look at the apartment that had been her hell for so long.

She didn't wake up as the door closed, shutting out apartment 6A for ever.

०౦ംഠ०**҆****'****'****҅**०ം◦∙ ം०**҆****'****'****҅**०౦ംഠ०

Two teenagers stood outside the doors to the 12th precinct of the NYPD, gazing up at it with strange expressions on their faces. Both of them had clearly been crying. One wore a haunted look and one hand was gently fingering the white bandage on his hand. The other looked calmer, as though she had accepted what was about to happen and was ready for it.

"Are you ready?" The boy asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." The girl replied.

They gave each other one last look before walking over the threshold together, hand in hand, preparing themselves for whatever might come.


End file.
